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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,046
11 3,220 hugs
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#1
It is too.early too tell but sudenly my head seams way more clear, even tired as ****. Clear like it have never been in years
I have bleen sleeping much less, because I am away and I have to get up early, and it makes me feel tired. In fact, yesterday was awfull because I just wanted to go to bed, so I went to bed at 8pm. Then I wake at 3pm,still tired, but with plans and thoughts. I was doing.mathematics and planning my day. That never happens. I made "a friend" at Vienna (where I am) because I sudenly could feel my sarcástic personality coming back. I feel way more social too. They tested me once and said I had a very high iq, but I have been depressed my whole life, só I dont know my potencial, the truth is I have so much trouble thinking and still I did so well at school. I dont want to become maniac, I dont think it could happen, just yesterday I felt so de personalized and confused, and the days before soo anxious. Well, it is too early to tell, but I feel different, more social, which is very weird. I think my new "friend" also has a very high iq, we have so similar interests, I just want to have a though processing has sharp has he has. Could I get there without mania? We both get so much entusiástica talking with each other, he is an introvert and a social enthusiast at the same.time, I can be both either. I "have been wanting" to do stuff for years like Learning how to play music, he almost convinced me. I dont feel in that place yet, but I want. Ok, I should deffinetly shoulded have slept more, because I now feel tired and my speech is a little bit in circles, but I was very interested with stuff on my mobile, photography, and couldnt go back to sleep. And then I realized I had time to go visit some gardens before my flight and after the sunrise... And the metro and the gardens where open at a time, só I had time and I could come and go and still catch my flight. I am a little anxious about becoming maniac, but I am still too depersonalized to do that. I am still very forgetfull. And even yesterday I was worried about stomach bleeding because I felt so tired and though I could be losing blood, I am obsessive as my new doctor said. I felt understood with her as nobody understood me in years, and she medicated me with something different, I have never toke before, because of that. I would be smarter.if.I slept for a. bit. But I wanted to share this. I think this post is stupid and I thought about deleting it, it.is boring and redondant, but as. I said I feel more social, and I really dont have anyone to talk about this. |
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mote.of.soul, Travelinglady, Yzen
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mote.of.soul, Yzen
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2016
Location: North America
Posts: 2,168
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#2
That is wonderful that the medication seems to be helping. A clear mind is a great help in coping with the anxiety.
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mulan
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,046
11 3,220 hugs
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#3
[QUOTE=Yzen;6457854]That is wonderful that the medication seems to be helping. A clear mind is a great help in coping with the anxiety.[/QUOTE
Hi, I am happy to see you! It mainly helps with anxiety yes! Meanwhile, I had a big discution with my sister and I realized that part of feeling finner was because I was way without anyone to judge me meanly 24/7. I told her what was going on my mind, the way she made me feel judged, she used some emotional blackmail on me. But I know not everything is my fault. I feel bad for hurting her, but I am not the only one wrong in here, and I can't forget that. She might love me, but she hurts my personal development even more. It was stucked, but I remember all my life feeling more social and good about my friends whenever she wasnt around. I remember how my father reapeating o ver the years she was too bossy on me. I am sorry but what she says is not for my own good and I am not being selfish on her for being myself. No one tells you most of the time your voice is annoying, you need to shut up, your stories are uninteresting and your behaviour is silly and unwanted. It is not for my own good and being tired is not an excuse on her to say this, and not a selfish thing on me to just exhist and speek in my way. I cant accept myself as she says she is trying to help with (my wellbeing) and it wont come from within when she is toxic. I am sorry Sister, I May not be perfect, but this time I am right. I want your wellbeing and you might be suffering, but I have the right to be wright. |
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mote.of.soul
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Legendary
Member Since Jan 2018
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 13,189
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#4
Good on you mulan, I'm happy you told your sister how you felt. That's very brave and it's correct as well, so I'm happy you're feeling better within yourself. I think medication definitely works better when there's no toxic people or situations to keep destabilizing the emotions, yes.
My meds are helping in my life too, but I have to put in the work also. Thanks for sharing mulan. |
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mulan
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mulan
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#5
I’m glad to hear medication is helping you. Stick with it and I hope you continue to feel better.
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mulan
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mulan
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