[Melbadaze]

When talking to T once about "that little *****", she said can't you treat her with kindness? I got angry then and said, "why should I, its weak and anyways kindness wasn't there when I needed it so why bother now?" T said,"yes but you don't have to perpetuate it". That word was like the key to unlocking some closed of part of my mind, I mean I seriously didn't know thats what I was doing and I couldnt see anyways out, until that word, it was an aha moment. I think we could have talked for hours but sometimes its just one word that hits home and makes a huge difference. Now when I feel myself going into one of "those" moments, that word comes to mind and I stop immdiately.

What words have had that effect on "you"?

I like that story, Melba...

I think for me, it was early in therapy and I was working hard on trauma stuff for the first time. I had a hard weekend and my boys played a LOT of video games that weekend, and I was really beating myself up about it, feeling like I was failing as a mom.

When I saw T, I told him that the boys had played video games all weekend and he said "so what?". And it was like this big "a-ha" moment for me. The world hadn't ended- they just had more game time that usual. They were thrilled. I didn't have to be "perfect" all the time. Those words gave me permission to loosen up and forgive myself a little bit.

[pachyderm]

I can think of a lot of words that have made things much worse for me, but none from people in person that made them better.

[ECHOES]

"in case you forgot"
..interjected by T when talking about self-diminishing, self-critical thoughts I was having about something.
As if telling myself, "Don't forget! You're (this)(that)(the other)"

[darkrunner]

The words my T says that often comes to mind is:
Progress not perfection.

I guess I have a lot of 'all or nothing' thinking. I feel like if I am not doing well I am a failure and all is hopeless. Her phrase has helped me remember that, especially with eating disorders, small victories are huge, and big slips are normal. She says I am way too hard on myself.
But just because I am not perfect doesn't mean I am a failure.

Melbadaze, I'm so glad you had an 'a-ha' moment.

[BlueMoon6]

Melba- I like that word, that you dont have to perpetuate it. I also can perpetuate that mental abuse to myself if I dont step in and put a stop to it.

A sentence that has helped me is what did she do so wrong that she deserves this? It brings tears to my eyes to think of my little girl and the fact that she really didnt do anything wrong to be treated this way. It was not her fault. And it is not your fault, either, Melba, you dont have to perpetuate the abuse. She doesnt deserve it.

My t's word is autonomy. That is my goal.

[RiverX]

Yes. .... God!.... Oh!....

these have been therapeutic for me.