[looking4polaris]

How many of you ask your T questions? I'm not talking about the kinds of questions you ask at first to find out the details of therapy or regular appt. scheduling stuff or off-limits personal questions. I guess I mean more like the questions that Ts ask us except you do the asking.

I like to ask T questions and he always gives thoughtful responses (and almost never replies with the "what makes you ask that" question). I've asked him lots about his views on certain literature, art, music, why he displays certain things in his office, what he's looking at when he looks out the window, and, of course, why he's asking particular questions when he's doing the asking.

If you do ask questions of your T, what do you ask? Do you get answers?

Not sure if I'm explaining myself very well with this, but I am interested to read what your experiences have been.

i ask my t all sorts of questions...i figure almost anything is fair game..whats the worst thing that has ever happened to you, the best, what do you think about that, politics, religion, dogs, etc.

books, history, travel, gossip, working out,

we talk about her kids choices of careers (since i have experience with one of their choices)..all sorts of stuff.

i figure if its off limits she will let me know..

hell sometimes we even touch on some of my mental health issues...

stumpy

[Snakebit]

Originally Posted by stumpy

hell sometimes we even touch on some of my mental health issues...

stumpy

Too funny!

[jexa]

I ask her things like why she is using a certain term to describe something, where she drew certain connections, why she said something she said in a previous session, etc. Oh and recently I asked her (just for reassurance) if she ever looked me up on PC. I told her before the name of this site so a part of me was paranoid that she might look me up!

I think the next questions I want to ask my T are:

Can we go on a walk today for our session?
and
Is it okay if I take off my shoes?

[looking4polaris]

Originally Posted by jexa

I think the next questions I want to ask my T are:

Can we go on a walk today for our session?
and
Is it okay if I take off my shoes?

So, does your T do walking sessions? I had a former T who would do outside sessions from time to time (not so much for walking, but to let me smoke). I don't think current T would do walking...but then, I've never asked

Even though I never wear shoes at home, I could never bring myself to take shoes off at therapy. I try to keep as much of me covered from view as possible. I might have to get my hands on a nice high-collared/down to floor Victorian sort of get-up just to make sure he sees as little of me as possible

I say go for it and good luck with your questions to your T.

[jexa]

I actually don't know if this T does walking sessions but I want to ask. I think she is open to anything that is not a boundary crossing and I don't see why going on a walk for a session would be a problem. She is very reasonable and always willing to do whatever as long as it is not harmful, so we'll see.

And the taking off shoes.. I think I will only do this if I am SURE that my feet don't smell, haha!

[zooropa]

I have a hard time asking my T questions. It has taken me almost a year and a half to even think about asking her things like "how was your vacation?".

sometimes I read people's posts here and it makes me realize how closed up and tight I am in therapy, and how hard that must be for my T, especially at first when I didn't talk much and was totally disconnected from my emotions and pretty much everything else. I don't remember much of the first 6 mos of my therapy but I have a feeling it must have been frustrating for T.

Even now, I feel so overexposed and examined, like being under a microscope, when I'm in there and every word and gesture has to be thought about ahead of time. It's exhausting. I wish I could just be ME.

Originally Posted by looking4polaris

Even though I never wear shoes at home, I could never bring myself to take shoes off at therapy.

I literally took off my shoes at my VERY FIRST session with T lol I knew I wanted to sit all curled up in the chair and I didn't want to put my shoes on T's furniture. I only wear clogs or birkenstocks so it's really easy for me to slip my shoes on and off. In over two years of therapy, there was only one session where I kept my shoes on - I actually remember the session. I wanted to be able to RUN away if I needed to.

As for questions...yes, I ask my T lots and lots and lots of questions. About anything and everything - personal things, impersonal things, whatever. He does always stop and think and give me really thoughtful answers, which I really appreciate. I can only think of two questions I've asked T that he didn't answer.

When I started therapy, I REALLY didn't want T to be a "real" person, but now I think his "human-ness" is really helpful to me.

[Typo]

It took me bout a year, but now I ask questions all the time, I was the quenessnital "why" kid when I was younger, and at 20 I"m still always asking, why, what, where, when, how does that work..etc etc...

Sometimes I ask things and T just looks at me and laughs at my burning curiosity

[bluesylady]

Hi Polaris, btw I love your name. Calming......sounds like a sci-fi novel. I don't think I've ever asked t any questions. It seems like I walk into t and BAM.......we're there....in the midst of all my crap and it's all about me. Before I"m done with t I'm definatly (maybe ) going to ask two questions that have bothered my from the very begining. One of these days I'll do it. I swear.

It's nice that you have such an open, comfortable relationship with your t.

Be well and take care,
bl

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by stumpy

hell sometimes we even touch on some of my mental health issues...

LOL!!

I do ask T a million questions, mostly about psychology.

[velcro003]

I hardly ever ask my T questions. Just recently (after 2 yrs), I can sometimes ask her what she means by stuff if I am confused, but that's it.

Oh yes. Lots of questions. So far he's never refused to answer one.

Asking questions enhances understanding -- at least in theory.

[/quote]
the kind of questions I ask t are not about him,
mostly i ask things like "does that make sense" if i have just explained something to him
or what does that mean? or the one i used to ask almost every session "is this going to work?" and he would always say.."that's my hope"... or the big one i still ask, even after ten plus years "are you going to kick me out?" i am still afraid and he never has kicked me out...i don't know why he hasn't kicked me out, but still I keep thinking if i piss him off enough he will....

[mightaswelllive]

i like to ask my therapists to tell me what i dont see. i usually ask every couple of months. i've just started with a new T and i dropped it on her before the end of the session to give her lots of time to think about it. i said, "t, next week i want to talk about what you hear/see from me that i might not be getting" and she looked at me with a face that said "what an insightful request"

<3 this question

[splitimage]

My T goes out of town a lot to deliver training or to speak at conferences, so I usually ask her how the trip / presentation was at the start of the session - it seems polite and is a good way to ease into the therapy, plus I'm genuinely interested. Otherwise I don't ask any questions other than to clarify if she's asked or said something I don't understand.

First session with new pdoc by contrast - I positively grilled him. I had so many questions we ran over session by half an hour. Serves him right for only booking 20 min for doing an intake assessment.

--splitimage