So, after those really emotional sessions last week, today in T, I felt totally numb. I felt connected to T, and enjoyed the conversation, enjoyed being there, but no real feelings attached to what we were saying. Purely intellectual.

I've been grieving/crying/aching all week...then today nothing.

Is that normal? Should I be worried that I've stuffed the feelings again? Or is this a natural ebb of grieving?

[jexa]

I don't know, griffin, I think this is a natural ebb of grieving. I think if you felt connected to T and enjoyed the session that is a very good thing, and I don't think it's abnormal at all. One thing that I think T's may not explain sometimes when they are trying to get you to feel your feelings more is that just because you don't feel bad, doesn't mean you are "stuffing feelings." You did feel this week. You hurt and you grieved. The grieving feelings have passed for now, perhaps later they will come again, and if you are willing to feel them when they come again, you are not "stuffing." You are experiencing your emotions authentically. And that's what T's want. They don't want us to cry and be all weepy all the time; that's not authentic. Having incredibly intense emotions all of the time is not authentic.

Feeling okay and connected to T is an authentic feeling, too. Maybe it's not as intense, but it is a feeling. What feeling is it? Do you feel peaceful? At ease? Mildly content? Don't stuff that feeling because you feel like you should be grieving more. Let yourself experience this feeling, too.

[darkrunner]

I think what Jexa wrote is very wise.

I'm glad you had a good session with T.

Originally Posted by jexa

Having incredibly intense emotions all of the time is not authentic.

Feeling okay and connected to T is an authentic feeling, too. Maybe it's not as intense, but it is a feeling. What feeling is it? Do you feel peaceful? At ease? Mildly content? Don't stuff that feeling because you feel like you should be grieving more. Let yourself experience this feeling, too.

Thank you. I think "peaceful" is a good way to describe how I felt. The sadness was there, but I felt at peace with it....like it was sitting with me there on the couch, but not overtaking me at the moment, and I was able to enjoy the conversation and connection, too.

[Kiya]

yep - i'd say normal =) we process, take time off, relax, enjoy, have intellectual conversation (refreshing!), and then go back through it all (maybe) again later. like comercial breaks in the Halmark shows =)
oh good call - ebb and flow. ((((((((Griffin)))))))

[WePow]

I also tend to cycle with deep emotions and then dullness. From the way T explained it, the body releases chemicals in the times of high stress. After that "punch" of emotional overload, the body will go into a sort of shock and numbness. This will allow the chemicals to reabsorb. Then the numbness will go away and the body is ready to go again.

[peaches100]

Griffinp,

Yes, I would also agree that the emotions ebb and flow. I had a session yesterday in which i was incredibly emotional -- cried so much i have puffy eyes today. But today I'm feeling somewhat numb/calm.