[sassypants]

Hello everyone,
Just wanted to get some insight to therapists. I have had 4 , and some how, I thought with medication and therapy you might get better.
My T told me yesterday," I can't understand why you still have depression? " "You need to get out and socialize with people and start going to a health club to work out I was upset with that comment and I told her ,I am so tired of people telling what I should do. I feel that I have to
listen to my body.I started to cry, because maybe she doesn't understand that I have major depression, I usually go out of the house maybe 6-10 days a month.

Did I overreact?

Please help.

Thank you

It's frustrating to hear advice that we don't feel like we are capable of carrying out. She's right you know. Those of us with major depression DO need to force ourselves out of the house once a day. Even if it is just to walk to the corner of the street and back. That's something. Trust me. I'm talking as one who hears this from my therapist regularly. I know he's right. It would help. When we are depressed, we generally need to do exactly the opposite of what we want to do. We need to eat well; we need to exercise; we need to socialize; we need to get out of our heads. Unfortunately, it feels quite impossible at the time. I truly understand.

I get angry too when my therapist gets on my case about isolating while I'm depressed. It feels impossible to do what I should do for my own mental health. Do I do what I need to do? Generally not. And what happens? My depression lingers and gets worse. I know that, yet I seem helpless to fight it.

[SpottedOwl]

(((sassypants)))

I would be upset if my T said they didn't understand why I was still depressed. I'm sorry T said that to you.

Self-care is a really important part of healing, but it is something that can come along slowly. It is kind of a chicken or egg dilemma -- do I go out more and that will help me feel better, or do I stay in until I feel ready to go out?

One thing that really helped me was to separate self-care into groups.

Physical: exercise, stretching, sunlight, good food, enough fluids.
Mental: finding something to laugh at, calling a friend, reading a book, learning something new
Emotional: Seeing T, journaling, learning to let myself cry...
(Optional) Spiritual: praying, meditating, church, etc.

When I don't know what to do, I run over the categories and try to ask myself what *I* need.

If you can get some sunlight every day, I would highly recommend it. Even if it means sitting on your steps and not leaving your house...try to get some sun. It has been scientifically proven that sunlight is important to our mental health. If our bodies don't have the basic building blocks, it is impossible to feel good.

Be kind to yourself.

[sunrise]

sassypants, have you had 4 different therapists because none of them have been helpful? Have they all used the same therapeutic approach with you? It sounds like your current therapist is CBT. This helps a lot of people with depression but not all. Do you think it is the approach that is not helpful? If so, have any of your other therapists taken different approaches? I did have major depression at one point, and the therapist I began seeing was CBT. (I didn't know that was what it was called at the time or that there were very different approaches to psychotherapy.) This therapist was not very effective and later I realized, when I knew more about therapy, that the CBT approach is not the best fit for me. My second therapist is not CBT at all--he is from the humanistic psychology tradition, although he borrows from several approaches. His general approach has worked very well for me.

One thing my CBT therapist really helped me with a lot was getting me to improve my sleep habits. Somehow being chronically sleep deprived is associated with being depressed for me. I'm not sure if the depression causes the sleep problems, or the sleep problems cause the depression, but they go hand in hand in my body and seem to feed off of each other. By working really hard to improve my sleep, I did find that this helped some with depression too (and also cognitive functioning).

I think with CBT, the idea is that all of these things you do will help a little bit and if you add them all up, they can be a significant help in reducing depression. So improve sleep, diet, exercise, socializing, take meds, etc., and each one will add to the other until you can notice an improvement. Anyhow, hang in there. Maybe ask your T if she has any other suggestions up her sleeve. A big toolbox can be so helpful with a diverse clientele.