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dwfieldjr
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Default Aug 27, 2014 at 08:09 AM
  #41
Are there work sheets so we can practice memorizing that.
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Default Aug 27, 2014 at 08:34 PM
  #42
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Perna, we'll have to agree to disagree! I know for a fact that I've been a fool and a loser in the past. This is a harsh judgement to make, but it's very, very true. And what you said about it not helping me? Wrong! It has helped me tremendously!! It motivated me to change when nothing else could. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. It's hard, it's ugly. Nothing will ever change that. And yes, some people are fools and losers. The person who keeps committing a mistake despite knowing that it'll adversely affect them in the future? That person is a fool. Despite how anyone may try to disguise this fact behind fancy terminology, a fool is a fool. A particular action does not a fool make? Does not the act of murder make that person a murderer? I rest my case. Enjoy my mistakes? So I should enjoy the mistake I made that cost my youngest brother his life? And don't tell me I wasn't to blame for my brother's death, you don't know anything about it. Many others, although well-meaning, have tried to convince me I wasn't to blame, but the plain fact is that I am!! This is a brutal truth to face, but it is a truth nonetheless, a cold, hard fact, as incontrovertible as the fact that rocks are hard, that the sky is blue. I don't run from harsh realities, I face them. It makes it easier for me to see what needs to be changed in my life. Not that making those changes is easy, but at least I know in no uncertain terms what I need to deal with. Perna, you have a certain way of viewing things. I don't tell you that you're wrong. Don't tell me I'm wrong!!!
Maybe for you, you really have done things that screwed things up....or have knowingly repeated mistakes and all that. However for a lot of people their problems don't really come down to mistakes they've made or not trying to fix things or whatever. Also there are mental conditions that can interfere with ones ability to cope with some harsh realities...Just the way it is, but not everyones experience is the same what is true for you may not be true for everyone else.

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Default Aug 27, 2014 at 08:40 PM
  #43
Some of that stuff makes sense to me, but then there is a lot that just doesn't really describe my issues. Like I don't really think in black and white, shades of grey are my style...I do try to see the bright side of things(much of the time without success). I realize I have not failed at every single thing and obviously do some things right since some people care and will spend time with me but I still feel like crap about myself. I guess for me the depression is more of a feeling than a flawed thought process...I mean don't get me wrong sometimes my thinking does resemble some of what was described, though its not always a distortion...without any distortions my life isn't to great and doesn't seem likely to improve I don't think that is me being negative I think its realistic. But it feels like no matter how much I might try to view a situation differently, look at the brightside and all that stuff the painful depressed feeling is still there. Sort of difficult to explain.

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Default Oct 28, 2014 at 01:54 PM
  #44
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Originally Posted by dwfieldjr View Post
Are there work sheets so we can practice memorizing that.
Good idea. Those are overwhelming in volume and complexity to me and I think to people like me who need time and practice activities to understand them and work with them effectively. Worksheets, games, quizzes, etc., based on the concepts and details would be so valuably helpful!!!
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Default Nov 01, 2014 at 05:57 PM
  #45
Any of these books by Dr. David Burns, M.D., can be helpful and they're full of work sheets, quizzes and exercises.

Books | Feeling Good

I've personally used Feeling Good and Intimate Connections and highly recommend them. Feeling Good is especially helpful for depression and anxiety and Intimate Connection is great for shyness, meeting people, making friends and dating.

The information is laid out in a way that assists progress. I copied some of the worksheets and used them on a regular basis and somesychtimes I wrote directly in the book in pencil. If I begin to feel low or shy again, I pick up these books and starting reading and doing the worksheets. It really helps.
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Default Nov 04, 2014 at 03:23 PM
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Originally Posted by SnakeCharmer View Post
Any of these books by Dr. David Burns, M.D., can be helpful and they're full of work sheets, quizzes and exercises.

Books | Feeling Good

I've personally used Feeling Good and Intimate Connections and highly recommend them. Feeling Good is especially helpful for depression and anxiety and Intimate Connection is great for shyness, meeting people, making friends and dating.

