[Melbadaze]

I pay out of pocket for my therapy, our NHS system consists of 6 weeks of CBT, so private therapy is about the only real alternative. T charges £50 a session but has charged me £17.50 a session and I go twice weekly. I don't earn that much working P/T in a supermarket but I've never revealed my total household income including hubbys wages. Is what we are expected to pay for therapy soley down to what we earn or is joint income meant to be a consideration??

(((((((((((Melba)))))))))) I'm guessing that each T has their own policy about this. Are you wondering if you "should" pay more? Where did that come from??

When my insurance ran out, my T lowered my session fee by $30 a session, without me even asking. It's nice when they help out so we can afford to keep coming

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

Is what we are expected to pay for therapy solely down to what we earn or is joint income meant to be a consideration??

I have a feeling that it varies quite widely in every situation.

It's a question that I may have to bring up myself. I see T through a charity org, and their fee is based on joint income, but curiously my DH and I could have gone into counseling together for the same fee as I am charged for my individual work - go figure.
At any rate, as my DH absolutely refuses to have anything to do with this, it seems to me they should base the fee on my income only. Since they're a .org, they probably will say OK ... I am guessing.... Good question, thanks for bringing this up.

[deliquesce]

pdoc doesnt charge me out of pocket at all. at first he just used to do it if i let it slip that i was finding things difficult financially (he has always given me a concession because i'm a student), but around xmas last year he stopped charging me altogether. it feels weird because i see him for an hour every week. i have tried to bring it up with him on various occassions, but he is really firm about it. i am really lucky to have someone who cares about me that much.

insurance ran out with Austin-T last week, so we discussed what to do. Austin-T offered a sliding scale, and told me to think about it and offer what i could and then he would tell me if it was ok or not. i asked him just to tell me how much he charges, and i said ok to that. he told me he will drop it by $30 for me and when i hesitated he used the opportunity to herd me out of the room . it's actually a lot of money for me still, so i'm having to look at how to save up for it now. i feel a bit stressed thinking about how i will afford it. im not entirely sure what i can do, but i will figure it out somehow. edit: i also feel obliged to bring it up with pdoc now and offer him the same amount. i dont think it's fair that he should lose out because of me.

sorry for this ramble, i've just been stressing about this tonight.

[googley]

I'm in the same situation. I am seeing a new T and she said for me to suggest an amount since I don't have insurance. I have been debating how much to suggest since I don't even have enough income at this point to pay for rent and will be using my small savings and student loans to pay for T. I feel uncomfortable suggesting what I can afford since I know it is so much less than what she usually charges.

[Melbadaze]

I dunno what to do, a feeling of guilt is eating me alive, unyet my husband also wouldnt consider paying much more out in therapy...I dunno if I can wait to friday until I see t again..I need to sort it now...its growing to big in my head...

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

I need to sort it now...

Make a plan now on how to discuss this with T on Friday?

[Melbadaze]

To late I've emailed her offering to pay what I'm paying but for 1 session instead of 2 or I can bail out of therapy gracefully...funny as we recover, honesty seems to grow...I felt I was being followed home today, think it was my consience bothering me...feel torn between being honest with T and not wanting to appear to be hogging the family income...sigh..I guess recovery has to be honest in all areas of our life...

[Melbadaze]

T wrote a real explainative reply!....phew feel better now...have a thing about not paying my way but the way T explained it its ok....she said her training and her values do not allow her to practise elitist therapy for the middle classes only...

[sw628]

I wish my T would work with me on what I can pay. I have struggled so much to pay what I do out of pocket. T will only slide to a lower price if I were to see her twice a week or pre-pay all of the sessions upfront.. sigh.. At least have insurance now... that will help some.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by melbadaze

she said her training and her values do not allow her to practise elitist therapy for the middle classes only...

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

Is what we are expected to pay for therapy soley down to what we earn or is joint income meant to be a consideration??

I think of joint income as being important, but that could be because of how marriage is legally defined in my state, where all financial resources are considered community property. (I know it can be different in each state and country.) Some Ts might have a problem treating one member of a couple on sliding scale when that person makes little money but their spouse makes a truckload of money.

MelbaD, I am glad you corresponded with your T and you can still go twice a week. I like her comment about elitist therapy. So true! But yet I know Ts have to make a living too. I pay 100% out of pocket for my therapist and unfortunately, my salary is not terribly high, but it is probably high enough to not be eligible for any kind of discount. (I don't have a spouse's income to consider.) If I were to go twice a week to therapy, though, I wouldn't have enough to put food on the table. I am trying to stick to once every other week to keep things affordable. I really understand what you mean about not wanting to "hog the family income." Like, I think it is more important that my oldest daughter go to college than that I have therapy... Stuff like that makes me toe the line with my therapy spending.

I wouldn't think of talking to my T about it because he knows it is a choice of mine to go to therapy. Last time I told him I couldn't "justify" going to therapy every week (I cut back a while ago) and in part, I was talking about the expense taking away too much money from the family pot. He was very understanding and was OK with my not going so frequently. My daughter's T, on the other hand, really pressures me to keep my daughter in weekly therapy. I did talk to her T a while ago about going to every other week but the T really wanted me to keep my daughter in weekly therapy. Sigh...

[MissCharlotte]

I think this is a question for T....I would think though that if you are expected to cover your own therapy costs out of your personal budget between you and H, then that should be good enough for T.

It might be worth exploring, but then again, I hate when it becomes about the money. I have pretty good insurance but I'm hitting the time of year when my sessions will be out of pocket. I pay $100 per session and go 2x per week so until January when my insurance kicks in again, my kids will be eating lots of beans.

Oh yeah--and now my middle son is in therapy and we pay for that out of pocket because he has no insurance. I told him I could only afford every other week but he already fell in love with therapy and so he negotiated a lower rate!

[BlueMoon6]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

T wrote a real explainative reply!....phew feel better now...have a thing about not paying my way but the way T explained it its ok....she said her training and her values do not allow her to practise elitist therapy for the middle classes only...

Melba- I like this. She sounds like a t who likes what she does.
It is scary when it becomes about money. Im glad it worked out for you.

Im also at a point where my insurance will run out if Im not careful. I have decided to pay for sept and only go once/wk. If I get to have an interview appt with a t then I may even cancel my t for money reasons. That insurance has got to last thru december! And I know what Miss C means about beans until January!

[Melbadaze]

MY fear was that T would suddenly attack me for not paying more...that comes back from having parents that spoke with "fork" tongue....T said that she has always worked on people paying what they feel they can honestly afford and for each full paying client, that enables her to have a client for lower rate...she said she is happy with our arrangement ...she doesn't base on annual incomes because everyone has different outgoings...

[splitimage]

Melbadaze,

It sounds like you've got a really good T. I pay totally out of pocket for T, and it's really expensive, but worth it to me. But when I went into rehab for 10 weeks and had to cut down to part time hours, I knew I just couldn't afford her at her full rate without using up even more of my savings, so I asked if she would consider a lower rate for the weeks I was in rehab. So we negotiated a lower rate, and I got to keep seeing her. It's nice when T's are flexible.

--splitimage