Journals.

I have 6yrs worth of journals. I couldn't turn them into something exotic as a book, because they are more like random scribbles. I don't look back on my journals for two reasons, one being I feel embarrassed at some of what I have written and secondly I don;t think I could decipher them much, so what I'm thinking of is burning them. Part of me feels I should hold onto them out of some sort of loyalty to my inner child/ren, but part of me doesn't want to hold onto them in the belief they still serve some sort of healing power just by existing. I'm torn, what have others done??

I have a whole drawer full of journals. I have reread them, but my t always scolds me for doing that because it always depresses me to look at them. He would like me to get rid of them. I'm still thinking about it. My husband throws away his journals as he goes. He doesn't want to look at all his crazy thoughts again. It does make sense.

Years ago, i came across my diary from when i was 10 years old, and i threw it away, embarrassed by the things that were written in it, and afraid someone in my family would somehow find and read it (though that was unlikely, as i was gettied married and moving out). Now, i HUGELY REGRET having thrown it out. I think it could have helped my therapy work now. Unfortunately, i've forgotten what was written in it. I can only recall that it was full of pain.

I got a whole bunch over about a 10 year period and was just starting a new one so reread each one (in order) and started taking notes of anything I wanted to "keep" into the front of my new journal. I ended up with maybe 10 pages of ideas and quotes, etc. and after I'd finish with each of my old journals, I tore it up, destroyed it. It felt good to "boil it down" to the stuff that seemed important to me. Of course, I still have that "new" journal, even though it is now 5-10 years old, LOL. But I don't have many of the other ones I've started after that. I kept to rereading and copying info and then getting rid of some of the old stuff. I do that with "papers" and magazine articles, etc. that I save too now. Feels really good go be more lightweight :-)

I have only been keeping a journal since I've started therapy. Occasionally I will go back and look for a particular issue. Sometimes its nice to see how I've changed in thought. Sometime it not so nice to see that I was struggling with the same exact issue 2 years ago. LOL So my occasional journal review has been a mixed bad. I don't know how long I will keep these files. Its nice to see where you've been, but I really don't want to risk them being found and read...even if after death. I don't think I like some of the aspects of myself presented in them.

Tree... I also came across a diary I kept around age 9-10. After reviewing the things that child wrote about... I also got upset and destroyed it. I recently told my T about finding it. She got excited until I told her I got rid of it. Part of me regrets that choice but another part thinks it was for the best. I know if I had kept it, I would have eventually given it to her to look at and...not sure there would have been a benefit of that. I read it, I know what was in there, if that story needs to be shared, the adult me should do it.

That's a great idea! That's what I'll do with all those old journals. Most of it is garbage anyway. Just a few pearls of wisdom here and there I want to keep.

I have the same feelings of embarrassment....But my T has encouraged me to turn my writings into a published book which I am working on.

I have a lot of fears with this. For one, I would never want my family finding out about the book. So, I assume that I will use an alias/pen name for privacy reasons. But then again, I guess that says a lot about where I am in keeping my "stuff" hidden.

I have a long way to go....

I keep mine but do not read them. I am doing so because it tracks my journey of being a survivor - a warrior. When I am older, I may look at them again so I can see just how much I really did overcome to get to the place where I will be. Then I can remind myself that it really was not always so wonderful - that I did "pay my dues" in the past. And I can celebrate the friends who helped me along the way as well.

The journals I have written since 2006 are all electronic. They would be huge if I ever printed them out, which I never will. They don't take up much space and I'm not sure if I will still have them in a few years. I was looking back at one of them a couple of days ago and really liked reading what I had written and remembering an important experience. I like having them electronic because if I need to find something, I just search on a key word.

I kept journals also from when I was a girl up until my mid-20s. These were hard copy. I don't know what happened to these, but I hope no one ever finds them.

Melba, it sounds like burning might serve some sort of cleansing ritual for you, or a way to say good-bye to those old memories and resolved problems. I think if you are sure you don't want them, burning them sounds fine. I like the idea of burning rather than shredding.

I have kept journals since I left home at 18, but I didn't start writing copiously until I entered therapy. Now I keep an art journal so there's pictures and words together, and I go through journals at a rapid pace. I think I'm in a stage where I have to get it all out over and over and over.

I don't go back to look at them very often, especially the older ones. I skimmed through the earliest ones after I was well into therapy and it broke my heart to see how much pain I was in, to see that I knew something was wrong, and to see how scared I was to trust anyone enough to get help. More than anything I feel empathy for the young woman I was and how scared I was. I didn't realize that, not when I was in it.

The most interesting thing I have found is proof of T's words that we learn and change in connection with one another. A lot of the realizations I have had in T, I see written in earlier journals (things like, I'm scared of trusting people; I've been traumatized; it was never about me) that never seemed to "stick" in my head until T and I went over and over them.

I think it's worth saving our work, even if we don't see any reason to right now. Ten years from now, Twenty years from now, maybe we will have a different perspective.

skeksi, you keep an art journal too? I have started doing that since last august, and it is AWESOME!

I have had a written journal since I was 11 (i'm 29 now)...but i'm only on my 4th one. I've gone months and months without writing in it...and I used it mainly as a record keeper. "Today I did X." In college when I started going through some tumultous stuff, I didn't write ANY of it down. haha.

I have only started writing in it for real, and with deeper feelings since starting therapy. I have read over them a few times, sort of to gauge where I am and where I have come from. I like to keep them.

I've kept journals off and on since I was about 18. They have sometimes kept me more or less sane during troubled times -- especially therapy. I wrote and wrote when I was seeing t#3, trying to make sense of what she was doing. I don't think I've ever thrown any away. Sometimes I have looked back at them. The last time I saw a therapist, I looked back at some of the journals I kept when I was seeing t#3 and saw that I was remembering some things not quite correctly.

From the other end: My mother kept journals off and on through her life. When I cleaned out her house when she had to move into a nursing home, I kept them -- but told myself I wouldn't read them until at least ten years after she died. That time has passed, but I have only looked at parts of a couple, which were from before I was born. I probably will look at more off and on through the years. At this point, they are in part historical artifacts. But they also in part confirm some of my impressions of her.

when i was in junior high my best friend gave me a little pink diary with a lock on it for my birthday. i've been journalling ever since and i'm in my 40s! i do throw them out as i don't want anyone to read them and i mostly don't find it helpful to reread them. i have saved ones from times in my life that have been particularly significant. i still have the little pink diary.

Thank you, cant use the thanks for this option as it doesn't work on mobile version lol, wait there must be a solution for that in one of my journals lol, but seriously I think i'll take a quick look at 1 or 2 then burn them, i'm not sure i'd want my kids to know ever some of the things I experienced, some things are best Left where they belong.

If you can find the time, it would be nice for your kids to leave the things that you wouldn't mind their reading.