[TayQuincy]

I was thinking about all the recent posts about therapeutic relationships and the boundaries within this kind of relationship. I remember my T once told me that every patient is unique and that she doesn't have the same kind of relationship with everyone. Basically, she doesn't treat everyone the same and doesn't have the same exact boundaries with each patient. She takes into consideration many factors and tries to tailor therapy to the individual's unique needs and personality. None of us are exactly the same, even if we share the same diagnoses.

I think it's clear from what people post about their own therapy/therapist styles that one size does not fit all each of us have different needs and goals in therapy. There is a lot of room between having extremely rigid boundaries and having poor boundaries. The boundaries are different to a certain degree with each patient. This is why some Ts hug some patients and not others. It might be that a hug would be harmful to one and healing to another. Therapists have to use good judgement and know their patients.

I think people sometimes think that another's therapy is unhealthy or even unethical because it is not what their own therapeutic experience is, or they wouldn't feel comfortable with it themselves. I think I have been guilty of judging others' therapy experiences myself. But having read through some recent posts, I am grateful that my t has treated me as a unique individual, and doesn't have the rigid boundaries that some others do. She is completely ethical and still is able to think outside the box.

Having said that, I realize, sadly, that some T's are unethical and have poor boundaries and those t's may even use words like "unique" and "special" and "different" in order to abuse patients too. So i understand why some people see red flags and such from hearing other therapy stories. There are bad Ts out there, unfortunately. But, my experiences with both of my t's have been tremendously positive and healing for me, thanks to their ability and willingness to go beyond in order to help me.

Good post. I agree. Some people have had bad experiences so they are hyper-sensitive to what may seem inappropriate to them. I understand that. But like you said, we all have very different and personal experiences with our t's, and for most of us, it is working very well. Isn't it amazing how a good t finds what each of us needs and works with us as the individuals we are?

[jennaorgana]

you have you feel a relationship. no judgement before hand. you'll know when it's right and when something is wrong. it's personal.

really good post.

[ahc82]

Good post.

I know Ive cringed at a lot of posts on here about T's hugging / saying they love their client - but thats just because it would be unbearable for me.

I cant stand any type of touch / declaration of love, so it would harm me - but I understand it helps some people.

Different strokes for different folks.