Upset by what prospective T told me

i'm confused by the emphasis you are placing on these prospective Ts voices.

austin-t sounds like a braying donkey but he's a really good therapist (who's admittedly a bit overrun at the moment, but it doesn't detract from his ability).

are you setting the bar too high?

Deli, I understand what you are saying. The T's voice is important to me because of my issue with attachment. I'm glad you brought this up. You said in your therapy you don't discuss your relationship with each other. It's not an important part of therapy.

You're getting me to see something crucial! Already I want to choose a T I will attach to. That by itself is good. But, maybe you're right. It's imperative for me to choose a T (I'm almost doing it subconsciously) I will overly attach to, again. I'm looking for soothing in her voice. I don't know if I'm setting myself up to be hurt again!

Do I want a good T or someone who will be nice to me? I don't know! Emotionally I know I want the nice T. Rationally, ????? I called one of the Ts who seems more like my current T, except she has better credentials and more experience. I am hoping to find someone who satisifes both of my needs: for someone "nice" and nurturing, and for someone who knows what she's doing and how to help me.

Rainbow,

Try not to disgard some of them because of their voice. When i first met my t, i didn't feel drawn to her at all. I thought she seemed kind of formal and not warm. I did not pick up on any caring in her voice at first. But as i got to know her, i began to experience her caring ways and nurturing voice. It kind of built up over time.

How about going to meet with 2 or 3 t's and see how you feel in their presence?

Rainbow- I am sorry I didnt read through everything on the thread, Maybe its because of the familiarity we have with each other I love you and I want you to know Im thinking about you and with you on this issue.

I have the same thing (of course) with a Ts voice, BUT its very true for me that its more my imagination than the reality that the T will be nice or nice depending on their voice. Ftt sounds like she is very very young on her voicemail and even in person, but she (I think) it a bit older than me. Maybe by 1 or 2 yrs. And she looks real young. But she is very knowledgable and I dont have mother-related anxiety over her. I feel comfortable and the anxiousness I felt with dt isnt there. Dt's voice is mature and professional (coldish, actually) and she wasnt a good therapist.

My opinion, that you didnt ask for Is to talk and evaluate the content of the conversation, even if they sound like quasi moto. See if they are responsive to you or feel overwhelmed by what you need and want. When I was talking to Ts on the phone I listened for coldness and a lack of responsiveness. I responded well to someone who seemed intereted in my issues and asked further questions that seemed to show insight.

And keep in mind that when I was doing this it made me miss DT VERY VERY much. So....dont go by that!

What's with the expressive arts T????

Good thread!

FWIW, I've had prospective Ts get pretty prickly with me during the intake session, when I've come across as if I know what I want. Some Ts are threatened by a client who is evaluating their options. It's so wrong, but it happens. This one you described sounds insecure to me. Seems like you're better off without her.

I'm so bad at this myself -- I tend to forget that therapists are people, and I just charge in asking for what I want. Some of them find it abrasive, even ones who aren't oversensitive or insecure. Lately in initial sessions with new Ts, I've tried to be more respectful and to seem like I'm open to the future. It's kind of like an audition for something, or a job interview. Better to focus on what the new T might have to offer, than to spend too much time talking about former experiences. But in your case, where you know exactly which kind of treatment you want right out of the gate, you'll have to state that of course...

And as my current T never ceases to remind me, we communicate with each other in ways that are non-verbal. So maybe adjust body language and facial expression a bit?

(sigh) I don't really know what I'm saying -- other than that you have to walk on eggshells with therapists, maybe

I talked with a T I liked today, and made an appointment! She and I talked for about half an hour. The biggest problem is that she has several offices, and is only in the one nearby 2 days/week. So, I'm not seeing her until a week from Monday.

She sounded warm and friendly, and remembered what I said in my message to her. She told me I had a lot of insights. I tried to explain what I wanted, and she said, "you feel like a piece of the puzzle is missing." That's exactly it! She's psychodynamic, but also eclectic.

I have a good feeling about her.
I also left another message for the other T. It's probably best if I meet more than one, though that may confuse me since they sound so different and I don't make decisions very easily. But at least I have some options now!

That's awesome, rainbow! I can't wait to hear all about your session

That sounds great, Rainbow! May the time pass quickly.

((((((((((((rainbow))))))))))))))))) that's great news. I'm looking forward to hearing about how the meeting goes.

I talked to the expressive arts T, a social worker, who does internal family systems therapy. She sounds so good too!! I asked if she had experience treating BPD and she said she doesn't like diagnoses. She does list PTSD as one of her strengths. She talked about parts, and specifically mentioned a 6 year old child. I told her that something happened to me when I was 6! So, if I see her I'll for sure get a chance to let my child part have its say! She is also learning EMDR.

Both of these prospective Ts are providers on my insurance plan. They are different, but sound equally interested in me and caring. The other one, a psychologist, has testimonials on her website. Her presentation seems a bit "too" polished, and that may intimidate me, but on the phone she sounded warm and not intimidating at all.

So, I will have to see how I feel when I meet each one. This is getting kind of exciting for me. I am almost glad I had that session with my T because it was a turning point. She gave me permission to see someone else. It was the first time she admitted that she hadn't been able to help me with the attachment issue. I've been so reluctant to let go of her even though many people have been telling me that she can't help me any more. This too, is a learning experience for me.

wow rainbow, it sounds like you may have two really good Ts to choose from. yea!