[Lostgirl26]

Hi there! So there is so much going on I don't even know where to begin. I was homeschooled by single mother who was an alcoholic and I'm certain has mental illness that has never been diagnosed (thinks angels/animals talk to her, thinks she can be invisible, etc). She didn't really take me to the dr even though at ages 14-17 When i barely left the house and was having breaks downs daily. That's when my OCD symptoms became severe.

I would shave my whole body several times a day, shower 8-10 times a day, my skin was totally raw. Anyways fast forward a few years of barely functioning holding random jobs, finally at 23 I sought out help. I quit two of jobs, I currently work part time at a horrible job that they will at least let me call off every week for my panic attacks or days I can't get out of bed/shower but the job itself seems to cause me anxiety.

I currently can't go more than 6 hours without showering. . My official diagnosis is OCD, major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder.
So 3 years ago I went on Medicaid went to therapy weekly til after almost 2 years my counselor said I had all the tools and she didn't think therapy was going to fix the core issues that it came down to medication. So she put me on maintenance and I just make appts as needed.

During this first year period I saw my first psychiatrist. She prescribed me Zoloft and kept upping the dosage. When I maxed out the dosage and still felt miserable she wouldn't even switch me to an another ssri! She wanted me to go to a daily center from 8-4 with group sessions and one on ones with drs etc for 4-6 weeks. I told her I couldn't afford anything if I didn't work at all for a whole month and that wasn't an option for me.

So I switched psychiatrists, while I was waiting to get into a new psychiatrist my pcp gave .25 klonopin x2 daily as needed. It was a miracle worker! Some days I didn't even need both! I felt 50% better than I remembered feeling in years! After about 6 weeks he said okay you can't stay on this but meds do seem to work now it's time for your psychiatrist to find the right meds.

My second psychiatrist then proceeded to switch me on and off several ssris, propanol as a substitute for the klonopin that she wouldn't prescribe despite it working, buspar, I worked with her for about 9 months not really seeing any progress then she left the practice. Her replacement has done the same thing different ssris that don't work.

Now this 3rd dr (who I have been with about a year now I think) thinks I may have ADHD and bi polar 2. She just prescribed 2 mg ambilify for me to try. Anyways as for the ADHD she tells me she can't diagnosis me I have go to one of 4 centers for large scale testing and it will cost $500 possibly not covered by insurance. Is this normal?

I can barely function, I'm only somewhat stable cause my fiancé makes just enough money that with my small income we can get by but I want a career, I want to go school, I want a future. I'm 26 and I've tried to remain hopeful and tried everything the drs recommend but i don't have a history of drug abuse and I feel like the klonopin worked so well isn't this what it's made for?

At this point up I'm up to 6 diagnosis if she is right about the bipolar and ADHD. Yet they don't seem to help me when I say I'm about to crack! I just want to see progress any progress. I feel like no one will take me seriously unless I hit rock bottom and I've been holding on by a thread. Have I just had horrible luck with psychiatrist or is this normal?

I'm at the end of my rope, I'm not a functioning adult. I am incapable of taking care of myself financially/need help because I can't even feed myself or pay my bills on time some days. I'm exhausted and feel disoriented constantly. Half the time I feel like my body is on autopilot and I'm watching through an outside perspective. I still can't be anywhere for more than 6 hours without showering and changing my clothes. I don't know what more to do! I expected some progress in 3 years and I'm ready to give up hope completely.

I go to Cleveland clinic currently does anyone in the Cleveland area have a better suggestion? Does anyone from an outside area know how I can either get some sort of help paying my rent while I go into a month long program? Or how to make my psychiatrist see that this just isn't cutting it? I'll try the ambilify but I'm really not feeling hopeful or confident in medical professionals at this point. Any advice or support would be appreciated! Thanks again.

[still_crazy]

psychiatry is kind of a messed up branch of medicine. sorry about that. your experience is worse than some peoples', better than some others' (believe it or not...).

I dunno. I don't have any real advice for you, but I do wish they'd stop referring you here there and other other place. That's not been my experience of psychiatry, but...I have heard that kinda thing happens.

The psych drugs can only do so much. diagnosis...not set in stone. This isn't like getting a CT scan or something, where there is objective confirmation of a diagnosis. Its extremely subjective and...wow. I'm sorry you've gone thru this.

I don't mean to sound bitter and jaded, etc., but psychiatry isn't that great. I take a couple things now. Keeps me even, out of a hospital, all that. That's about the extent of it. There are no miracle cures. At this point, some clinics are even trying to bring back brain operations (psychosurgery) for OCD and some other problems. Yup...they're bringing back slighly modified versions of lobotomy. That's "progress," apparently.

I hope things get better for you.

[Skeezyks]

Hello Lostgirl: I'm sorry I cannot really offer any advice with regard to your concerns. However since this is your first post here on PC... to PsychCentral… from the Skeezyks! May the time you spend here be of benefit.

PsychCentral is a great place to get information as well as support for mental health issues. The more you post, & reply to other members’ posts, the more a part of the community you will become. Plus there are social groups you can join & chat rooms where you’ll be able to connect with other PC members in real time (once your first 5 posts have been reviewed & approved.) Lots of great stuff! So please keep posting!

[Walkingwithspiders]

My daughter is on her dad's insurance and has great benefits so when I took her to see a doctor they did a genetic test using a salvia sample to decide on the best medication and dose and which drugs are most likely to cause more side effects. It looked at a lot, even pain meds. For instance she is less likely to respond well the long acting NSAIDs than advil or motrin.

The co-pay was high but her dad paid for it. I wish I could remember the name of the test/company, but right away the doctor knew what to try.

I would think the Cleveland Clinic would offer this as an option. Have you asked your doctor about it?