Sometimes I wonder this...

Is there such thing as a positive therapy experience? Or is it just me?

One thing I have noticed since my therapy break, is that I still work on issues whether or not I see her. How do you totally take a break? I guess you really can't, issues have a way of rearing their ugly heads it seems. Sometimes I wish I could just be delusional about life and not even think about my problems... that would be freedom...

Originally Posted by exoticflower

Sometimes I wonder this...

Is there such thing as a positive therapy experience? Or is it just me?

I've been lucky I guess. I've been in therapy with three different people, and I've always found it to be a positive experience. My therapists have all been very intuitive about what I need. I've made slow but steady progress with each one. They have been respectful, patient, and quite honestly have grown to be really good friends. I still ocassionally call up or email my old therapists just to check on them and their families. We've kept in touch, but not in an over-bearing way. Yes, I'd say these have been positive therapy experiences.

[Mouse_]

Whether I am in therapy or not, I still had problems, accept I was all alone with my problems before, well not quite alone, always had a 6pack with me :-( But yes your right it does keep us alert in our minds but its more that I now know how to work through my problems a lot more adn they don't remain stuck..Sometimes I wonder if ignorance is bliss, then I hear some of the "ignorant" people around me, and I get my answer.

[peaches100]

I think we have the same problems without therapy. The difference is that, in therapy, people are trained to recognize, admit, feel, deal with the problems. This is PAINFUL, but ultimately enrich our lives down the road.

Out of therapy, people often fall back on a multitude of defense mechanisms with which we can deny, push away, fight against, rationalize, and/or try to self-medicate into oblivion. This approach is EASIER and hurts less, but we never directly confront our issues, move beyond our unhealthy coping mechanisms, and grow beyond them.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by peaches100

I think we have the same problems without therapy. The difference is that, in therapy, people are trained to recognize, admit, feel, deal with the problems. This is PAINFUL, but ultimately enrich our lives down the road.

Out of therapy, people often fall back on a multitude of defense mechanisms with which we can deny, push away, fight against, rationalize, and/or try to self-medicate into oblivion. This approach is EASIER and hurts less, but we never directly confront our issues, move beyond our unhealthy coping mechanisms, and grow beyond them.

Peaches this is excellent.
To this >>> This approach is EASIER and hurts less, but we never directly confront our issues, move beyond our unhealthy coping mechanisms, and grow beyond them
I might add: and we are probably more likely to spread our problems to others, or to pass them on to our next generation.

I think the therapy experience ultimately depends on the person and the attitude he/she brings into the sessions. I know people who would never be open to therapeutic insights. I'm at a place where I'm very interested in learning more about myself - I want to grow so I can be a better person. And I've lucked out in finding a good T. So for me, it's a positive experience so far.

my first therapy experience wasn't so good...but then again i had no clue what it was supposed to be either...now i am blessed with a great t and therapy is going well. i have mademuch more progress with her than i ever did with the other one in a 1/3 less time.

i think as with anything therapy is a combination of a game of chance and the amount of work you are willing to put into it. chance i the match of persona of patient and t, and where everyone is at the time of their lives, and how open everyone is to each otehr.

my t said at the first meeting we had that she had never treated anyone with my diagnosis...but that she was willing to try. she also said if i wasn't comfortable with that she would find someone who would treat me. that made me very comfortable...she was open enough to say that...i would think some t's might not have done so and just figured what the hell and charged ahead.

she has bent her "rules" for treatment for me and i have bent my expectation for her...so i think it is truly a 2 way street. both have to be willing to give and take.

i am happy with my t relationship...sure, its painful as hell at times...do i enjoy dredging up the memories that have left such scars on me? NO, but like it or not they are indeed a part of me, i might as well learn to manage them and work to make them adapt to best i can.

do i want them gone? NO. they are who i am. i am not proud of them...but they did shape me and gave birth to the wonderful system of peeps inside me so if t and her methods can help mefunction better than hey i'm all for it.

[sittingatwatersedge]

thanks Stumpy,

amazing, almost everything you wrote goes for me too.

someone at PC once said (about books) that the right one seems to turn up at the right time.

at our first meeting although I learned that my T had tons of training and experience, she also told me that what she saw in me was not in her area of specialty

I asked a wise Doc living far away from me whether he would recommend going with her and he said, "the therapeutic alliance is much more important than topic experience" . so, since she was so open with me, as yours was, and since she had turned up at the right time, I said yes - and have not regretted it. She has helped me so much!

Good comments everyone. I guess I am just questioning how do I move on when my first T was unethical with me, and then I lost the 2nd one due to his heath problems. I just want a normal experience or one that doesn't bring me so much pain, not so much what I am working on, but the pain of what the therapist causes because of them.
I am finding it so hard to trust my current T because of what has happened to me with other T's. Maybe it will just take me longer. With my 2nd T, I felt safe right away, but that isnt' happening with my T now. Maybe it has to do with her being a women or something because my abuser was my mom. I feel so lost or something.

hey...how did your speech comptetion thingie go????

as far as feeling comfortable with a t and trusting...i have no definitivie answer except what works for me...i too was abused by the mother from hell and the the t from hell...but yet i trust (as best as i can) this current t.

part of it i think must be the the desire to heal as well combined with the leap of faith into the abyss of trust. everybody has been injured in some way by someone...but yet we all go on (well most of us anyway) thinking that people are good natured and not out to screw us over.

i knew i had to find a t. my doc's said i had to find a t. so in true stumpy fashion i took the insurance approved list and looked at it until a name sounded nice and called there. talked to her. she sounded nice. 3 years later i'm still with her. intuition? 6th sense (seeing dead people? ) who knows.

it was a leap of faith. if she sounded abrupt or was mother theresa having a bad day well i might have gone elsewhere...who knows. but i ended up with her. same is true of her. i use humor...alot. she might have thought i was a fool. instead she has told me she laughed at what i said and then at my answering machine with the howling dogs.

anyway...i guess what i am trying to say...therapy and finding a t to trust has to be a leap of faith to some respect. you can't know if a person will be a great friend the moment you meet, so how can you know if the same will be true of a t.

it took many years for me to get as muddled as i am now..it will take some time to get unmuddled as the case may be...good t or not. hopefully less time with a good t....i liked the process to driving with AAA...i've never been to many places...but with a road map i'll get there sooner...without one...well who knows...i could get snatched up by aliens on the way. a t is like AAA...a road map to mental health.

ya gotta go out on a limb...gotta give it a shot. sometimes there are bad t's...just like bad people. but you can't focus on them...otherwise life sucks. i have been dumped on by bad people...many of them..parents, siblings, t's etc...but if i dwell on it them i let them win and i lose precious time...and i don't want to do that...then they win.

t's are like people...oh wait...they are people...my bad! some are good, some bad & some are just out there waiting for the right person to come along.

so...that's my convoluted take on this