[paintingravens]

I had my first session with our campus' counselor a little over a week ago. I don't know what to think about him... it was my first session of any sort, so I don't have anything to compare him to.
He asked me how I heard or thought to self-injure, and I had heard about it because I used to have a few friends who had cut, though at the time I was completely against it, and I told him about it, to which he immediately replied "OOhhh, modeling", like with a kind of eye roll and this attitude that sounded like "oh THAT'S what it is..." He then joked with, "good thing they weren't pulling out their teeth; you'd be pretty toothless right now!" I mean, was that really necessary?? I'm not sure if he just has a really weird sense of humor or if he's just being a bit insensitive...or maybe I'm being insensitive?? I had heard he was an insensitive *****-hole before, but from someone who didn't talk to him as a counselor--he had been teaching some sort of class or something. I figured I needed to at least give him a try, as a counselor, not as a professor. I don't think we clicked at all. He came off as being impatient, like he had better things to do with his time or something... But neither I nor my family have any way of paying for therapy; the counseling center is free. Otherwise, I would be trying to find someone else to talk to. I can't be sure about him, but I know some counselors/T's don't like to deal with self-injury clients--it's kinda looked down upon i guess. I don't know. Does anyone else have a T who is perhaps overly sarcastic/somewhat insensitive?? And what should I do about this???

[Rapunzel]

I had therapists in the past who were insensitive and didn't take me seriously. Now I wish that I would have told them how I felt about it. I just quietly disappeared and waited and didn't get help for several more years until I found the therapist I have now, who understands SI and recovered from it herself. I don't know if the earlier therapists would have changed if I had addressed my concerns more directly, but I would have felt better for trying, and might have had a better chance of getting help sooner, even if it meant being transferred to a different therapist.

[paintingravens]

I feel awkward talking to him. I only talked to him once, and for some reason, I got the distinct feeling that he wasn't too fond of me... How on earth do I bring that up?

[Rapunzel]

The only way, really, is just to say it. Just like you did here. What's the worst that would happen? If you aren't comfortable with how he interacts with you, would it be better to live with it, or bring it up and see if there is a way to come to an understanding? Or disappear and miss out on your opportunity to get treatment that can improve your life? I know it's hard and it's scary. All I'm saying is it's what I wish I had done back then.

[googley]

Painting-
I'm so sorry that you had such a bad experience with your first T. That is awful. His remarks were totally unprofessional. Is he a student learning to be a T? If so I would contact the clinic and ask to talk to his supervisor. Then I would tell the supervisor what he said and ask to be transferred to a staff psychologist. If the T was not a student and was staff, I would contact the head of the counseling services, tell that person what was said and ask to be transferred to another T. Talking to the supervisor of the student or the head of the counseling center is your right. It is also your right to demand to be transferred to another T. If my T acted like that, I would not return for a second session. I did that once with a pdoc who was totally unprofessional. Sadly the one I was seeing was in private practice so all I could do was just not go back. No matter if the T was a student or a staff member, they need better training not to say things like that, even if he is thinking them. He needs more training so that he does not continue this behavior. Depending on how the clinic at your school is set up, the only way his superivsors will know that he makes such inappropriate remarks in session is for you to tell them.

I'm sure it may be hard to talk to his superivsor, or the head of the clinic, but it is your right. Please stand up for yourself and get what you need. You don't have to see him for another session. If you report his behavior I am sure that his supervisor, whether he be student or staff, will bring it up with him. That way you don't have to see him again. Please speak up. I went through a year of T with a student once who provided me with nothing that I needed. I wish I had asked for a change but was too afraid and didn't realize that it was my right. We are here to support you in whatever choice you make. Please let us know how it goes.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by paintingravens

I got the distinct feeling that he wasn't too fond of me...

These sorts of things can be projected by us????

[darkrunner]

Painting,
what you described does sounds awful, very invalidating.
I completely agree with what Rapunzel said - don't waste another minute talking to him without bringing this up. I don't think it is necessarily the end of therapy with him. But you have a right to bring your concerns to him and be heard and addressed. Maybe, as Sannah suggested, it was something that you read into his words/actions. If you talk to him about it, you will find this out. Or you will find out he is an unprofessional *****. Either way, you will be better off than if you just stay quiet.

BTW, I also agree with googley's advice too, if he does turn out to be as bad as he sounds.

Don't give up on getting the support you deserve, ok?