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New Member
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 3
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Oct 23, 2021 at 11:15 PM
#1
Hello all. This is my first post here. It's extremely tough for me to open up, which is why I've spent weeks contemplating whether I should sign up for this site.
I feel like I'm unraveling a bit lately and it's scaring me big time. I'll give you a short description of my mental woes to get you caught up: I'm 37. I've struggled with depression since I was about 12. Kept it a secret until I was around 28 years old. I did such a "good job" of hiding it that I was always described as the happiest, friendliest, most stress-free person. Around 28 years old, my mental health took a steep dive and I became the opposite of what I had always been. I was mean (vicious even), angry, irritable. My nickname was "demon". My relationship with my family was ruined. This went on for about 6 years. I was literally at war with myself, fought to stay sane or even alive. I was so far beneath rock bottom that I couldn't even look up and see the bottom of that rock. I finally sought help at the end of 2018 and it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I know I wouldn't be here today if I hadn't done so. I started to see a therapist and a psychiatrist who prescribed Zoloft to me. I started taking it at the end of November (2018) and first noticed how much my life had changed in February (2019). However, Zoloft kept me in a zombie-like state and I was tired ALL of the time. Because of this, I was taken off of it and prescribed Lexapro instead. It has worked well for me just like Zoloft did, but without being as sleepy. I was happy. I laughed more. I was pleasant to be around again. My relationships improved. Fast forward to the present. Within the last few months, I became more aware of certain things that had been bothering me that wasn't such a problem before. The first, emotional blunting. I know this can be a good thing for some, but it was getting too intense for me. I couldn't feel emotions as they were meant to be felt. I felt nothing when I looked at a beautiful sunset. I had to force my brain to be aware of what emotion I should be feeling, without actually feeling them. Does that even make sense to whoever is reading this? Besides that, my memory (which I have had problems with for years) seemed to be getting much worse. I couldn't focus on anything, remember anything, etc. Fast forward to much more present times: my psychiatrist took me off of Lexapro and put me on Wellbutrin instead. I started taking that on October 5 and have been struggling ever since. Wellbutrin is kicking my butt: severe headaches (on top of my daily headaches), stomach pain, dizziness, wooziness, queasiness, etc. I've read other people's similar experiences and most say to ride it out because it'll all be worth it when it starts to work. The past few days have been extra rough because I've been cranky, irritable, vicious, etc. I'm terrified I'm going back to my old ways. I'm scared of so many things right now. I'm scared to stop taking Wellbutrin because I've come this far and I want to experience this glorious "high" that I've been reading about. BUT when will that come? Am I going to continue spiraling downward until then? Or what if that never comes? Do I go back to Lexapro and just live with the emotional blunting? Do I go back to Zoloft and make peace with the zombified state that I'll always be in? I apologize for this looooong rant (that I thought was going to be short!). Is anyone else taking Wellbutrin? Have you had these side effects? And when, OH WHEN, did it start working for you?! Was it worth it? |
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 *Beth*
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
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Oct 26, 2021 at 02:24 PM
#2
Hi, I'm taking Wellbutrin. I've been on it for about 3 months. So far it's not helping me. I don't expect it to, after 3 months. I don't notice any side-effects from it. I've heard such great reviews of Wellbutrin, but I'm disappointed with it.
I was on Zoloft for years and found it very helpful. __________________ |
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New Member
Member Since Oct 2021
Location: USA
Posts: 3
2 |
Oct 29, 2021 at 11:16 AM
#3
Thank you for responding! Unfortunately, after 3 weeks of taking it, I had to stop. My anger/rage had gotten too severe and my psychiatrist insisted I stop immediately. I'm a little disappointed that I never got to see it work in its full effect, but it was ruining me. I'm back on lexapro now, but I guess that takes time to build up as well since I'm still not completely out of my wellbutrin funk yet.
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| SlumberKitty
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catches the flowers
Member Since Jul 2019
Location: Downtown Vibes, California
Posts: 15,701
(SuperPoster!)
4 23.7k hugs
given
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Oct 30, 2021 at 03:25 PM
#4
Quote:
I'm sorry, I typed "Zoloft" and I meant Lexapro. Lexapro was helpful for me. I hope it is for you. __________________ |
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My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
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