[BlackCanary]

I'm going to meet with new girlT today. Last week she confirmed that she has read the Judith Herman book "Trauma and Recovery" and that she has specific training and experience in this area.
This is what I'd hoped for; exT did not seem to have much in this area.

So, today I'm planning to tell new girlT the story of my inner teenager/my story. I am scared, a little, since it's not an easy thing to tell.
I wish my exT would call me and say to the inner teen "It's OK to tell her, she is safe, she can help you, she knows about this. It is OK." I had built up so much trust with him, so attached as a teenager can be. I know he will not, he told me that if I call he won't respond.
I've told the inner teenager this (that girlT is safe), and I feel "her" agitation at being abandoned by exT, her desperation to connect with a new caregiver. And I want to get my inner world back to a grown up status; a traumatic health event last year really dialed my internal age back to zero, and I think I've only grown up to 17-18 yr old.

My husband told me "good luck" this morning. Looking for good luck wishes from you all, who know how truly hard it can be.

[pachyderm]

Good luck wishes! (((((BlackCanary)))))

[MortalCoil]

Well, it looks like you're gone already - but I'm wishing you luck anyway!

[Perna]

I know about those traumatic health events; good luck today with the new girlT; let us know how it went!

[rainbow8]

I'm thinking of you, and I hope your session went well.

(((((((BC)))))))

I hope today goes well. Let us know

[BlackCanary]

WOW
I am really glad I decided to just jump in -- it has only been about 5 sessions since I first met her, the day after I parted with ex-T.
She heard what I was saying - and what I was not saying.
She saw what I was feeling, as I was saying it.
She could TELL me what she heard and saw, so I knew I was heard and seen.
She immediately recognized - without my saying so - my pain around not being comforted/helped when the event occurred, and again last summer when I told ex-T (I asked him to hold my hand, he declined).
So she gave me a hug to comfort me.

We will meet again tomorrow - I scheduled it a few days ago, once I had decided to tell. I figured I'd be feeling overwhelmed. But honestly I feel happy that I'm finally going to get the help I need, help for that teenage me, and I've marked a milestone on my quest for a satisfactory state of resolution.
Amen.

[WePow]

I am so happy that you are finally being heard and seen!! Very healing to have that happen!