[lily99]

My T is consistently 5-8 minutes late every session. (only once was she 15 mins late)
She doesn't acknowledge it, nor do I.
Usually she makes up the extra time.

Waiting for her is really triggery for me - I get more anxious and angry. But by the time she comes out I'm so overjoyed to see her I forget about it.
Should I say something or just let this go?

[mightaswelllive]

If she is starting her sessions around 5 after consistently.. sounds like that's when she starts her sessions. Most Ts schedule 50 minutes with a client and then 10 minutes to contemplate and record the session, check their phone message and go to the bathroom. How much time do you get with your T?

[ECHOES]

I see my T late in the evening--usually around 7pm. She starts late sometimes but always gives me the whole hour anyway. And sometimes if there is no one after me, she extends the hour a bit. It all works out.

[WePow]

My T is usually late as well - sometimes by 15 min. But he is sooooo worth it. And he always gives me 60 Min or more .... he never pushes people out the door. So I understand how he ends up being late by the time I get there! :-) It did trigger me at first - until I figured out how he worked. Then I just plan for it and know that the time I do get to see him is well worth the wait.

[BohemianPrincess]

There is a joke that says a therapist will always start a session late, but will make sure to end on time. In other words, they're known for being somewhat flaky when it comes to time.

(((((((((((((((lily)))))))))))))))))))

My T usually runs a few minutes late too, and I don't love it, but I've kind of come to expect it. He still gives me my full time with him.

If my T didn't make up the extra time, I would DEFINITELY say something. Since he always makes it up, I'm okay with it.

Do you want to say something about it to her??

[writingwithink]

I couldn't even tell you if I start on time or not since I don't usually wear a watch. I show up and wait to get called back. At some point during the session a buzzer goes off and I start getting ready to leave. The appt is the same day and time every week and I trust that she is keeping up with the time. The consistency of it all actually feels... safe? I don't watch the minutes, and by the time the buzzer goes off, I'm ready to bolt.

[mixedup_emotions]

My sessions are scheduled to be 45 minutes....My T used to start our sessions very much on time....but lately, he has been running 5-8 minutes late as well.

My sessions never seem to be the full 45 minutes. He is very mindful of the time and knows when to bring it to a close.

I usually walk out of there not knowing what time it is, and then I realize when I get to my car that I soooo did not get my full 45 minutes, because of his lateness.

[polarsmom]

My T is always late. It would be triggery for me too. But after I learned to expect this I just plan for it. I usually show up right on time or 5 minutes late. Knowing that he isn't ready for me anyway. And I will spend my time reading a newspaper, texting or working on one of my many lists. I have also put a few magazines and catalogs in my car. I'll just grab one in with me to pass the time. I really enjoy thumbing through catalogs. Especially Avon or the Skymall. Unfortunately I end up wanting to spend money too. LOL

[gravyyy]

When I was seeing a T she was always on time. I think there were maybe a handful of times when she would start 3-5 minutes late. My sessions were 45 minutes and we would always end at the 45 minute mark no matter if we started late (which meant I would be short a few minutes once in a great while). This is fine becuase there were times when I was particularly ill and she spent 90 minutes with me talking and arranging a seamless admission to the hospital and what-not. Interestingly enough, both time we went so far over there wasn't a client after me. My T was great though. She was very fair and I respected her decision to werap-up a few minutes early if needed. Like I said though, this rarely happened.

My t tends to run late by about 10-15 minutes, but we always get in our full time, so it really doesn't bother me. I just take a good book to read and the time goes by quickly.

[sunrise]

My T is also consistently late, usually about 10 minutes, but occasionally up to 20 minutes. It doesn't bother me. I don't watch the clock during our sessions but I do believe I always get my full 50 minutes, and often more. I try not to arrive early as then I have to wait longer. I arrive exactly on time or a minute or two late and just read magazines in the waiting room, or think, or sometimes sleep. If I have to leave on time due to a later appointment, I email him in advance and tell him I need to start on time that day because I need to leave on time. He is always respectful of these occasional needs to be punctual and thanks me for letting him know.

[BlueMoon6]

I have never seen a T that wasnt late, either sometimes or consistently. I expect it now with ftt. She always apologizes and gives me a full hour at least, if not 5 -10 minutes over.

I dont mind waiting in the waiting in the waiting room for ftt. I read my journal. Waiting for desk-t was excruciating. I felt like she didnt care about me, so why should she care if I waited? It wasnt something I consciously thought about.

