[chaotic13]

Mine is to feel comfortable, productive, and happy just being me. Recently, I've been thinking just being me means that I am living my life without pharmacutical enhancement. Unfortunately, I'm finding being med free particularly challenging at the moment. Maybe my goal of eventually living all natural and feeling comfortable was unrealistic.

Just curious if others have living comfortably in the physical form God uniquely designed for you as a end goal for therapy?

I think my ultimate therapy goal is to be able to be PRESENT in my life. Free of the constant fear that I have lived with my entire life. To be able to just relax, and be, without having to stay busy all the time to avoid my feelings. To be able to have feelings and accept them, without have to use bad coping skills to get away from them. To be able to feel and accept love from the people around me who love me.

Strangely, that's pretty much the list I gave to T at my first appointment, and I had just kind of come up with it off the top of my head when he asked. I didn't realize how much work it was going to be to reach that goal. But I still want to get there.

[Christina86]

Originally Posted by chaotic13

Just curious if others have living comfortably in the physical form God uniquely designed for you as a end goal for therapy?

I like that! I think I want to make that my goal now. I don't know what my goal is... I'd like to wake up "cured" but we know that won't happen.

[chaotic13]

To feel and accept love...nice treehouse. I'd like believe deep down in my core that I'm worth loving.

Christina...so what would "cured" look and feel like?

[BlueMoon6]

Chaotic- Comfortable, productive and happy being yourself sound like great goals.
But I sure would like to wake up "cured"

I have never come to therapy with a list of goals. But it is a good idea. Probably b/c the list would be too vague or long. If I did have a list I guess it would include what I have wanted my entire life. Ever since I can remember......

I want to feel like I belong on this earth. That when I wake up in the morning I look forward to my day and feel that there is a place for me here. That I am a whole, integrated person who can love the people in my life. That my mind is not in pieces. That I can play or even talk with my children without feeling the pain of not being happy enough to play as a child myself. To be able to feel normally- not either overwhelmed or numb. That my emotions are not out of control, that I am in control and I dont hurt people. To understand and really feel that I am loved and not alone (that is a hard one).

And a big one would be that I dont hurt myself- Im not just talking about cutting, but with food, too. I dont have high hopes of EVER completely recovering from my eating disorder, but I'd like to have some peace with food.

I could ramble on...and on....I really never thought I knew what I wanted until I just wrote that...

[skeksi]

Originally Posted by chaotic13

Mine is to feel comfortable, productive, and happy just being me.

Originally Posted by treehouse

To be able to just relax, and be, without having to stay busy all the time to avoid my feelings. To be able to have feelings and accept them, without have to use bad coping skills to get away from them. To be able to feel and accept love from the people around me who love me.

These goals resonate with me a LOT

When I first started therapy, my goal was to "be normal." That is, to get rid of all the things I felt made me 'weird' and 'different.' Now when I talk about goals, though, I mostly want to be okay with myself. To be weird and different and to accept that, to love it, even. I'm realizing that perhaps rather than changing myself, what I really want to do is change how I see myself. And seeing myself with love and compassion is a whole lot nicer than seeing myself with loathing and contempt.

[hangingon]

I just want to be happy, to know that I have a purpose; to learn to love myself, which sounds so far fetched right now. If I could only believe what my T and others say about me.
As tree said, I would like to not have to keep busy so as to avoid my emotions. I'd like to be able to just BE...and to be content with that.
I would also like to be able to have intimate relationships with my friends, not just surface level relationships due to my lack of trust.

[Trying & Caring]

Therapy is helping me a lot (individual & DBT) to learn new coping skills, stress reduction, more effective communication skills & feeling joy in my daily life. I have been able to get off Abilify, lower my Lamictal from 300mg to 100mg currently & hope to get off it completely. No longer taking heavy duty sedating meds as EMDR (same therapist) has effectively gotten rid of my long-term insomnia. Not taking Klonopin every night to help me sleep, but only as needed (maybe once every 2 weeks & was taking Xanax or Klonopin every night for about 25 yrs.).

