[cmac13]

Does anyone ever feel like they continue to screw up in their sessions and not talk about what you need to talk about? Does anyone ever feel like there are no words for what you are feeling and so you just sit and stare at your therapist in the session? I feel like there is so much going on inside of me and I cannot find the words to verbalize it all. Does anyone evrer feel like they frustrate there therapist and are you ever afraid that the therapist is going to say this is not working and get rid of you? Lousy session yesterday...

[sunrise]

I'm sorry it was a rough session. Those happen.

Originally Posted by cmac13

Does anyone evrer feel like they frustrate there therapist and are you ever afraid that the therapist is going to say this is not working and get rid of you?

Sometimes when I am stuck it helps to talk about that. So instead of talking about the important issue, we talk about how I would like to share this important issue, but can't. Sometimes that helps me get unstuck. T will ask why I can't share, what is stopping me, and we will march through my reasons and explore my reluctance. There have been some good sessions doing that, and sometimes T is able to reassure me about my fears. Like once I didn't want to share some yucky stuff with him because it seemed too awful and I didn't want to give him that kind of burden and horrible stuff to hear. He was able to reassure me about that, that he had training to be able to handle what I might tell him, that he had heard many horrific things from clients and had handled them well, that I would not shock or horrify him, etc. So that's my suggestion--just share with your T that you are stuck, that you would like to talk about some important things but feel unable to. You will probably end up having a good discussion, and it will bring you closer to being able to share what you want to. I think an important thing to tell her is that you are worried she will drop you if you don't open up. You really need reassurance from her on that--it could be contributing to your holding back.

Hang in there. Therapy is hard!

I second what Sunny said. Talking about not being able to talk is usually a good first step for me when I need to get into something difficult. It doesn't always happen right away...we talk about why it's hard, and then I may not bring it up for quite a while. But somewhere in my subconscious, the wheels must be turning, because we usually manage to get there eventually.

I doubt your therapist is frustrated with you, cmac. I have had that fear too, but my therapist tells me that he knows how hard it is to talk about things, and that I am brave just for showing up. So are you.

[fallenangel337]

This is actually currently happening to me. I have something that I REALLY need to talk to T about, but I can never find the words to do it...it's such a sensitive topic that involves a LOT of TMI, so I really don't know how to approach it, and quite honestly, I feel awkward/embarrassed doing so.

I like everyone's idea...maybe if I talk to her about why it's so hard, it will make it easier. Maybe my mind just needs the verbal reassurance.

[TrespassersWill]

Yep a lot of my sessions are like that where I don't know what to talk about or else I don't want to talk. Usually I come up with something to say. But sometimes it gets awkward silent where I sit there just wondering what the heck to say and I hate those times when its like that.

[mixedup_emotions]

This is another reason that I start journaling issues...and even write up a checklist of topics that I feel need to be addressed. It holds me accountable to make the most out of my session.

It might not work for everybody, but it works well for me.

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

This is another reason that I start journaling issues...and even write up a checklist of topics that I feel need to be addressed. It holds me accountable to make the most out of my session.

I do the same thing - I have an ever-changing and growing list of issues I want to discuss called "next time". I don't take it with me, but I do review it before I go. And then I always feel such a sense of accomplishment when I check off items on the list that we've discussed. Plus, discussing those items on the list always leads to other discussions of issues that aren't on the list, so it's a win-win.

[del12]

Even though I feel I am making progress with therapy I know deep down there are some issues that have been skirted over very lightly but need to be addressed. I am so scared and I think embarrassed to go to those places. I know my T is nonjudgemental and would help me but I just keep avoiding. I can almost sense when my T is trying to lead the conversation to those areas and I just almost without thought stop sharing. I feel like such a failure in those areas of my life and there is something deep down I fear if we go there. I sure wish I knew what is was.
I use to think that my T was frustrated with me and wanted to drop me so we talked about it and my T said that it wasn't frustration or that they didn't want to work with me it was just that sometimes my T gets frustrated with their own inability to break through the wall and that there are times the pain I show is hard to watch. Wow what empathy my T has. My T is so strong and sensitive my needs. I guess I am lucky to have the T I do. I am finding therapy is a long hard road but there are rewards along the way and it is those little rewards that make it all worth it. Hang in there.