how do you self-soothe?

thanks, blue
I'm feeling better. Lots of new meds on board, and the antibiotics seem to be working on the UTI finally.
It's really, really sunny today which is sort of rare in the part of the world, and that always helps my mood so much.
Also I have my little one, and she is keeping me distracted. I'm not as triggered with the abandonment crap as I was yesterday. My stomach doesn't hurt when ever I think about it. I got so much help here in the last few days. I don't deserve it, but I'll take it anyway.

I'm glad you're feeling better......and you DO deserve the support!!! Do you have any idea how much you've helped me? TREMENDOUSLY... Over the last few days, I don't think I could've gotten through it this far without you and my other PC friends.

Thanks for posting this thread, it's a great idea!

While staying at the hospital, I have learned that taking walks outside are very soothing. It gives me the chance to think about anything I want, or I can just think of nothing and appreciate the views of the outdoors.

I also like meditation, stretching, listening to comforting music, and escaping into a good book. Talking here on PC helps me lots too.

zoo, this is so great that you were able to self-soothe yourself at the parade. one thing i found interesting when i read the highly sensitive person is that sometimes what we think is shyness/social phobia is really being highly sensitive to our environment and we get overloaded. the loud noise is a perfect example of this as it is overstimulating for someone who is highly sensitive and it makes you want to flee. realizing i'm highly sensitive has been helpful in that i know it's not always being around people but just too much sensory overload. there are actually studies that show this to be true. what i'm trying to say is we're not as fearful of people as we may think we are. we just can't handle too many of them, along with a lot of other sensory input, at the same time.

This is SOOO true. I find large, crowded social events can be overwhelming unless I make it small by talking intimately with a few friends. Im glad you posted this- it seems to be just the way some of us are wired.

Oh, Zoo, those UTIs can be an absolute nightmare. I had a recurrent one for about 8 mos or so last year and it made me feel so sick and my whole body hurt. What antibiotic are you taking? The whole thing caused me to become allergic to cipro and levaquin. Im glad the antib are working for you.

And its nice to have your little one by your side. You DO deserve every bit of support that everyone gives you. Not just because you give so much support here, but because you deserve it for you.

I usually find self-soothing by taking a little nap. Has a calming affect for me, personally.

thanks for that, bloom. That really sounds like me. I think I need to read that book!

that's interesting, I never thought about it that way, but yes, if I have my own people with me I can handle crowds so much better. Even if I just have my kids, it makes it smaller. That's a great insight. I learn so much from you, blue!

I was on doxycycline but I had a bad reaction to that and I think that's what was causing the vomiting. They switched me to cipro on Friday and I stopped throwing up. The UTI seems to be responding to that, I still have a lot of abdominal pain which I don't know if it's from the endometritis or the cysts. I go back to the dr on Wed.

Zoo, thank you for this WONDERFUL thread!! I am glad you are starting to feel better, too. My Ts have all told me that I need to self-soothe, but they said I had to find what works for me. Sometimes I'm not sure if it's distracting or soothing (I like that thread too).

1. I love to be near or in water, preferaby a large body like a lake or ocean. I don't live near an ocean, but when I travel, I can just watch the waves, forever content! I do have lakes I can go to. Or swimming pools. Floating on my back is so relaxing. I like hot showers, and hate baths though.

2. Playing with sand is soothing for me! Yeah, I never grew up. I don't have so much opportunity for that, but I like baking with brown sugar because it's the same consistency. Sounds weird, I know.

3. Artwork, if I can get past my perfectionist tendencies. I became immersed in the collage during therapy so maybe I can do something like that. I have an idea that I would like finger-painting; I used to as a kid!

4. Music is soothing to me, though can bring up too many nostalgic, bittersweet memories sometimes. Singing when no one is around, too.

5. I love to read, and a good novel is both distracting and soothing.

6. PC can be soothing and distracting but sometimes it can be the opposite.

I like reading everyone's responses in this thead. Thanks, Zoo!

I just want my T to soothe me better I'm so bad at doing it for myself.

I'm not even sure what ways my T soothes me. I guess I could look at that and start trying to find ways to do the same thing for myself? I know that she is very validating, and that helps. I know that I can ask her to tell me I'm ok, or I'm going to be ok, or I'm not going to feel like this forever, and she will do that, and it helps. But I think a lot of it is just knowing she is there, that SOMEBODY is there, that is so soothing.

I understand the importance of self-soothing, but I also know that we need other people in our lives. It's another dialectic, I guess. Needing to be self-soothing and also knowing how to ask people in our lives for what we need from them.

Great Thread! Two of my favorite ways to self soothe-

1. being outside, especially in the woods- camping, hiking or just a walk.

