Do you observe the surroundings of T room?

I ask this question because I have been seeing my therapist for almost 7 months now and before she went on vacation she offered me a stone from her fountain in the room.

In all the time I have been seeing her, the dang fountain was right there at the right side of the chair I sit in between my chair and the door on an end table, and I never knew it was there. That is how nervous I must be when I go to sessions.

I know that there are three chairs in there, one in each corner the only corner without one is the corner where the door is. Its a small office. Between each chair is an end table. There is a small table clock on the end table to the left of my T, this I know because I look at that to keep track of time.

There is also a table clock on the end table to right of my T as well because I have seen her look at it once or twice. Then right between her and the table to the right of her, there is a rack with a blanket on it against the wall. Thats all I know, don't know what color the carpet is, what hangs on the wall ect...I literally spend the whole time fidgeting with my hands and only looking at her occasionally.

I only just now realized that I don't pay attention to that surrounding. The strange thing is I really study people. Movements, actions ect...You would think I would know the whole room by now. Not sure why I haven't noticed more.

Do any of you pay attention to what's around you in your T room?

I usually don't pay attention, because I'm always nervous. But I do like to look out the window sometimes. Actually, now that I think about it, I'm not really sure what I look at while we're talking. I think I tend to look through objects instead of at them, though. Like, I will look at the book case, but I won't really focus on it. And I'll stare at the floor a lot, too.

Interesting thread

Only you can prevent neurotypical jerkiness!

I don't focus on it per se, but I can recall it. I don't need to really focus on something to have a vivid mental picture of it. So yea, I could spout out right now almost everything T has in her office, and where it is.

There is poetry in despair.



Love attracts all those who taint the cherished.

I didn't focus on my T's office surroundings at first, but twice now my T has had me go into her office before our session started, while she ran down the hall to the bathroom, so that gave me a great opportunity to just sit and take everything in! Plus, another time, my T was looking for a book for me, and I noticed that all her books were color-coded - I told her mine would've been alphabetized, and she said that would make it easier to find a book because she couldn't find the one she wanted to lend me!

There is some interesting artwork on the walls that I wonder if it came from patients. And there are kids' artwork hanging up - my T shares her office with her husband, who works with kids.

I know my T's office pretty well now, but I've been there 20 months. She does often send me ahead of her so I get ample time to look around. But i couldn't tell you the pattern of the throw rug nor the carpet.
My guess is that you study people for safety? So you can know in advance if there is going to be some subtle change that clues you in?

Now that you mention it, no. I have a rudimentary idea of what his offices look like but I usually choose two to three things to stare at during session and rarely waver from them (I rarely make eye contact and he tells me I dissociate).

I know certain parts of T's office REALLY well - things I tend to stare at to avoid things or to get regrounded (stare at the carpet to avoid, stare at a painting on his wall to get regrounded). His blinds FREAK ME OUT and I always seem to be looking at them when I dissociate/switch. I try to just not look at them now, they seem to be a HUGE trigger for me (and one whole wall - the one his chair is by - is this huge window covered by the blinds - eeek).

My Teen on the other hand is VERY VERY observant and has gone as far as (I kid you not) laying on the floor and LOOKING UNDER THE COUCH AND CHAIRS (where she found my old lip balm once lolol). She notices things I would NEVER notice - that he had oil lamp candles (we lit one), that he has a video camera under his desk for a training he is doing, etc. So, since she's started showing up, we've noticed a lot more of his office.

I wonder if any of his other clients have EVER layed on the floor and looked under the couch. I know it made perfect sense to teen when she did that, but typing this now, I'm feeling like

I know where everything is. I can always point out when something is different. I know her office like I know my own bedroom. I've even memorized the scene happening outside of her window. Only thing I make an effort to ignore is what is open on her desk.

Tree - your T keeps a video camera under his desk ?!

LOL! I know! I was like myself. But he had to tape a session with a couple for a couples training he was doing - and the session he was taping was later on the day he was seeing me. It's not usually there

Hangingon, reading your post made me laugh. I am the same way. Somethings I remember with incredible detail others I just totally miss. I remember after about 5 months of therapy a good friend who knew I had gone to therapy, asked me a question about my T. Afterwards I thought,'If I saw my T outside of therapy I don't know it I would event recognize her.' At that point, although I could mentally replay, rewind, fast forward my therapy sessions in incredible detail...I could not visualize what my T looked like. After that even I when to the next session and make sure I looked and recorded this information because I felt bad about not recording it. Here is another instant. Last Christmas was the first time I thought to give my T a small gift. It was a drawing of a figure that represented the authentic me. Surround me were animals that represented people in my life. My T was represented as a dove. After I gave it to her, I got up to leave. And saw for the first time on the wall behind my head what looked like a handmade (childish-looking but artistic) slat plate with a stenciled dove on it. When I saw it I was like holy-**** some other child experienced her in the same way. I couldn't believe I had been there a year and never noticed that plate. At least not consciously anyway.

That's neat, chaotic!

I notice whenever anything changes in T's office, even when he adds a new book to his shelf.

oh no, I am oblivious apparently. like last time when I was rummaging in my bag for a tissue and T handed me one, from the table by her chair, and said, "oh and there is a box on the table there, right at your elbow" - I turned and saw it for the first time. for all I know it has been there forever.

SAWE, I think it can be good to be oblivious like that! My T seems to move around her box of tissues, maybe depending on where the patient before me was sitting. Every time I see that darn box, I get mad because I think how I'd like to use those tissues, but my tears never come!

((((((((((((((( dreamseeker ))))))))))))))))))

ohhhh...don't get mad dear. That day I mentioned was only the second time, in 20 months, when I even reached for one.... and who knows, I may never be able to cry again (although heaven knows, there is need).

Try to be patient with yourself; if you need to cry, it will come one day. Fighting is so HARD - I should know. if OK, here is a hug from me

It is hard indeed. And yesterday, I talked about some heavy material that I thought for sure would get me crying - I came close, but no tears, I always stop the tears. But yes, it will come one day, because I do know that I need to cry. Thanks!

um..... not to of course, but.....

how do you know? lol

LOL - because I CHECK!!

In the beginning I was too nervous to notice anything also! But then I memorized the room. Now, I notice when one little thing has changed or is out of place (remember when he changed the rug?) I know the picture across from me where I sit on the couch. I even know many of the book titles. I know where the crayons are kept, etc., etc., etc.,

I dont' like it when he changes things and he's talking about getting a new couch! I LOVE THE COUCH. IT FITS ME. LOLOL

Unlike the assprint chair..LOL