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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2009
Posts: 7,516
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#1
I hate taking meds. I hate that I have to take meds to be happy. I usually only adjust my meds after "kicking and screaming" that I don't want to, don't need it, can get by without them. However, next week when I see my pdoc, I think I need to ask him to write me a prescription for more meds. I know what I'm going to ask for. I've been on them for brief stints before to get me out of the worst places. I'm scared that if I don't ask that I'm just going to keep sinking. But at the same time I'm scared to ask. I don't know how he will react. When I first saw him he asked if I wanted to go back on them as I wrote them down in my history of medication. I'm scared that I wont ask him next week. That I will try to pull off the "Googley is just as fine as she has ever been" routine. It isn't as hard to do for the brief fifteen minutes that I see him. Has anyone else ever gone into their pdocs office and outright asked for more meds? I'm scared he will think I'm weak.
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2007
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 1,728
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#2
You are not weak and your pdoc is probably the last person on earth who would think you were weak for asking for medicines. Remember that's actually his MAIN job; medication management. While its wonderful you haven't had to take anything for so long, its not a failure to admit you need them now.
__________________ "School is shortened, discipline relaxed, philosophies, histories, languages dropped, English and spelling gradually gradually neglected, finally almost completely ignored. Life is immediate, the job counts, pleasure lies all about after work. Why learn anything save pressing buttons, pulling switches, fitting nuts and bolts?" Bradbury, Ray Fahrenheit 451 p 55-56 |
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googley
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Veteran Member
Member Since Jul 2008
Location: The big apple
Posts: 419
16 |
#3
Quote:
He will definately not think your weak. I'm sure his reaction will be that you are advocating for yourself to get better. I think most Pdocs want to know when the meds are not working so that they can tweak them to make you feel better. You and your Pdoc are in this thing together. You will only get better if you ask for more help. __________________ EJ |
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BlueMoon6, googley
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#4
I've absolutely gone into my pdoc and asked for more meds or med changes. That is what he's there for. He will be glad you are being straight with him and asking for help when you need it. My pdoc always says, "Thank you for being honest with me."
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googley
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2009
Posts: 7,516
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#5
Thank you all for the advice. I think part of the problem with asking for help from my pdoc is that I don't feel that we are in this together. He always just says that I should make a new appointment whenever I feel like it. The clinic (for some really weird reason) doesn't allow for making appointments for more than a month in advance. So I always end up having to call back to make an appointment. In a way his suggestion of just making an appointment whenever I feel like makes it feel like he doesn't care about what happens. I've never felt this disconnect with any of my other pdocs. I didn't really want to see him, but didn't have much of a choice money wise. I don't feel from him a feeling of 'I want to see you in X amount of time to make sure everything is okay'. Instead it is more of a 'let me know when there is a problem, but until then I wont even think about anything to do with you.'
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#6
Are you currently on meds? If you aren't, that's probably why he leaves it up to you to decide when to come in. Once you are on meds, he'll want to see you more regularly.
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2009
Posts: 7,516
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#7
I'm already on meds (though been stable on the doses for three years). I'm supposed to get blood tests done every three months, but he hasn't done that either (I haven't been tested since I was with my last pdoc in August). I feel like it is all my responsibility for everything. Like I don't get a lot of help from him. He did call me to let me know he is on crutches so he needs to change our procedures next week. He suggested that maybe I should wait until he is in a walking cast in a couple of weeks, but I gave him a suggestion of how we may be able to work around it. So he is considerate in that way, but still it feels like there is little connection. And I don't feel like I can talk to him about it. It feels more like a medical doctor's appointment than a mental health appointment. And since I'm really good at postponing going to the doctor (I think I broke my toe recently and never went to get it checked out- even though it still hurts in places and it is three weeks later), it is easier to do that with this also.
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Magnate
Member Since Jul 2009
Location: USA
Posts: 2,570
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#8
I think it is great that you are going outside of your "box" to take good care of yourself. You can do this, its OK. That is what pdoc wants to hear. That you are doing well or not well on what he has given you. If you feel that you are sinking, there is no need to feel that way on medication. Tell pdoc and see what he says. If you need to go up, then so be it. You are on the meds to feel better and improve your life, if it doesnt do that at this dose, there isnt much of a point to it, right?
I just had to adjust things with my meds and I felt like I had this huge crash off of them. But now I feel better after some adjustment. That is, unfortunately, the way it works. The dose or med needs to be changed or altered and sometimes it takes a while to figure that out. I wish it could be instantaneous! |
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googley
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Apr 2007
Location: East of the Sun, West of the Moon
Posts: 3,982
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#9
Hi Googley,
M pdoc also asks me when I want to come in again. I don't think that means that he doesn't care but he is an important part of my team. T is the one who's truly in it "with me." Another thing is that meds are a way to let us live our lives the way we want. It's not necessarily a bad thing. If you can't figure out what to ask for, why not tell him what is bothering you and ask him what his recommendations are? __________________ [/url] |
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googley
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#10
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Moderator
Community Support Team Member Since Mar 2006
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 11,515
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#11
Googley,
You are definitely not weak for wanting to ask for more meds. if your current combo isn't working for you, then asking for help is being strong. Besides that''s what pdoc's are paid and trained to do - meds. If your not getting blood work done that should be done, ask about that too, becasue that's serious. But maybe your pdoc assumes you're getting it done by your family Dr., that's how it works with me and my pdoc. He prescribes, but my liver monitoring is done by my family Dr. I can really relate too, to not feeling like your pdoc is in it with you. I was assigned to my pdoc, by my psych hospital, when my last really good pdoc left. I don't particularly like him, but he can manage my meds, and he can admit me if I need it, and he's someone I can call if I have a crisis. I consider my T, my primary health care provider. My pdoc and I have a professional relationship, nothing more and that's ok. I had to advocate hard to even be reassigned to a new pdoc after my last good pdoc left - the hospital tried to just drop all her patients. So remember you're your own best advocate, so speak up for yourself. --splitimage |
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googley
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Wise Elder
Member Since Jan 2009
Posts: 7,516
15 486 hugs
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#12
Quote:
I know that my pdoc is more focused on the meds. But I still expect to feel some sort of caring or connection. I'm not expecting him to do therapy but to act like he cares. I would change pdocs but he is the only one I can see because he is associated with my school medical center. When I was in undergrad I felt more caring from the NPs at my school health clinic who I only saw maybe two or three times a year (and I often didn't see the same one). I found that my pcp who I had in high school who I saw even less had more interpersonal skills and I felt cared about every time I saw her. Quote:
Is it unreasonable to want to feel like my doctor cares? I'm not asking for therapy from my pdoc, I guess just some better interpersonal skills. I've been able to drop the one before that I didn't connect with, but another one I stayed with and it didn't work. But right now I don't have a choice. |
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