Meds provider is amazed at how well I’m doing & all for me working towards lowering dosages or getting off meds, if I’m willing to consider returning to them if I develop problems—which I did when I needed to go up to 200mg of Lamictal for about 6 weeks & now back down to 100 mg.

Originally Posted by chaotic13

Mine is to feel comfortable, productive, and happy just being me. Recently, I've been thinking just being me means that I am living my life without pharmacutical enhancement. Unfortunately, I'm finding being med free particularly challenging at the moment. Maybe my goal of eventually living all natural and feeling comfortable was unrealistic.

Just curious if others have living comfortably in the physical form God uniquely designed for you as a end goal for therapy?

[~EnlightenMe~]

Being compulsive and having otherwise strong emotions makes it near impossible to know what it's like being "happy". Happiness to me is being relieved of anxiety right now, but I don't think that is really happiness. I want to get used to having normal emotions -- if that's possible. I want to figure out who I am so I know what to pursue. I want to be whole.

[Melbadaze]

Not sure about what "God" meant for me, as I don't believe in that. I think having spent my entire life without adequate care and love, I didn't know what I wanted, all I knew was I hurt and was afraid and didn't want to feel like this anymore, didnt have the understanding to have goals as such, do now though, and getting that warm fuzzy, content, wanted feeling inside is about the best bit!

[pachyderm]

Emotional-health perfection!

[deliquesce]

lol, pachy. you always cheer me up with your posts .

i seem to be a bit on the outer, because i have really really specific goals, and timelines (immediate, short-, mid- & long term) on when to achieve them. there isn't anything "ultimate" to them - they're all part of the process.

eventually, of course, i guess my therapy goal is to be able to graduate and not need therapy anymore .

i have different views on "God's unique creation" and the use of medication, but that is probably just specific to my condition. just like God created me to be so short sighted i needed glasses from age 2 (oh yeah, i was the kid who got bullied at preschool - set up to be a nerd from day 1, LOL), he also created me to have a disorder that kicked in and needs meds to keep in check. i think he would be confused if i refused to wear glasses, and i think he would be confused if i refused medication. of course, i wouldn't continue to wear glasses if i woke up one day with 20/20 vision and the same goes for my depression, but given that both are unlikely (unless divine intervention takes place), i'm quite okay with taking meds for the rest of my life if need be. it's certainly not a goal of mine to stop using them, but if i find myself in a place one day where i dont require them anymore, then i obviously wouldn't continue .

[Tumnus]

Hate goals! Could only get out supposed goals for insurance purposes because T wrote them in that form from things we talked about. They tried to make me set goals in the hospital and I flat out refused, minus one goal that had a swear word in it because I was so pissed at feeling forced into making a goal. That being said, what I would most like to see happen in therapy is to get to a place where I know that I can get through a winter without coming close to being locked up for my own safety. And that I'd stop hating myself and certain others. But no goals. Just hopes, or dreams, or wishes.

[chaotic13]

Tumnus I don't like setting goals when forced to do so by someone else. The goals in therapy should be self determine and as such should be changeable at our whim.

Deli your comment about eye sight certainly made me think. Some people I know who have physical impairments consider them part of their uniqueness; part of the universe's way of experiencing experiencing itself. Sorry, hard concept to explain. IDK I think some of the hardships put on my path were placed there to prepare me to understand or develop certain skill sets I've needed later in life. Maube that's true for the ADHD too. I just can't decide if now is the time to make the medicate-dont medicate decision. With work start up full force soon and my dissertation still incomplete...probabaly not the best time for med free trial.I'm caught in this loop probably as a result of NOT being medicated.

IDK I just want to be comfortable being me. This probably isn't a good therapy goal because only I can make that happen..not therapy.

[splitimage]

I guess my goals are being able to accept and deal with my emotions in a positive way as opposed to all of my unhealthy coping mechanisms, to get over my social anxiety, to be able to honestly say that I like myself, to be able to accept that people geuninely like me for who I am, and ultimatly and the million dollar goal to be able to be in a caring stable intimate relationship with someone who loves me, and whom I love.

