[moonrise]

My T (who is also a psychiatrist), is very much psychodynamic. She doesn't readily give advice or direction - very much "say what pops into your head" type of person.

Ages ago, when I was at my lowest, I was on tons and tons of different meds for a variety of diagnoses. After a time of 6 years being therapy and med free, I found my way back to therapy. But not meds.

I'm depressed. I *know* I am. And T being a psychiatrist is willing to prescribe, but I'm resistant. She's not pushing. She only talks about it when I bring it up. But I'm split. Part of me is afraid of meds, part of me wants them. And T doesn't seem to be willing to direct me in any way. Which is good, because I don't feel pressure, but bad because I think I need a kick in the pants to just do this.

She makes supportive comments about it, like she sees me weekly and so we can monitor me closely, that it doesn't have to be forever.

I just wish she'd push a little more, because I don't think I have the cohesiveness of brain to agree without two minutes later saying no, I don't need meds.

[sittingatwatersedge]

(((((((((((((((((((((((( dear Moonrise ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

please be gentle with yourself. I hate this thing - I can't call it a "smilie"



you need to go easy on yourself. Please?
If you need advice on meds, maybe your regular doc can advise, even though couldn't prescribe them. At least in my experience, regular doctors don't fear giving advice, and this is a medical person who does know you at least a litle.
Here -

[WePow]

moonrise - maybe you might benifit from a combination of seeing your current T - and maybe consider meds if needed - but also seeing a talking T who does CBT? That would give you the benifit of having someone who does help with opinions mixed with what you already have?

I read a book a few years ago that gave me a real good kick in the pants to treat my depression with all the seriousness it needed, and that meant being willing to be on medication as long and as often as necessary:

Against Depression
by Peter D Kramer

I am glad your T is not pushing. It really does need to be your decision

[moonrise]

wp - I can't even fathom seeing two T's - one makes me crazy enough! LOL. I'm curious as to why you suggest CBT?

Ripley - thanks for the book suggestion. I'll have to see if our library has it. And I *truly* appreciate you saying that you're glad T isn't pushing. I think that that's a hard truth I'm just not able to see. Having someone else say it somehow makes me feel better about it. I just wish I could come to a decision.

It also doesn't help that I've been on tons and tons of meds in the past, but can't remember them. We've only gotten records from one out of 9 hospital stays, so my med history is incomplete. Plus I had some nasty reactions to some meds. All that = moonrise panicky about pills. I even took myself off birth control because I'm worried about side effects!!!

[WePow]

Moonrise - well I suggested CBT just based on my own thoughts. For one, it is usually a short term therapy style that kinda lets you process through the situation at hand such as depression and it gives you some thinking skills. For me, I did not want any meds at all -just my style (maybe foolish of me) and T asked me about it right away. My T uses CBT and even though I am very independent (like I think you might be from your posts) I am still offered his opinions ( kinda like the kick in the pants you mention). So it kinda helps me move forward. Just thought about throwing that out there too you as an idea :-)

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by moonrise

I'm depressed. I *know* I am. And T being a psychiatrist is willing to prescribe, but I'm resistant. She's not pushing. She only talks about it when I bring it up. But I'm split. Part of me is afraid of meds, part of me wants them. And T doesn't seem to be willing to direct me in any way.

Maybe you can have a discussion about all the ways one can work on depression. Meds are one way. Do you discuss other approaches? Maybe you can use your T's expertise to help evaluate the different approaches and then choose what seems best to you (or a combination of approaches). I am glad your T is not pushing one method over another. I do think the client needs to make the decision. My first T was very directive about how she felt depression should be treated. She said she would drop me as a client if I took meds. I felt I didn't need that threat or directiveness. I do better with a T who is not so pushy. (I am no longer with her.)