[Walkingwithspiders]

I'm just rambling here. I need to push myself to make sense of my choices so that next time I see the doctors I will know what I want to say.

I've been on the new combo for a little more than a week. Less hallucinations but more irritable. I expect next month a mood stabilizer will be added. Most likely depakote or lithium. I've been on both before. Trying my best to consider which has the least impact on liver and kidney function because in the past have had issues with both but more liver issues.

Honestly liver failure was worse than my worst moments of depression. I eventually slept on bathroom floor because I had so much difficulty walking six feet to use the toilet. Topamax was much better. Only side effect was with language, forgetting how to make words (both through writing and forming words orally), but the dose was high.

I guess I'd be most comfortable with topamax, but my neurologist won't be as happy. More likely they will agree on lithium. Best thing with lithium and depakote is dosing is more a science.

I think Lamictal is the best mood stabilizer. Do some research and ask your doctor about that.