posted this in Anxiety as well...about Anxiety,meds,SI and ED

This post is about past SI, current anxiety, and food/self image issues.

I am 27 and to start my new position at my current employer a week from tomorrow. This is a huge thing; I have been a temp at this place for TWO YEARS. And starting 5/12, I am a bonified employee, with health insurance and vacation time! However, I am having horrible thoughts of self doubt and failing at my new position. The anxiety is overwhelming even with Xanax. I also have scar issues due to SI. The scars are on both arms and visible. I went to a plastic surgeon about the scars and was told there is nothing that they could do at this point, due to the age of the scars. What are you supposed to do about this? Summer is here, and it will get hot. I am going to have to always wear something to cover my arms because I do not want my co-workers and new boss to see the scars. If they see them, they will automatically judge me, and I feel that it could affect my future and pay within the organization. I am so angry with myself that I did this to myself. I don’t SI anymore, I have healthier ways of dealing now, however, the scars remain. When things get really bad, instead of SI, I look to my past ED. Binge/purge. Exercise. And the constant voice in my head telling me how fat and ugly I am. I know that doing those things isn’t right either. I am waiting for my insurance to kick in so I can resume DBT, My psychiatrist highly recommends following through on the DBT. And I want to finish it.

It boils down to this….my anxiety is causing physical symptoms (chest pain, feeling like I can’t breath.) I have been on Klonopin, Ativan, Librium and Xanax. Currently taking Xanax at 1 mg twice daily as needed. This is not doing anything for me anymore. I have heard good things about Valium, why has my doc not tried this benzo? I know it’s a well known addictive substance, but aren’t they all?

If anyone, anyone can offer advice, please please help me.

Best to you on your new job!
I started my new job just after starting Lexapro and it has helped so much with the anxiety as well as depression. I haven't even Sied since I started (26 days now). I know that there were tons of triggers I would normally run out of the room from (working in a middle school, doing lunch duty, having angry boys storm past me and throwing things) and I have gotten through. I can tell the panic is there, but it is totally managable. Don't know if that info helps.

Have you tried scar cream? I've seen some in drug stores.
best to you!! Kiya

Hi.

1) There are many medications out there. Benzos can be highly addictive. However, that being said, they are also extremely helpful. I have used them for years for sleep and as anti-anxiety medications. You could try a Benzo with a longer half-life, so that you are only taking it once or twice a day. This perhaps reduces the chance for addiction.
Additionally, some of the newer anti-depressants also have the ability to reduce anxiety, including Lexapro. The mood stabilizer (actually it is a seizure med) Lamictal appears to also help with anxiety.

2) SI scars. Have you tried wearing gauze-like long sleeves over a nice summer blouse. I have the same problem, where my scars are all over my arms. Fortunately, I wear jackets and suits to work everyday, and a med coat over it. But when I am outside of work, I try and find lightweight material like gauze to wear.
If your scarring is bad, it is best to cover it. Especially, just starting a new job. It would probably cause more issues about your health than you need right now.
I am surpised that the plastic surgeon said that you could not be helped, because they do skin grafts on "burn" scars that are years old. Surgeries of that nature can take years.
I would get another opinion. They may not be able to do laser surgery to remove the scars, but there should be something that can be done. (It might cost more).
Also, usually surgeons will NOT do anything unless you have stopped SI.

Good luck with your new job.