[mixedup_emotions]

I sent T an email explaining about the episode I had yesterday and the feelings I had....and said that knowing how much more there is, while losing my ability to protect myself with the walls that kept me safe for years, scares me.

I also said that I am afraid to step forward, fearing that I will spiral downwards and will need his help through it. I said that feeling like I need him is extremely uncomfortable and scares me.

....So, there it is. I put it out there. UGH.

[jexa]

Wow!!!! That is amazing MUE! Ugh but now the waiting game. But I bet your T is going to respond really well and be really proud of you for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable. Let us know how he responds!!

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by jexa

Wow!!!! That is amazing MUE! Ugh but now the waiting game. But I bet your T is going to respond really well and be really proud of you for allowing yourself to be so vulnerable. Let us know how he responds!!

Yes, the dreaded waiting game....And actually, I'm just horrified that I even sent it, even though I know it's what I needed to do.... *sigh*

Sharing these feelings with him helps me feel even more anxious about seeing him at group on Tuesday...or going to my next session.

And he wants me to be WITHOUT the klonopin....God help me....

[WePow]

(((((( mu !! )))))))))) you can do it ... we know you can! :-) Sometimes it is hard to say what must be said. But you said it. So that is what is needed.

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by WePow

(((((( mu !! )))))))))) you can do it ... we know you can! :-) Sometimes it is hard to say what must be said. But you said it. So that is what is needed.

Thanks so much for your confidence....It is so incredibly hard....I am on anxiety overload at the moment about it all....ACK....

I'm in a "therapy sucks" mode right now....

[WePow]

MU - just hang in there and take deep breaths. Write out why you are anxiouos. What is it that T could say? Why do you think T would respond in whatever way that makes you anxious? Maybe that will just help you process through the anxiety?

[velcro003]

yay! i'm proud of you. congrats

[Sannah]

Yah!!!!!!!!

[darkrunner]

Mixed Up Emotions -
You are so brave!

[zooropa]

wow, I know that must have been scary to put that out there, but you knew it needed to be said. I'm so proud of you!!!
just keep breathing...

[mixedup_emotions]

Thanks everyone.....

First I was all panicky about it...and now I'm feeling just plain sick to my stomach about it.....I feel ashamed...and angry about feeling vulnerable and needy.

Ugh.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

I feel ashamed...and angry about feeling vulnerable and needy.

What thoughts/beliefs do you have about feeling vulnerable and needy?

[mixedup_emotions]

Originally Posted by Sannah

What thoughts/beliefs do you have about feeling vulnerable and needy?

Feeling vulnerable scares me, for fear of being hurt....and seeming needy helps me to feel weak and dependent which feels unsafe.

[Sannah]

I see, then trust comes back into this? Can you trust that T won't hurt you?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Can you trust that T won't hurt you?

And that if he does hurt you (like Tree and her T) that you 2 can work through it? And if this happens you will learn and grow from it.