[Melbadaze]

I had so many traumatic incidents during my childhood, listed some in a thread last week I think, and I keep going back to certain ones telling T about them and she doesn't "appear" to be "triggered" by what I tell her, actually it's only in writing this post that I realise I have been trying to get rid of my reaction to triggers onto t HHmm (random detour over).

T said, yes but that is a post traumatic reaction, that trauma had already happened, do you find yourself being disturbed by siren etc? Well yeah, well thats not your trauma, its a reaction that was created by the original trauma. Oh I get it! finally. All the other "traumas" that have held so much power over me sort of faded into the background, a sense of freedom almost, because I can put pieces back together a bit more now.

I did ask her when I first walked into session yesterday why do we never talk about coping skills? and she sort of brushed that away and said, there already out there, count to 10, breathe etc. OH yeah and they never work for me LOL! because I get something from the trauma reaction at the moment, and we talked about that, we talked about the feeling that leads up to me going into flashback, we talked about what I do to deal with the first feeling? and as I drove home I thought about it a bit more, how important it is to actually talk about just what happens in a flashback, how it feels, what I do, or don't do, breathing and counting to 10 are all very good for a short while, but they don't get to the heart of the problem, there just a managing device, if one can manage with it? I can't. But naming the feelings, watching the process of how the set of events work within me feels much more mastery.

Up until yesterday I could have stood and refused to move on what I believed to be the causes of my PTSD, the denial of the original cause so strong, so absolute. But keep going to session over and over, week in, week out, yr in yr out and bit by bit, the jig-saw comes together, the words are formed, the story told.

Normally when I go into one of my flashbacks I accuse T of not seeing "it, and yesterday when that was about to happen again, T said, ok explain "it" to me, that sort of broke "it" I looked up and felt like saying "eh?" LOL! funny how something as simple as that can break the "trance", what was their to explain to her? it was a feeling of aloneness and with her asking me to help her see it by explaining, it faded away, the pain and fear just evaperated. Good stuff!

[WePow]

WOW! What an awesome transformation!!! Thank you tons for sharing.
For the PTSD, I am starting to use this form:
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/PT...ecordSheet.pdf

Really helps and thought you might want to see it.

[Melbadaze]

Wpowers, Thank you, that is so appropriate for where I'm at right this minute! Especially liked the question about the danger being real or feeling real because of my trauma! I need to keep asking myself that before I act. Cheers!

[peaches100]

Melbadaze,

I'm so glad those insights are helping you! Thanks for the PTSD sheet. I definitely need something like this to help me separate reality-in-the-present from the dangers of the past!

[pachyderm]

The title, at least, resonates with me. One gets diagnosed with any number of collections of symptoms, such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or Dysthymia, or Manic-Depressive -- and when I reflect, I think that no mental health professional that I have ever known wonders WHY. What caused these symptoms to come about? It seems to me that that is much more important than any particular collection of symptoms... At least in the case of PTSD there is implied a cause...

[skeksi]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

well thats not your trauma, its a reaction that was created by the original trauma.

I understand your feeling of, "finally! I get it!" It has taken a long time to sink in--still hasn't, sometimes--but when I can recognize my feelings and behaviors as trauma responses, it can really help me to understand what is going on and why. And it helps me to have compassion for myself.

I'm glad something clicked for you!

[Melbadaze]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

The title, at least, resonates with me. One gets diagnosed with any number of collections of symptoms, such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or Dysthymia, or Manic-Depressive -- and when I reflect, I think that no mental health professional that I have ever known wonders WHY. What caused these symptoms to come about? It seems to me that that is much more important than any particular collection of symptoms... At least in the case of PTSD there is implied a cause...

Yes, exactly, you know I have to admit that to a degree, the mental health systems is a kind of "game" that gets played, sometimes it takes courage to coNfront all the laballing, enabling and just get down to it.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by pachyderm

The title, at least, resonates with me. One gets diagnosed with any number of collections of symptoms, such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder, or Dysthymia, or Manic-Depressive -- and when I reflect, I think that no mental health professional that I have ever known wonders WHY. What caused these symptoms to come about? It seems to me that that is much more important than any particular collection of symptoms... At least in the case of PTSD there is implied a cause...

I think a lot of the "field" is looking into genetic, environmental causes for these and other mental illness, but right now few of these results have reached the patient. I think for most symptoms there isn't an all encompassing "why". It's a combination of things that just come together. Of course, all of these factors should be explored through talk therapy, medication etc... In terms of PTSD ( and potentially GAD which IMO are very closely related), there can usually be an identified "why" - even though that doesn't necessarily predict a resolution of symptoms.

Now as for the great existential "why", well....