[Christina86]

So. In approximately three weeks, I say goodbye to my psychiatrist. Who I've seen for like 3 years now (YIKES! ) and have really grown to like and appreciated his feedback.

Problem.

I don't know how to end our time together. Seriously. The last session was great, he was telling me a story or two from his life that he thought I'd get something out of emotionally (I did, I always do!) So I left happy. Until I realized I have one more session. So now I've cried myself to sleep at night because this realllllly stresses me out.

I actually asked him how people have ended their time as his client with him in the last session. He told me a story about a client who brought in a candle to burn during the session and it set off his smoke detector!!

So I guess that's out. I already gave him a small gift that I thought he'd enjoy. Also a card, but I think I want to write him out another small note. But beyond that, I just ... I don't think I can handle this, guys (and gals ).

It's not like I *need* to see him anyway anymore, I'm off my antidepressants and mood stabilizer, and most of our sessions were just therapy (he's really good at it). But. I'm going to miss him. Mostly because this is the longest therapeutic relationship I've had, even with my different therapists over the years.

So. How do you say goodbye? He did tell me to drop him a line and tell him about my continuing education (I see him at my university, I'm switching elsewhere to college thus I can't see him anymore) and when I get a "real job" in the field (I'm going for my social service worker diploma). I dunno. I just have mixed feelings about this and I really hope I don't become a basketcase after I see him. Or make a mess of the last session (although how does one make a mess of a session? I don't know).

Thanks for listening.

[Manipulated-Minds]

It really sounds like you had a tight relationship with him. I'm sure it's going to be hard letting go. Just try to make your last session with him as cheerful as possible and nothing should go wrong.

Are you going to be getting another therapist after you move schools?

[Perna]

I don't think it's something that can be planned for; all my terminations went differently than I imagined

I've always had a hard time, mostly remember the physical leading up to and going away from the session, rather than what was talked about during. Your mind/body will know what's best for you at this time, how to "cope". I would just "let" it and "observe"/learn what I could about this aspect of myself.

[Melbadaze]

Yes goodbyes are the hardest!

[Christina86]

Originally Posted by Manipulated-Minds

It really sounds like you had a tight relationship with him. I'm sure it's going to be hard letting go. Just try to make your last session with him as cheerful as possible and nothing should go wrong.

Are you going to be getting another therapist after you move schools?

I sorta have a therapist at the moment, who has been nice enough to call sporadically. Can't afford to see her at the moment, until at least September. If I even have time once school hits to do anything at all... (including breathing).

Cheerful I can try to do. I just hope it's not fake.

Originally Posted by Perna

I don't think it's something that can be planned for; all my terminations went differently than I imagined

I've always had a hard time, mostly remember the physical leading up to and going away from the session, rather than what was talked about during. Your mind/body will know what's best for you at this time, how to "cope". I would just "let" it and "observe"/learn what I could about this aspect of myself.

Interesting thought... just "let" it be! I'm too tired to plan anything much anyways, since I know things never go as planned when I talk to him.

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

Yes goodbyes are the hardest!

*nods* Indeed.

[googley]

Hi.

I'm sorry you are having to say good bye to your pdoc. I had to say good bye last year to my T when I moved for school. It really is the pits. What I did was write a letter with everything (or almost everything) that I wanted to say to my T so that I wouldn't forget. I think it ended up being about three pages long. It really let me make sure that I said everything I wanted to and that she knew how much I appreciated her help. When I transferred I was okay until I hung up my last phone call with her (she was making sure I got settled with someone new). Then I balled. While this last time I had to say bye to my T (because of money) I balled completely the last three sessions. Don't worry about being able to keep it all together. It is a major change and you are losing a large support. You say your Pdoc is great. He will understand.

[splitimage]

Terminations are hard, and after 3 years, I'd imagine you have quite a bond. I had enough trouble going from weekly to every other week sessions with my T due to financial concerns. I'd say just be honest with him about how you're feeling and try to leave feeling positive, like this chapter in your life has closed, but you're moving on to something new and exciting (you're off meds and you're starting a new school program)

Good luck with it.

--splitimage

[BlackCanary]

I just terminated with my T of 18 mo; he got a new job elsewhere.

I held back my emotions, stayed composed. It was all very adult.
I wish I had instead let out my anger at his leaving, my sadness, my frustration, my fear. My tip is to be sure to get out any feelings you have, because you will not get another chance.

I guess you have known for a while that this end was coming? In a way, its like a graduation? Hopefully the pdoc will allow you to send updates, continue to infrequently communicate, so do ask for this.

[Christina86]

Originally Posted by googley

Hi.

I'm sorry you are having to say good bye to your pdoc. I had to say good bye last year to my T when I moved for school. It really is the pits. What I did was write a letter with everything (or almost everything) that I wanted to say to my T so that I wouldn't forget. I think it ended up being about three pages long. It really let me make sure that I said everything I wanted to and that she knew how much I appreciated her help. When I transferred I was okay until I hung up my last phone call with her (she was making sure I got settled with someone new). Then I balled. While this last time I had to say bye to my T (because of money) I balled completely the last three sessions. Don't worry about being able to keep it all together. It is a major change and you are losing a large support. You say your Pdoc is great. He will understand.

Teehee. I wrote him an eight page letter a couple of weeks ago. Left it for him at his office, but also said to never bring it up. He didn't. I think I just rambled for 8 pages, but my writing is pretty big so that didn't help since it wasn't lined paper. I don't know if I like the idea of bawling my eyes out in session... as much as we've worked on it, it's still not an emotion I'm happy with expressing around others. Then again, with the amount of emotions I currently feel it'll probably happen whether I like it or not.

Originally Posted by splitimage

Terminations are hard, and after 3 years, I'd imagine you have quite a bond. I had enough trouble going from weekly to every other week sessions with my T due to financial concerns. I'd say just be honest with him about how you're feeling and try to leave feeling positive, like this chapter in your life has closed, but you're moving on to something new and exciting (you're off meds and you're starting a new school program)

Good luck with it.

--splitimage

Leaving positive is paramount. He actually gave the option of the previous session being our last, I told him I would like to see him once more just because I'm still prepping for my new school (and everything that entails!) for September. Switching up time/length between sessions isn't fun.

Originally Posted by BlackCanary

I just terminated with my T of 18 mo; he got a new job elsewhere.

I held back my emotions, stayed composed. It was all very adult.
I wish I had instead let out my anger at his leaving, my sadness, my frustration, my fear. My tip is to be sure to get out any feelings you have, because you will not get another chance.

I guess you have known for a while that this end was coming? In a way, its like a graduation? Hopefully the pdoc will allow you to send updates, continue to infrequently communicate, so do ask for this.

Let out emotions... hard, but worth it I suppose.

I knew this would be happening, since I have to leave my university eventually... I just wish I could still have seen him even if I wasn't a student. It's happy (I'm moving on) but sad since university has been my life for six years!

Unless he specifically bars me from calling him, he'll still hear from me sporadically since I sometimes leave random messages. He rarely calls back, but that's ok I think. He did say to keep in touch about future stuff which was nice. But it seems like too much, all of this 'growing up' stuff.