I almost can't believe it, but I think I have come to a place, at least for now, where I need less of T. I go for a LONG time - like almost all day - without thinking about him, and if I e-mail, it's a sentence or two. I still NEED him, and I'm not even ready to give up my twice-weekly sessions, but the bigness of the need isn't so big anymore.

I have allowed myself in the past week to be OPEN with some of the people in my life. I mean, wide open. And they listen and care and help me.

And the AMAZING thing is that that it feels like therapy is working. There is no way - NO WAY - that I would have ever ever ever ever reached out to another person 3 years ago. But T's gentleness and patience and caring must have finally taken root somewhere in my brain, because when someone who was concerned about me this week reached out to me, I let him in. And when that person ended up being safe, I was able to open up to other people.

It feels scary, but I am trying to let myself feel scared and do it anyway. And I feel pretty vulnerable and raw, but no one has hurt me. And that's huge.

I don't know. I guess I wanted to share, because I know that people here will get what a big, huge deal it is to have a glimmer of hope that all of this hard work is actually going to pay off in the end.

I'm so glad you shared this. I am so so happy for you....and it encourages me to know that you're getting to this place by being raw and vulnerable and having your needs met.

After today, I'm beginning to believe that this is possible for me too.

[googley]

((((((Tree)))))))

That is so amazing. And yes it is wonderful to hear that there may be a time when I don't feel so dependent on T. I'm so happy for you!!!!

[moonrise]

Awesome, Tree! I love hearing success stories like yours, that show me therapy does, indeed, work.

[zooropa]

thank you, tree. It's great to know that the hard work really does have a pay off somewhere down the line.

[darkrunner]

(((((((((Treehouse))))))))))

I'm so glad things have settled down for you a bit, and that someone has cared about you and reached out to you, and that you were able to accept their help. You have worked SO HARD to get where you are.

You so deserve all the caring and gentleness in the world.

congratulations I am very proud of you

[WePow]

((((((((( tree ))))))))))))) that is very amazing to read. It is wonderful that you have worked so hard to get to that healing and to be able to be well in life. That is so wonderful!!

[Fartraveler]

Congrats, Tree. You are such an inspiration. It is always so encouraging and enlightening to read your posts.

Take care,
-Far