It's been six and a half years...

185329 · Feb 14, 2024 at 01:02 AM

Of being medication compliant. And of those six+ years, my regimen has been exactly the same for about one and a half years. I'm on 30mg escitalopram and 30mg olanzapine. The side-effects seem to have waned, most recently. The only complaint I have is that I feel like the medication does not live up to its miraculous reputation.

And I know different medications alter different neurotransmitter levels in the nervous system. The sad thing is that I went for so long being recalcitrant regarding treatment, and my anosognosia had a LOT to do with it. Well, I actually was cooperative about taking the medication and seeing psychotherapists and social workers. But I was reluctant about it. In my eyes, there was nothing wrong with the way I thought.

And my delusions of grandeur were real to me. But now I am in therapy again. So maybe things will get better for me, even though things don't seem to be getting any better at all. It's just wishful thinking. It's me just thinking, "Yeah, someday I'll be better. Someday..."

Tart Cherry Jam · Feb 14, 2024 at 01:52 PM

"The safety of doses above 20 mg/day has not been evaluated in clinical trials. " from the FDA fact sheet on olanzapine https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugs...253s048lbl.pdf

You are taking 50% over the max dose. But since you have been on it for a long time and things have been fine, I guess you prescriber knows what they are doing. And the side effects seem to have waned, so, congratulations.

Is what you are trying to say that you recognize you need treatment now, the side effects have waned, but the beneficial effects are missing?

May I ask why your screen name is a numeric string? It reminds me of Compuserve email addresses from back in the previous millennium. And I am dating myself here

.

185329 · Feb 14, 2024 at 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam

"The safety of doses above 20 mg/day has not been evaluated in clinical trials. " from the FDA fact sheet on olanzapine https://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugs...253s048lbl.pdf

You are taking 50% over the max dose. But since you have been on it for a long time and things have been fine, I guess you prescriber knows what they are doing. And the side effects seem to have waned, so, congratulations.

Is what you are trying to say that you recognize you need treatment now, the side effects have waned, but the beneficial effects are missing?

May I ask why your screen name is a numeric string? It reminds me of Compuserve email addresses from back in the previous millennium. And I am dating myself here

.

I am experiencing benefits, but sometimes it doesn't really seem that way. Like in the grand scheme of things, I am not really getting that much better.

I chose my screen name randomly. Why I chose a random string of numbers, I don't know.

Tart Cherry Jam · Feb 15, 2024 at 12:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 185329

I am experiencing benefits, but sometimes it doesn't really seem that way. Like in the grand scheme of things, I am not really getting that much better.

I chose my screen name randomly. Why I chose a random string of numbers, I don't know.

Maybe if you get clarity on your goals, it will be easier to track the benefits. It is not clear what is a benefit in the grand scheme of things. But there are less grand benefits that may be quite palpable.

185329 · Feb 15, 2024 at 12:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam

Maybe if you get clarity on your goals, it will be easier to track the benefits. It is not clear what is a benefit in the grand scheme of things. But there are less grand benefits that may be quite palpable.

True. Sometimes it is evident that my goal is to learn as much as I can, as I have expressed this goal to my therapist. One goal that I have is to learn Spanish.

I have a book on that language, which I have not really delved into as of late. I learn new verbs, nouns, etc., occasionally, but I would really like to engross myself in that subject a lot more frequently. What I have learned, so far, is not enough.

Tart Cherry Jam · Feb 15, 2024 at 08:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 185329

True. Sometimes it is evident that my goal is to learn as much as I can, as I have expressed this goal to my therapist. One goal that I have is to learn Spanish.

I have a book on that language, which I have not really delved into as of late. I learn new verbs, nouns, etc., occasionally, but I would really like to engross myself in that subject a lot more frequently. What I have learned, so far, is not enough.

I think you can do it. Try this free method:
Let Tiny Habits change your life

185329 · Feb 15, 2024 at 07:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tart Cherry Jam

I think you can do it. Try this free method:
Let Tiny Habits change your life

I remember being into Tony Robbins years ago. I have three of his books, read two of them multiple times, and the third I never read fully. But it seems that when I am on more medication, I tend to not really care about Tony Robbins and his content.

One of his books, entitled, Giant Steps, says on the front cover: "Small Changes to Make a Big Difference, 365 Daily Lessons in Self-Mastery". This is the book I never got around to read fully.

The other two are Unlimited Power: The New Science of Personal Achievement and Awaken the Giant Within: How to Take Immediate Control of Your Mental, Emotional, Physical, and Financial Destiny!. These two are the books that I read multiple times.

Anyway, your post reminded me of the book I never read fully, which is why it made me think of Tony Robbins.

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