therapist is leaving

Although I've only been seeing my therapist for one college semester, I have grown very attached to her. I consider her my friend, especially since she is the only one I can really talk to at my university. I have shared everything with her and she's one of the most understanding, helping people I've ever encountered (I guess that's her job, but still). She just told me at our last meeting on Friday that this upcoming Friday she is moving to private practice (I currently go to her through my uni's counseling department) and I'd have to pay to see her if I wanted to keep going to her. My family isn't that well off financially, considering I have to pay for a private university, so no one really has money to give to a therapist at this point. My mother said for me to try working with a new therapist from school and if it doesn't work out, go to private practice with my old therapist...but this is all a big maybe.

I am terribly distraught though, especially since it's likely that I might have to switch to someone new and stay with them. I have a hard time trusting and opening up to people, especially since they end up leaving or betraying me somehow. This is exactly what happened, I opened up and she has to leave now.

I can't help but cry my eyes out and act like a child about this but it's so difficult.

Any advice for me? Anything? I really need something right about now.

im so sorry to hear this. thats awful. is it your first therapist? I was incredibly attached to my first therapist and i couldnt deal with the separation of it at all.

I think you should try to convince your parents to let you see your therapist because its easier than starting again.

Yeah, she's my first. I've never opened up to anyone like this, since I'm always afraid of how people will respond and she is the only one that gives me support and never reprimands me for the way I feel. I am just so attached, I can't believe she's leaving me.. She actually said when she made the decision to leave that she was thinking a lot about me since I am having such difficult issues right now and feeling so lonely. I just wish money wasn't an issue in my life for once.

I will try to convince my parents but it'll be tough. I feel terrible trying to convince them since I know they don't have money to give to a therapist. Such a Catch 22. I feel like my mom will make me feel guilty for making her pay for therapy too...she often makes me feel bad for things like this (big reason as to why I'm in therapy too).

Unfortunately, money is a reality for parents, particularly weighed with college. Is there insurance to use as a possibility?

It's hard to change t's, but give the school t's a try and see how it goes. You might be surprised. Hope it all gets figured out.

Insurance covers some, but considering I need to see her once a week, it adds up.

I guess I will try to give one of the other t's a try. I just don't want to have to go through the whole process of opening myself up. My current t already knows so much and has seen me go through a terrible semester, so she understands the way I feel and the things I say. I feel like I have to work at it all over again and I have no patience nor emotional energy to do so.

The nice thing I found about university t's is that they are really connected to students and what students are going through. I remember when my uni t was going to be gone on vacation for a few weeks. He had me see another t in the counseling office. I wasn't thrilled about seeing someone different, but really, it was okay. Better than I thought.

That's a good experience to hear, makes me a bit more hopeful.
I have only seen the other t's briefly and there are two males and one other female. I don't feel comfortable discussing my personal matters to males (I am odd, I know, but I simply can't be vulnerable in front of a male), so that leaves the other female. I'm crossing my fingers that I have a good experience with it, but then again it'd be really nice to keep seeing my current t.

Hi Azkaban- I agree that money for therapy is a reality and if your parents say they can do it, then you can do it. But if they say it is too much money and too much of a strain, then maybe there is someone in the counseling dept you can talk to about a female T who works with your particular issues. Maybe you can have a session with someone or talk to someone there about what you might want in a therapist.

Im crossing my fingers for you, too

I started out with a university therapist myself. Like yours, he left and I saw another uni therapist. However, I will never forget that first uni therapist. He was really there for me when I was ready to talk for that first time. I still miss him sometimes, but he left and I couldn't follow. Uni therapist are notoriously transient which is why some places limit the visits with any one therapist to 8 or so.

If it turns out that you have to stay with the uni therapists, I would first advise you to take heart. WIth your permission (or perhaps you've already given it), your old therapist can speak with your new one. I found that the transfer of my care was pretty seamless and the new uni therapist came into the room with his ducks in a row so to speak. It may sound uncomfortable, but looking back on it, it was very beneficial.
It became. just about adjusting to a new person sitting across from me. No, he wasn't as "good" as the first one, but then again, at that stage no one could have ever been.

My first several sessions were spent basically crying over the loss of my previous therapist. The new one was very supportive and appeared to understand. I kept an open mind, and the new one helped me a fair bit as well. No, they aren't interchangeable, but each can bring something good to the table. In fact, this new guy actually helped me to transition out of therapy for a good long while. I was able to complete my graduate work.

Also, one last thought. I would try as hard as I could not to view your old therapist's decision as a betrayal. I'm sure this was a hard decision for her too, but the rules of her new practice likely dictate that all patients pay. It may be completely out of her hands.

Your strong enough I'm sure to handle this transition, however it turns out, and to stay on the course to your recovery.

Azkaban, there are sliding fees to ask her about that. Also ask if she would be willing to see you for free for a month of transition to another T. You could also ask if she knows anyone at the university that can meet you needs and if so can she help you transistion to this person. Would like to know what happens.