[Figuring It Out]

Just looking for your opinions......

What do you look for in a good T?

I think it really depends on what you want the relationship to look like. I consider my T a good T because she lets me take therapy at my own pace, yet she knows how to gently nudge me along when I'm stuck. She's very kind and patient, yet she also does reality checks once in awhile when my thinking can be a bit irrational. She's very good with dream interpretation, which I love, because I tend to have very vivid dreams. And she's a very good listener - she's very present in the room with me, I know that I have her undivided attention, and she's been very attuned to my feelings from the start - I don't know how she does that so well, but she does!

Good luck if you are searching for a T! It took me a few tries before I found this one, she's a keeper.

hi figuring and welcome. there have been some good discussions about this topic here that really helped me out. i think finding someone with a strong sense of empathy is quite important. the other thing that many here mentioned was finding someone who you feel is a good fit for you. someone you feel comfortable with and gel with. the relationship with the t is really important so if you don't feel a connection with the person then it's hard to find healing in therapy. the type of therapy the t practices can be important too if you feel a particular type would be more helpful to you.

[phoenix7]

Someone who listens and doesnt judge
who guides me in the right direction - gives me a gentle push but doesnt shove
someone who I can trust
my T is kind and caring
can be firm when needed
doesnt let me get away with things (like changing the subject)
gives me feedback
doesnt think any question is stupid
says I can call in between sessions if i need help ( I only call if really in trouble)
gives me homework in between sessions
lets me take it at my own pace
lets me say no i cant discuss that if i really cant
but will come back to it at another session and see if I can discuss it then

dont know if this helps....

take care P7

[jacq10]

Authenticity.

I simply cannot tell someone my inner-most feelings and struggles without them being able to truly be present and emphasize in what I'm saying. I don't need someone sitting there spitting out different theories and/or approaches we could take in a mechanical transaction. To me, a HUGE part of therapy is that relationship-building and development of trust... and that can't be developed unless both partners are authentic in what they are communicating.

Originally Posted by Figuring It Out

Just looking for your opinions......

What do you look for in a good T?

I think it's one of the hardest things to do.
But it is necessary.
It's a trial and error thing.
If like them.
If you think they are qualified to help you.
What you expect from them.
I would ask directly if THEY think they are qualified.

Otherwise NEVER give up. Like with everything thing else I have to keep trying to we get the shoes to fit.

[fallenangel337]

I consider mine a good T because she lets me take things at my own pace. Like others here have said, she'll give me a gentle push if I need it, but she always knows when the right and wrong times to push are. She's nonjudgmental. She's not afraid to tell me something that maybe I don't want to hear. She's gentle about it, but she'll tell me the truth no matter what. I love how I can come to her about absolutely anything and know that she's there to help. She's extremely trustworthy, and she would tell you...coming from me, that's saying A LOT! (I have some major trust issues) She always hears what I'm saying...and she understands. And if for a a second she doesn't, she will clarify until she does. The way it usually happens, I'll tell her something, and before I get to the feelings part, she'll tell ME what I'm feeling. She just really gets it. She's extrememly present with me...she doesn't wander around in lala land. She gives me positive reinforcement all of the time. She is never hesitant to tell me that I'm doing good work in therapy, and she often tells me how she is proud of me for something I have done. That helps me a lot. And most of all, we just connect very, very well! Deep down, i feel like we're almsot the same person in a way. Our appearances are quite different, but it's what inside that counts.

Like dreamseeker said, I've found a keeper.

I think that's great - fallenangel337!

[fallenangel337]

Originally Posted by starlite*111

I think that's great - fallenangel337!

Thank you! I wouldn't trade her for ANY other T in the world.

[dolphinmkr44]

I look for someone who I can trust, will let me talk and give me feedback, and most importantly, someone that I can contact if I would need too. Those are the big things for me. Good luck.