I'd also like to get into a mindfullness based stress reduction program but keep getting turned down as having too many complex problems.

---splitimage

My goals:
* To love myself unconditionally
* To be open and intimate in relationships
* To figure out why I overdo (overeat, overdrink, overspend) - I've pretty much met this goal.

There are more, I can't think of them right now.

chaotic, this is a great question and i've been mulling it over.

Originally Posted by chaotic13

Mine is to feel comfortable, productive, and happy just being me.

this is really cool. for me i don't think it is a therapy goal. it feels like more of a life goal for me. i guess i've not had enough growth in therapy to believe that i could accomplish this thru therapy.

i think in therapy my big goal is to find some emotional balance in life rather than my emotions causing me so many problems. also, i'd like to be able to resolve my issues with work/school. i've based my self-worth too much on how well i perform in them and boy has that screwed me up when i don't do well.

as for drugs i would be happy being on more if i could tolerate it. i have no problem with drugs helping me feel better. as long as they're legal and nonaddictive i'm down with it.

deli, i think God's plan may have gotten a little messed with. i don't think he wanted you to have to wear glasses since being a tot or causes bad things but he allows it...and brings good out it if we let him. anyway, that's my 2 cents. take it for what it's worth.

[Edahn]

I'm an atheist, but if I was in therapy (I'm not right now) my goal would be self-forgiveness and getting out of my thoughts a little bit and getting to know discomfort. Independence and self-sufficiency would be a related goal.

[MissCharlotte]

Well, the truth is--I don't have an end goal. This is really unlike me because in my former life (pre-therapy) I was very goal oriented. Now I try like hell to stay in the moment.

So, although I know I am getting better I don't have a goal of leaving therapy or being without T. I have come to accept that I may need medication for the rest of my life and that's okay with me. I have a lot of depresion in my family so it's probably genetic. Add to that my life experience and oh well........I don't think of it as a bad thing or something to strive to be without. I am grateful I have found something to help me be even keel most of the time.

[BlueMoon6]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

Not sure about what "God" meant for me, as I don't believe in that. I think having spent my entire life without adequate care and love, I didn't know what I wanted, all I knew was I hurt and was afraid and didn't want to feel like this anymore, didnt have the understanding to have goals as such, do now though, and getting that warm fuzzy, content, wanted feeling inside is about the best bit!

I like this Melba. I think I am afraid to set goals. Like Miss C I try like hell to stay in the moment. That is a good goal. To be present for the people around me and to be aware (somewhat) amid the chaos in my house of what I am feeling without having a meltdown.

I can even fathom a goal to be without therapy. My goal (as of now) is to remain in therapy and be present to that process- to be honest and brave there.

Good responses here

[Lemon]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

lol, pachy. you always cheer me up with your posts .

i seem to be a bit on the outer, because i have really really specific goals, and timelines (immediate, short-, mid- & long term) on when to achieve them. there isn't anything "ultimate" to them - they're all part of the process.

eventually, of course, i guess my therapy goal is to be able to graduate and not need therapy anymore .

i have different views on "God's unique creation" and the use of medication, but that is probably just specific to my condition. just like God created me to be so short sighted i needed glasses from age 2 (oh yeah, i was the kid who got bullied at preschool - set up to be a nerd from day 1, LOL), he also created me to have a disorder that kicked in and needs meds to keep in check. i think he would be confused if i refused to wear glasses, and i think he would be confused if i refused medication. of course, i wouldn't continue to wear glasses if i woke up one day with 20/20 vision and the same goes for my depression, but given that both are unlikely (unless divine intervention takes place), i'm quite okay with taking meds for the rest of my life if need be. it's certainly not a goal of mine to stop using them, but if i find myself in a place one day where i dont require them anymore, then i obviously wouldn't continue .

Deli - I really like your thoughts here. Thank you. It is really interesting to read everyone's posts.