The information is laid out in a way that assists progress. I copied some of the worksheets and used them on a regular basis and somesychtimes I wrote directly in the book in pencil. If I begin to feel low or shy again, I pick up these books and starting reading and doing the worksheets. It really helps.
Did u get the ebooks or the paperbacks
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Default Nov 05, 2014 at 12:53 AM
  #47
I have a hardback copy of Feeling Good and paperback copy of Intimate Connections. Whatever book type you enjoy most would work.
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Default Nov 05, 2014 at 12:57 AM
  #48
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I have a hardback copy of Feeling Good and paperback copy of Intimate Connections. Whatever book type you enjoy most would work.
I got the ebook version. Problem was when I used a Sharpie to fill in the worksheets...
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Default Feb 26, 2015 at 08:58 PM
  #49
I have to mention that I've sort of always known of such "distortion" types and when I met with Burns' book I hem-hawed it.


That was until I was able to separate myself from these distortions. My issue was that I was so consumed with one or more of these 10 at any given time that I couldn't "back up" and see it. I separated myself using meds...I had never used meds before and considered them as crutches for the "weak". Well, meds in my case simply help my brain take a pause. Before I react to things now I take a pause think about it and then decide what to do. Now, this distortions list is near me always and as I prepare to act or react to things I skim the list and look for pitfalls.


One more trick, as if you asked me: I've been journaling for three years now and I use that many times to write into my journal my immediate reactions or thoughts to something and then its "out of me". After that I seem to decide a little better.


I would suggest that this list stays in your purse, planner, wallet, whatever. and before or as these feelings come, grab that list. At least you'll pause to read it.
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Default Jun 28, 2015 at 08:58 PM
  #50
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Here are the basic distortions. They aren't a "therapy" to use and then forget... but habits of thinking that we need to "check' ourselves on for "life." Following this is a list of how to "untwist" such thinking. Good wishes!

1) ALL OR NOTHING THINKING

2) OVER-GENERALIZATION

3) MENTAL FILTER

4) DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE

5) JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS:

6) MAGNIFICATION (CASTASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION

7) EMOTIONAL REASONING

8) SHOULD STATEMENTS

9) LABELING AND MISLABELING

10) PERSONALIZATION
I suffer from every single one of these twisted patterns of thinking. Every single one.

GAD/OCD/SAD sufferer my whole life. This must go hand in hand with these disorders - Which I believe all stem from a low self esteem.

I've been tortured by this brain of mine for 30 something years now and am out of ideas of what to do.
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Default Oct 09, 2015 at 05:12 PM
  #51
oh yes!!!!
my therapist taught me the cognitive distortions in counseling . at times she would catch herself doing one of these cognitive distortions too. she would catch me doing them too in counseling .



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Default Feb 11, 2016 at 08:29 PM
  #52
CBT - which this is from - has been very helpful
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Default Mar 24, 2016 at 12:44 PM
  #53
Thanks a lot lot lot JD for that list

Yes, definitely, I think I get those distortions like 90% of the time I have to interact with human beings

Having a kind of a checklist of them is really helpful. But I would even need more some techniques on how to train myself to stop thinking like this.

Since I'm obsessive, sometimes, no, actually, most of the times, I can recognize the distortions I've got, but the problem is the ideas keep persisting, even though I know I should stop thinking them, but they keep paralyzing me, & I can't help but act on them

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Default Mar 24, 2016 at 03:24 PM
  #54
On the other hand... if you're just bad... you're just bad...

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Default May 05, 2016 at 12:49 AM
  #55
I love you. lol

In all seriousness, thanks for the amazing post, I love it.
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Default May 13, 2016 at 03:42 PM
  #56
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On the other hand... if you're just bad... you're just bad...
I am not quite sure that is true. See the 'all or nothing'/'black and white thinking'.
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Default May 24, 2016 at 05:31 AM
  #57
Another common one, if not already listed under a different name, is a confirmation bias. We are taught in methodology that science is about trying to disprove statements with facts. But that is really counter-intuitive, because people are actually inclined to look for supportive evidence.
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Default Sep 13, 2016 at 08:51 PM
  #58
Part of my CBTand extremely helpful. I work on a log/sheet once per week.
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Default Nov 26, 2016 at 09:11 PM
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Here are the basic distortions. They aren't a "therapy" to use and then forget... but habits of thinking that we need to "check' ourselves on for "life." Following this is a list of how to "untwist" such thinking. Good wishes!

1) ALL OR NOTHING THINKING

2) OVER-GENERALIZATION

3) MENTAL FILTER

4) DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE

5) JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS:

6) MAGNIFICATION (CASTASTROPHIZING) OR MINIMIZATION

7) EMOTIONAL REASONING

8) SHOULD STATEMENTS

9) LABELING AND MISLABELING

10) PERSONALIZATION


Explanations:
1) You see things in black or white categories. If your effort or performance falls short of "perfect" you see yourself as a total failure. This "either-or" thinking habit may result in self-recrimination or anxiety.

