Medications

I'm not sure if this belongs here (I'm very sorry if it doesn't). But basically, I was wondering what medications people are on and if they help? I've been on a different combination of meds since I was 14 (I'm 29 now). I don't know if its just "me" or the medications that make me who I am. I mean, I remember my life was so different, better, happier when I was a child. Once I started the meds, I cant remember if they helped me or just CHANGED me. Can that happen? Can the medications change who you are as a person? Especially if you started them during your "developmental" ages? I don't know who I am. I haven't for a while but it's getting worse. I feel completely void of emotions, or I get emotions for things that aren't relevant. It's hard to explain. I feel like I cant fall in love, I feel like .... nothing....but I don't know if getting off the meds after all these years will help or make things worse? I take A LOT of meds BUT I've tried every combination by now. Does anyone else have this problem? I've tried tapering off by myself but it's really hard for me.

Medication has given me a life. I was a very depressed and anxious child and a volatile, acting-out teen. Went on meds in my 20's and finally felt more stable and functional. Yes, after all these years I do wonder who, exactly, I would be without meds...but then, I might not be alive were it not for medication.

The meds I'm on are Cymbalta 60mg., Lithium 900mg., Seroquel 25mg., and Klonopin 2mg.

I don’t do well without medication and would not be here without it.

Medications vary by person. I've seen ex-friends of mine completely change as people when they're on meds. Some were more functional on meds, and some felt worse on meds.

I've been on over 40 different types of medications, and none have worked for me. They all make me feel depressed, anxious, or both. Other meds like Celexa made me feel suicidal. I started taking meds at age 30, so I was fully developed by then.

Since you've been taking meds while you were still developing, I would imagine your brain chemistry has been affected by the longevity of medication use.

this is a tough thing. the psych drugs can help. i try to think...of the good things about who i am now. easier said than done. if you choose to stop your meds, id recommend doing it slowly, preferably w/ some kind of doctor (family doctors seem to be more willing to take people off psych drugs...) supervising you.

I've been on meds since I was 10. I'm 49 now. I believe meds have indeed changed me. There has been some good, but I wish I had never been put on them, at least while I was a child. You might want to look at http://www.kellybroganmd.com and http://www.breggin.com. If you decide you want to get off the drugs, don't taper on your own. Check out these resources. Find a supportive doctor. It can take years to taper off them and you can have withdrawal for a few years as well.

My son self medicated and also had prescriptions. He was on Paxil for a few months, then he went off of it. He had to detox from seven different things all at once, including opiates. This is what I believe: the longer you are on certain meds, the harder it is to get off of them. My son had anxiety, depression and OCD. Really I think he's autistic. But, he was able to detox from all of the medications over a year. And then he learned how to deal with his anxiety and OCD with self taught behaviour modification. He started eating better, changed his sleep schedule, starting getting active (hikes, biking, etc.) and began to stabilise his mood and behaviour. I think he pushed himself to address his issues because he didn't want to go to therapy. Now he works 20 hours a week and goes to university 20 hours a week and has very minimal stress, no anxiety, no depression and no OCD. But I still think he's autistic, because it doesn't just go away.

My meds work and I don’t want to switch anything around. I’m going to have to start paying $64 a month for my geodon. But I don’t want to get off it or switch to something else.

My doctor asked me if I needed “so much” geodon and in my head I said “shut your mouth and never say that again”

I just firmly told him I needed it all and he backed off.

I can totally understand where you're coming from. It can be difficult for anyone--whether or not they have a psychological disorder or take medication--to forge a solid identity and feel confident in their own skin, confident about their own desires and in touch with their feelings. The process can be more difficult when you wonder what life would be like without the medication. I often wonder myself. But at the end of the day, I know that the medication is one really important component in my being healthy enough to even ask these kinds of existential questions. You say that you remember being a happy child. Maybe that's true. But psychological disorders often don't become symptomatic until the adolescent years. In other words, regardless of how idyllic you think your childhood was, it's no guarantee that you won't develop a psychological disorder or need medication later. Right now, you describe a situation in which you can't feel fully. Maybe you are taking too many medications or at too high a dose. If I were you, I would speak to my psychiatrist about this. It's also possible, however, that in spite of the medications you're taking, you are still depressed, which could mean you aren't taking the correct meds or that you should also be in therapy. I believe that people who are on medication should also be in therapy, and I mean long term. Even when life is going smoothly, I think it's important to be checking in with a therapist, even if it isn't weekly. I think the risk of coming to "rely" on a therapist is slim compared to the risks involved in not being in therapy regularly or the benefits of being in therapy.

I think medications can change a person but I also think you need to be on the right ones. I have been through sooo many meds and combos and felt terrible on them and sometimes not myself. After 15 years I finally found a med combo that helps me feel good and I feel like myself.

my meds are in my signature

Medications definitely help. They've probably saved my life and my ability to exist without being lost. I can definitely understand the condition that makes so many homeless people with psych disorders that don't get treatment. That could be me, very easily.

It does take a very long time and experimentation. Meds react differently in different people and combinations. People have side effects differently. Generally, they can be worth it.

I don't know...but I do know I wouldn't be alive now to be anybody without them...

Meds do change you but what would you be like without them?