[JillyRoger]

I've suffered very poor mental health for more than a decade, including a BPD diagnosis, severe anxiety, acute OCD and depression. In recent years I have been seen by numerous psychiatrists, counsellors and hospitals, plus prescribed various medication.

Nothing has fixed or even reduced my crushing symptoms, which mainly stem from a situation I will never be able to change without awful consequences I can't contemplate (mainly losing my family).

The best medication I've been tried on, because of it reducing my symptoms and helping me feel slightly calmer and less angry, is Duloxetine (Cymbalta). However, the thought of it putting strain on my liver and basically being a foreign substance in my body forever resulted in me weening myself off it gradually after taking it for 6 months.

I didn't suffer any adverse effects from coming off it, but it's fair to say that my anxiety is much worse because the situation I'm trapped in has worsened. I am therefore thinking about going back on Duloxetine/Cymbalta, but every time I think "this will be for life", I decide to postpone the decision again.

Any thoughts?

[Skeezyks]

Hello JillyRoger: Well... about all I can say is Cymbalta, & it's generic equivalent, were the best antidepressants (for me) I ever took... in fact the only one that ever did any real good. I was on the maximum recommended dosage for over a year. (I don't recall how long exactly.) There were virtually no side effects. And when I finally decided to go off of it I was able to taper down over the course of a 2 week period with no significant side effects. If I were to ever consider going back on an antidepressant, Cymbalta would be at the top of my list of possibilities.

The liver-related warnings seem to relate primarily to people who drink alcohol & / or people who have pre-existing liver conditions. So before going back on Cymbalta it might be worthwhile to get your liver function checked out. The reality in taking any psych med, it seems to me, is that there is always the potential it could have some impact on a person's health, especially if the med is taken for an extended period of time. So assuming that is the case, the question becomes do you need the med enough that it's worth whatever amount of potential health risk there may be in taking it. It's a cost / benefit question to which only you know the answer.

I see this is your first post here on PC. So... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[JillyRoger]

Thanks very much for your reply, Skeezyks.

I experienced the same as you i.e. that I had very few side effects on Cymbalta.

During the 9 months I took Cymbalta, my suicidal thoughts and deep depression remained the same, but my anxiety reduced and I was a calmer, less angry person.

Since gradually stopping Cymbalta, which I have now not taken for around 2 months, I'm still suicidal and depressed but far more anxious and angry. This is largely because of the situation I'm in, my personal circumstances.

My partner and I just don't like the idea of me having to take Cymbalta for the rest of my life to cope with circumstances that won't go away, which are imposed on me by other people and involve threats preventing me from changing the situation.

Thanks for your welcome!

[Travelinglady]

Hello, JillyRoger, and welcome! I take Cymbalta and find it wonderful. I personally think we need to do what we can to keep going. That said, I also see a therapist regularly to help me to cope with the difficult personal circumstances in my life--such as a narcissistic mother. I highly recommend therapy for all of us with mental-health struggles. Maybe you need a different kind of "counselor."

Again, welcome! Feel free to use our site (your site, too now) to share what's happening with you. You might find that some other folks are in a similar boat and can tell you how they cope. We care! By the way, if you are talking about toxic relatives, then they do tend to fight to keep relationships with them the same. Threats? How sad.

[scarletnotebook]

Hi JillyRoger,
I like to think of mental or emotional health struggles as, "something is missing, something is extra, or both." "Missing" could be supportive social structure, trauma treatment, B vitamins, iron, or other things that people might need. Something "extra" could be toxic relationships, addictions, etc.

I lost my family when I ended an abusive relationship with a parent. My other parent and sibling sided with the abuser. It made me feel infinitely worse in the short term, but I feel so relieved now, I'm starting to feel safe again, and my PTSD feels acute, but no longer "stuck."

It's always okay to take care of yourself. That might mean ending relationships, it might mean medicine, it might mean therapy or trauma treatment, it might mean something else that I'm not thinking of right now. It's your choice how you want to proceed. I just wish someone had told me years ago that it is absolutely okay to do what I need to do to stay safe.

I'm still struggling with the idea of medication, and losing my family. But I've found medical providers who specialize in helping people with trauma histories, and that's made a huge difference compared to meeting with therapists with more general specialties.

[JillyRoger]

Thanks again for the continued replies and I'm really appreciative of you sharing your own circumstances and thoughts.

Essentially, my family relationships are all good, but if I leave a certain organisation we all belong to (me now rather reluctantly) they would cut me off.

All therapists and psychiatrists I've seen have all advised to leave and live with the consequences, but in some ways I'm a weak person and can't face losing them.

If I start taking Cymbalta again, do you think I could drink a couple of bottles of beer each weekend, or one or two glasses of wine? I'm not a heavy drinker but do like to enjoy one glass with a meal at the weekend. My main hangup over medication is the fact I don't want to have to rely on something for the rest of my life to keep me alive, but I appreciate what some of you have said, that this may be necessary.