[krazibean]

Hi everyone! First i want to say that i hope everyone is doing well. I check in once and awhile and read your posts, but i don't always get a chance to reply. I just want you all to know that even though i may not be here i'm still thinking about you <3

Sooo I have a question regarding my own therapy that i was hoping you guys could help me with. I see my T twice a week...not because i'm not doing well, but because I always do so much better when i have that connection every couple days. The hard part is, when i'm doing well, there isn't much to talk about sometimes. I had a session with T recently where we kinda just sat there, and because of my non-present mood, we didn't really find anything to talk about. She said that she doesn't think i need to come twice a week because i'm doing well and therefore there is not much going on for us to talk about. Long story short, i got emotional when she said that because i'm not ready to cut it down yet. It is a goal, but i'm not ready for it. So we decided to continue the twice a week thing until i feel ready to challenge myself.

My question to everyone is... I want to form a "plan B". something we can always fall back on if i go in to session in a not-so-good place, feeling dissociated and disconnected, and also have nothing really specific going on to talk about. I want something therapeutic that she and i can do together, that can be kinda ongoing, like a project, that we can always go back to. Something that will help me get grounded, re-focus, and most importantly, leave feeling connected with T. Because on the sessions when there isn't much to talk about i feel disconnected, and therefore i leave feeling upset. So i was wondering if anyone had suggestions????

[Dinah]

I don't have an answer, but I'd be interested in hearing what answers you discover. I was talking about this very thing with my therapist today. We've come up with one or two ideas that would not be generalizable apart from us, but I think it's an issue that will come up again.

At one time, I bought the "Ungame" with his permission, and it still is on our "if all else fails" list. But we'd both prefer not to rely on aides to spice up our sessions if we can help it. Although sometimes I wonder what would happen if we just sat on the floor and played Jenga or something. I have a feeling that it might provoke sessions that are a bit different than sitting properly in chair sessions.

I also made a set of flashcards of the big issues in my life. The idea was that on occasion I would reach into the envelope and choose a card at random to delve into something that might not ordinarily come up in conversation. They're out of date now, but it might be worth considering again.

[Mouse_]

Kazibean, I'm not sure why your T feels theres no more to talk about? I mean we could keep going to therapy for ever and still find stuff to work on? The sitting in silence doesn't mean you've got nothing to say, in psychoanalytical therapy the silence is of itself something to say. Sounds like your T has reach her professional wall and is wanting you to make her easier for her? I'd find someone else quite frankly.

[sunrise]

My T has said before that I don't need to come in and share problems in my life every time. That sometimes therapy is about sharing the good parts of one's life, the successes, etc. The T can help you define further goals in your life, parts of yourself you want to develop, and will hear your progress on these things, etc. There can still be lots to talk about even if one is "doing well."

I hear some interesting contradiction in your post. On the one hand, you say you don't have much to say in therapy when you are "doing well." On the other hand, you also characterize these times as ones where you are dissociative and disconnected and in a "not so good place." How can you simultaneously be "doing well" and in a "not so good place." Interesting! Could this be worth exploring with your T?

Things to do when you have no problems to discuss:
--share the good times and successes and evidence of progress toward your goals
--share thoughts and reflections about a thought-provoking book you are reading
--share a dream
--share a poem you have written and what it means
--share a movie you saw recently and how it made you feel
--share a drawing/painting you have done and what it means

For example, there is this book I am reading how and it is bringing up a lot for me. I would like to share this with T.

My daughter's therapist does art therapy with her sometimes. They have had several ongoing projects they work on together in therapy. One was making a table and decorating it. Other times they build things together--fantastical lands of blocks and bridges and jewels and feathers and stones.