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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2006
Location: U.S.
Posts: 2,723
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Feb 03, 2010 at 05:27 PM
#1
Hi All!
After the semester is through, I will be gradutating and likely moving provinces to Grad school. My T and I have been working a lot with my attachment issues, and one thought she brought up is if there was anything that SHE could do as a means to help ease me in to new attachment relationships (whether it is with another T, or simply friends). She suggested that she might be able to write me a letter, or give me something, but wants me to think it over until I see her next. I'm thinking that a letter might be nice, but the only thing is, in my experience with her, our written communications haven't really been all that great - in the sense that I just get SO much more out of seeing her in person and talking with her face-to-face. Shes not much of an email T. Anyhow, I was just wondering if anyone had any ideas?? I really have no idea what to say to her, and any help would be appreciated! Thanks  Jacq __________________ The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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Veteran Member
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Feb 03, 2010 at 06:42 PM
#2
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Infamous Vampire Duck
Community Liaison
Member Since Dec 2009
Location: Mid West
Posts: 12,742
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Feb 03, 2010 at 06:43 PM
#3
Well I can only say what I might like to have, to me either a picture or possibly a recording of her voice would be comforting to have. I'm not sure how such a request would be recieved by a therapist though.
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Dec 2008
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,124
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Feb 03, 2010 at 06:58 PM
#4
i would love a photograph of the both of us. but has there been anything during your relationship that is specific to the both of you? e.g., pdoc could just as easily give me a book (we discuss our books all the time - often reading the same thing) and i would be just as pleased.
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Feb 03, 2010 at 07:47 PM
#5
Yes a photograph! I have asked my T if I could take a picture of him for that reason. Of course he said yes, and it really does help. I have little object consistancy so being able to "see" him and others when I am away is a big help.
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2006
Location: U.S.
Posts: 2,723
18 194 hugs
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Feb 03, 2010 at 08:25 PM
#6
hmm thanks for the thoughts everyone!
I actually already have an audio-tape of her voice doing a mindfulness exercise so I feel as though that will come in handy. As for a picture... I'm not too sure. Obviously I would love to have one, but I don't think I could ever ask for one! 
__________________ The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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Magnate
Member Since Apr 2008
Location: N/A
Posts: 2,489
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Feb 03, 2010 at 08:30 PM
#7
I have a note my T gave me, and it means a lot to me. Not so much the words--they were not anything important or particularly reassuring--but just having something he wrote helped. Helps.
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 jacq10
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2007
Location: East of the Sun, West of the Moon
Posts: 3,982
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Feb 03, 2010 at 08:52 PM
#8
I like the letter and photo idea. I asked T to write me a note in my journal and he did, two years ago when he was going on vacation. Then I took a picture of him with my cell. it worked like a charm.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Posts: 304
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Feb 03, 2010 at 08:55 PM
#9
(( JAQ10))
Though i won't be leaving my T anytime soon, she bought me a teddy bear It's worked for me escpecially since i live alone. It's been very helpful when T isn't with me. What would you like?
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2006
Location: U.S.
Posts: 2,723
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Feb 03, 2010 at 09:32 PM
#10
ah, I would love something that I could hold onto like a teddy bear
 Still though, I don't think I could ever ask her for something like that. shucks, I have no idea what I WILL be able to ask her for! lol __________________ The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Location: US
Posts: 305
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Feb 04, 2010 at 01:13 AM
#11
A couple of months before I moved I bought these little animal figurines. They reminded me of T and I. When I moved I decided to purchase another pair of them and give them to T. These stupid little figurines give me so much power. They are small enough that I can keep them in my purse so whenever I need old T, she's there. Just think about something that's representative of what you and T have and it will probably be a helpful transitional object. It's doesn't even have to be from her. I bought these myself. She bought me a book and wrote me notes in it and that was/is very, very special to me.. but also 100% unexpected. You can't really ask a T to do something like that. Also, when I moved into my new apartment I purchased a plant like one that she had in her office - that might be something else to consider.
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Account Suspended
Member Since Jul 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 1,946
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Feb 04, 2010 at 02:48 AM
#12
i dunno, everything I think would work normally looses its significance pretty quick...
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Member
Member Since Dec 2009
Posts: 156
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Feb 04, 2010 at 04:12 PM
#13
An old T of mine and I swapped CD's of some of our favourite music and hings we thought we would both like. It was really lovely to be able to share our love of music. She also gave me the cushion that I always held onto in sessions.
Those were some helpful things for me 
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jacq10
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Pandita-in-training
Member Since Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
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Feb 04, 2010 at 04:57 PM
#14
I did like mightaswelllive sort of and gave my T some little thing of mine to "hold" for me until I asked for it back (only in this case you'd never ask for it back). Giving some of you to her might work? My T traveled a whole lot, all over the world, and when we terminated I gave her a little glass globe of the world, a paperweight sort of thing (that was blue which I knew was her favorite color). That way I can picture her looking at it, wherever she is, and thinking of me.
__________________ "Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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Magnate
Member Since Aug 2006
Location: U.S.
Posts: 2,723
18 194 hugs
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Feb 04, 2010 at 06:42 PM
#15
I like the idea of me giving something to T... but I think I'm too afraid that she won't think anything of it, and it won't mean anything... and I have no way of knowing.
Its sad but, I can't think of much else that I would want other than a hug  I don't care if I won't be able to actually take this hug "in transition" with me... but its all I want from her  We've already had (me and T) this discussion around hugs and so I know how she feels on the subject.... I just guess I wish that I could be the one that she breaks the rule for... even if its not until our last session. sigh. Thank you all so much for the responses.. I really appreciate the suggestions
__________________ The unexamined life is not worth living. -Socrates |
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2009
Posts: 300
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Feb 05, 2010 at 12:07 AM
#16
I am sorry your therapist won't hug you. Being hugged by my therapist makes all the difference in the world. It just feels safe and I feel cared for. Something I never felt as a kid. Sometimes I don't want to let go of her and she will hug me as long as I need it usually it is at the end of a session. I hope you can get a hug for your last session.
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Administrator
Community Support Team 
Member Since Apr 2009
Location: west coast, USA
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Feb 05, 2010 at 12:32 AM
#17
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