Today I was having a hard time after a weekend away coming back to reality, so I stopped at one of my favorite county parks with waterfalls, big rocks, woods- a few hours there and we both had a new perspective!

2. Watching sappy movies and having a good cry- seems the more I've seen it the better it is. Two of my favorites, Beaches and Harold and Maude.

1) meditative music - ocean sounds or the TV channel of meditation music, while in bed with eyes closed, just listening with a blank mind (that last bit is hard)
2) hug my kids, play with my kids, homework with kids - my kids are a great distraction from my troubles
3) cooking, esp. making muffins or cookies with my kids.
4) surfing the internet
5) watching mindless TV with husband. Sometimes only very funny stuff is OK, like 30 Rock. Other times, last year esp., I really needed sci-fi violence (like Terminator) - real but not real.
6) church; I was able to go to a short service fairly often on my lunch break last spring and summer. Just show up and listen - the daily readings or story of the saint for the day often had a little nugget of hopefulness or insight for me, and the Eucharist connected me to my community. I'm in a liturgical denomination (Episcopal), so the common ritual is very soothing even when it's not my home church.
7) exercise - sometimes some yoga on the WiiFit Plus, other times a walk/jog, and swimming in the summer.

I'm glad you asked this because I'm enjoying reading all the replies and getting some great inspiration. Here's what I do...

1. Take a nap. This is usually my first choice when I get overwhelmed by anything. I just totally shut down and sleep.

2. Listen to music.

3. Color mandalas. The patterns are soothing to me.

4. Shop for books. (this is not a good method because I have way too many books and don't need to spend money, but I do find it very, very soothing. Thank goodness for paperbackswap.com and the library)

5. Reread an old favorite book from childhood. (I really find this soothing. Sometimes I will watch an old favorite movie instead).

Good luck. I hope you are able to add some things to your self-soothing repertoire.

I went to the zentangle website, it beats the heck out of the old etch-e-sketch from my younger days. Painting helps me and coloring. My parents always colored later in life and I find when I color I think about the happy times as a kid and having my parents around.

Well, I think a lot of people aren't able to self sooth because they really dislike their inner child. If you dislike her, you really dislike yourself. If you dislike yourself you aren't going to be kind and gentle to yourself and take good care of yourself. So, if you dislike your inner child your first step might be making friends with her.

ack! Three of my "self soothing" options have been labeled "escapes" by T. so I guess I won't be listing those Other than that I might

- pray
- journal
- listen to music
- read
- mess about with beads

My T says "it's not rocket science". Do what ever calms you down, what relaxes you, even if it is just a cup of tea, warm bath or walking the dog.

For me it is ...
Listening to my iPod
Relaxing in my chair on a clear night with the moon and stars
Going to a quite beach and sitting with sand and water on my feet
Driving on a nice day with my car roof top down and the sun warming my face.
Gardening or just sitting looking at the flowers and birds.
Walking or walking/hiking in the park/woods
Parking at the canal watching the sun set.

Xtree

Xtree I want to come live at your house!! imagine having the beach so close by!

actually I forgot one. My back room overlooks a big stream and when I open the windows I can listen to the water sounds & the birds. that is very calming.

Thanks sittingatwatersedge!
I certainly know what my soothing and safety things are but reaching for them when I need them is the problem. I am still learning!

Xtree

thanks everyone SO MUCH for your replies to this thread. Today I'm going to make a list of all the things I read here that sound like they would work for me. I know there are a lot of them!

I'm not really good at it either, but here are the things I do

Read books and re-read old books
Watch my favorite movies or just TV
Sleep
Walk or play with the dogs
Learn Spanish
Play on Facebook/PC
Take a bath with scented salts
Lay out in the sun and tan behind the house
Go to the beach with the hubby and the dogs

knit
color mandalas
eat chewy candy
get on pc
read, if I have a good book
call a friend

Ooh good thread!

If I'm in a very depressed state I most likely will just shut down and sleep. I'm ok with that, and so is my T. She goes "There are much worse ways to cope." So true.
Usually if I'm feeling that low, sleep is the only thing that gets me through.

If I'm feeling not so low, I will:
Doodle/paint/scour my favorite art blogs. Drawing mandalas have actually really been soothing. You can just get lost in the meditative/repetitive motions of drawing them. Check out http://www.flickr.com/groups/handmademandalas/ this flickr group for some real inspiration!
Take my camera out for a walk
Put on my favorite music loud and dance around...mainly in my undies
Put on my saddest music and lay face down in my bed. lol...depends on my mood!
Pet my kitty. He's very soothing
I used to play Rock Band a lot...though I haven't in awhile
Write, write and write in my journal

I journal, but there are many good ideas here. I hope to try some!