[rainbow8]

I used to think my T was late, but then realized when she says "2:00" she starts at about 2:05 or 2:06. She must watch the clock because she will end at exactly 50 minutes from when we start. If I ask her how much time is left, she will say exactly, like "we have 2 minutes" left. She has a full schedule and doesn't let people go over the time. Even when she doesn't have anyone after me, she ends on time.

Sometimes I will ask her a question at the end and she will go over by a minute or two. She doesn't say anything but I wonder if she thinks I'm manipulating her when I do that because I don't want to leave. Usually, though, when time is up, it's up.

I had another T who was the same way about time. I also had 2 others who let me stay an hour or longer. It was nice but I still wanted more.

[lily99]

Hi everyone,
thanks for your thoughts. It's not a massive issue for me, just kind of irksome.
I can understand it- Ts can't just kick their clients out if they're distressed or teary - she's had to go over time with me a number of times.

oh well

[rainbow8]

I forgot to say that even though I know my T starts about 5 or 6 minutes after the hour, I always get there early. I have to use the bathroom, and then I like to sit in her waiting room. Her couches there are much more comfortable than the one in her office. There is never anyone else there, since it's her home, and I like to be around her things--her books, pictures, etc. It's a very nice room--more like a library. I watch her walk in from another room. In summer, she gets iced tea from her kitchen and when I hear the sound of the ice cubes, I know she is coming. I miss my weekly sessions where I'd hear the tinkling of the ice cubes in her glass.

[lily99]

I like the sound of your waiting room rainbow. I associate mine with magazines from 2004, an hat that's been left there for as long as I've gone there and feeling veeeeeery very anxious oh and they took away my favorite couch!

[gimmeice]

My T is always at least 5-10 minutes late, I asked her once about it and she said something like she uses that 5-10 minutes to regroup between patients and since the appointment is 50 minutes it's ok to start a few minutes late. I don't really like waiting for T but I am kinda used to it now.

I have no clue if I actually get the entire 50 minutes, my guess would be that I actually get more than that, sometimes I am the one that decides the appointment is over by gathering my things.

[ECHOES]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I forgot to say that even though I know my T starts about 5 or 6 minutes after the hour, I always get there early. I have to use the bathroom, and then I like to sit in her waiting room. Her couches there are much more comfortable than the one in her office. There is never anyone else there, since it's her home, and I like to be around her things--her books, pictures, etc. It's a very nice room--more like a library. I watch her walk in from another room. In summer, she gets iced tea from her kitchen and when I hear the sound of the ice cubes, I know she is coming. I miss my weekly sessions where I'd hear the tinkling of the ice cubes in her glass.

rainbow, this sounds very comfortable, very wonderful. I'm sorry that you miss your weekly sessions

[mixedup_emotions]

I do understand that T's need some time to regroup between sessions, take down notes, etc....Yet, I see the person walking out of T's office and by the time that person is done paying the receptionist, my T is on his way to greeting me. That just doesn't seem like enough time to do a brain dump of the previous session.....Or is that just their skill?

I don't know. Ideally, it would make sense, if he's doing 45 minute sessions, to schedule them 15 minutes apart so that he can take into account some lateness, jotting down notes, etc. in between sessions.

When he's running late, it sometimes bugs me when I see the person that walks out of his office. I get angry that they are not respecting my time....Yet, I know they are not thinking of me at all (the other clients) which I don't expect anyway...and perhaps their session started late...who knows? But I do sometimes find myself feeling resentful about it - IF I was shorted time during my session.

[deliquesce]

pdoc routinely runs late. it's not good, because it means i dont bother to arrive on time anymore, and then if he's ready before i am he might call in another client or go do something else.

i think my typical waiting time is 10-15mins, but 45min+ probably happen every month or so.

[BohemianPrincess]

I would tell a therapist that if they are not going to give you the full amount of time you are paying for, then you are not going to pay for the full amount of time, if they cut the session more then 5 minutes.

[rainbow8]

Bohemian, my T rarely goes over the time, but for those that do, then do you think they should pay for the extra minutes the T gives them? That seems only fair. I'm not being sarcastic. I agree with you!

[WePow]

In my case, it balances out. On days when I am doing well, I will end the session on a good note about 5 min early :-) Kinda like a way to give my T a bonus that he can't turn down. Hee hee.

I'd also say it balances out. T goes over a few minutes for me when it's needed. He talks to me on the phone when I need it, etc. Sometimes we just end our sessions early because all is going well. I guess I've never felt tied to the clock.