2) You view a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat. For example, you think that a friends' inconsiderate response means that there is no caring for you, even when there have been other examples of consideration.

3) You pick out single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your perception becomes distorted. For example, a person focuses on one negative comment and ignores any of more neutral or positive feedback.

4) You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or another. In this way, you maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences. For instance, you don't believe a compliment because you think it is said just to be nice.

5) You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts to support your conclusion.
a.) MIND READING You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you, and don't bother to check it out. "I just know he/she thought I was an idiot." even though he/she acted nicely.

b) THE FORTUNE TELLER ERROR: You anticipate that things will turn out badly, and you feel that, "I just know I am not going to get the job I want."

6) You exaggerate the importance of things (such as your goof-up or someone else's achievement) or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny (your own desireable qualities or the other person's imperfections.)

7) You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are: "I feel it, therefore it must be true."

8) You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "shouldn't" , as if you have to be whippped and punished before you could be expected to do anything. "Musts" and "oughts" are also issues. The emotional result is feeling guilty.

9) This is an extreme example of over-generalization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself: "I'm a loser."

10.) You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event for which in fact you were not primarily responsible.

*adapted from Burns


HOW TO UNTWIST YOUR THINKING:

This comes from Dr David Burns and is in his book "The Feeling Good Handbook, revised edition."

1
IDENTIFY THE DISTORTION
Write down your negative thoughts so you can see in which of the 10 cognitive distortions you're involved. This will make it easier to think about the problem in a more positive and realistic way.

2 EXAMINE THE EVIDENCE Instead of assuming that your negative thought is true, examine the actual evidence for it. For example, if you feel that you never do anything right, you could list several things you have done successfully.

3 THE DOUBLE-STANDARD METHOD Instead of putting yourself down in a harsh, condemning way, talk to yourself in the same
compassionate way you would talk to a friend with a similar problem.

4 THE EXPERIMENTAL TECHNIQUE Do an experiment to test the validity of your negative thought. For example, if, during an episode of panic, you become terrified that you're about to die of a heart attack, you could jog or run up and down several flights of stairs. This will prove that your heart is healthy and strong.

5 THINKING IN SHADES OF GRAY Although this method might sound drab, the effects can be illuminating. Instead of thinking about your problems in all-or-nothing extremes, reevaluate things on a range from 0 to 100. When things don't work out as well as you hoped, think about the experience as a partial success rather than a complete falure. See what you can learn from the situation.

6. THE SURVEY METHOD
Ask people questions to find out if your thoughts and attitudes are realistic. For example, if you believe that public speaking anxiety is abnormal and shameful, ask several friends if they ever felt nervous before they gave a talk.

7. DEFINE TERMS When you label yourself "inferior" or "a fool" or "a loser," ask, "What is the definition of 'a fool'?" You will feel better when you see that there is no such thing as "a fool" or "a loser."

8. THE SEMANTIC METHOD Simply substitute language that is less colorful and emotionally loaded. This method is helpful for "should statements." Instead of telling yourself "I shouldn't have made that mistake," you can say, "It would be better if I hadn't made that mistake."

9. RE-ATTRIBUTION Instead of automatically assuming that you are "bad" and blaming yourself entirely for a problem, think about the many factors that may have contributed to it. Focus on solving the problem instead of using up all your energy blaming yourself and feeling guilty.

10. COST-BENEFIT ANALYSIS List the advantages and disadvantages of a feeling (like becoming angry when your plane is late,) a negative thought (like "No matter how hard I try, I always mess up, ") or a behavior pattern (like overeating and lying around in bed when you're depressed.) You can also use the Cost-Benefit Analysis to modify a self-defeating belief such as, "I must always try to be perfect."

As I've stated before, these methods are not something to be tried once or twice and dispensed, but are good skills to be ongoing in your life with day to day checking and adjusting. Good wishes! drjean
Wow. All I can say is wow. That is fantastic and it's fresh to read. Kinda like reading myself on many aspects and struggles I have. I hope to be able to use this when my focus is really off but I can see where this is conditioning the thought process that I hope can prevent things from getting out of control. It can be torturous some times. Thank you. This actually sounds like some that may work.
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Default Nov 26, 2016 at 09:13 PM
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Yes, thanks.
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