OMG!

So, T left me my message. I had left a message telling him what I needed and that I needed to change an upcoming appointment. And then later, I realized I wasn't sure I needed to change the appointment yet so to keep me in place for now and I would let him know next week.

At the beginning of my message T said: "It gets QUITE IRRITATING at times to hear the back and forth of schedules" OMG! My stomach totally sunk.

We HAVE had a crazy week not knowing if I would be coming in being sick. So there were calls about that. And then there was this today. I guess that IS irritating. But really, I STILL can't believe T left that ON MY WEEKEND MESSAGE!!!!!! He kind of chuckled, but it felt like a chuckle to soften the blow.

Good grief. I am determined to not spiral out about it. I left HIM a message and told him he must think I'm in a REALLY good place to say that on my weekend message. I mean, really?!?!?!

We just got back to being connected, and I'm determined not to let this affect that...and I DO know that I ALWAYS tell T things he does that bother me, so it's only fair. But he has NEVER said anything even remotely like that before, so I am just....

Okay. I'm off to sit around and do this some more:

[BlueMoon6]

Good grief. I am determined to not spiral out about it. I left HIM a message and told him he must think I'm in a REALLY good place to say that on my weekend message. I mean, really?!?!?!

Oh, Jeez!!!!!!! And on the weekend! ACK! OK- Do you think maybe it was his mood? They are entitled to their moods, arent they (well, they arent but lets pretend they are...). My t has said something about it not being all about me when I tell her the things I think about stuff she said. She tells me, maybe its my mood, or maybe this or that happened to me (meanig her). Maybe he is having some other scheduling issues with other people too. And its getting to be too much not knowing about his schedule. It could actually be all about HIM! LOL!

Now, that said, I like the message you left. You told him how it made you feel. Good for you! Wow, Tree. That it is something you really cant say to someone unless they are perty dern stable Like you are

Go Tree!

LOL- I hope I'm that stable. I actually ended up e-mailing him too. NOW I'm done, though, I promise.

EVERYONE SEND "NO RUPTURE FOR TREEHOUSE" vibes!! lol

AND because of some wacky homeschooling scheduling stuff that just happened today, I am actually going to have to go down to three sessions every two weeks instead of twice a week. I think I'm ready IF THERE IS NO RUPTURE!

AND that will require....rescheduling some appointments I already made And IRRITATING T IN THE PROCESS!

[BlueMoon6]

OK- Sending NO-RUPTURE vibes to Here, Now......Are ya gettin the vibes?????

And lots of for t for his up-coming irritation.....

[deliquesce]

i know this won't help you now... but maybe you can look back to this occassion in the future, when T is late with leaving you a message or forgets altogether - that it's not because he's angry at you, because he's quite capable of calling you to let you know that!

i think it's nice that T is upfront about exactly how he feels. it means you waste less energy trying to figure it out for yourself.

Just to update!

I didn't spiral AT ALL, so I MUST be feeling connected. He's told me so many times that if he ever gets angry, we'll just work it out, and I must believe him...

But he left me the LONGEST message this morning and it made me LOL. He went on and on and on saying "I must have said 'interesting', you need to listen to it again" and "I wasn't FEELING irritated, so I don't know why I would have said that" and he apologized like 4 times, and said if he ever was irritated about something, he would never leave it on a message, he would bring it up in session. I swear he talked for 5 minutes

So, I listened to it again and he SO CLEARLY says "irritated" and I had my son listen to that part of the message and asked him "what do you think this guy is saying?" and my son said "He's quite irritated" lolol

I am so looking forward to playing it for T on Tuesday, not to prove I'm right, but because I think he will laugh really hard

Nice Freudian slip, T!

[Abby]

maybe i'm a cynic but generally i think if someone is very apologetic they definately did do something wrong. I think this is especially true with therapists as they generally like to make it your issue rather than theirs. So he probably did say irritated then when he got your msg was like 'oops! didn't think that one through properly, darn!' etc. My therapist once did the same kinda thing, we were talking about her needing to write a letter for me and she said we'd look through it together. It was at the end of a session so quite general and light-hearted, but then she said 'it'll be covered in red pen by the end won't it?' (e.g. i'd have lots to critize about it), i turned around and said 'ouch'. She apologised and said she shouldn't have said that, i let it go with as much good grace as i could muster!

Originally Posted by Abby

maybe i'm a cynic but generally i think if someone is very apologetic they definately did do something wrong. I think this is especially true with therapists as they generally like to make it your issue rather than theirs.

I know I'm lucky, but my T has NEVER made something my issue instead of his, ever. He's really good about owning his stuff.

I am sure at a different point in therapy this would totally throw me for a loop...I'm so glad we're in a good place so we can laugh about it.