...............................

[rainbow8]

uh, oh. Is that why so many people are reading my thread but not replying? But, tree--this forum isn't only supposed to be about "bad" t-relationships. It's supposed to be about anything related to our therapy. Or so I thought.

Many people post about good, connected sessions, and good ts. I have this feeling no one wants to hear anymore about my "hand holding" with my T, though. The thing about forums like this is that no one is forced to read or reply to any thread that upsets them. It's all voluntary.

tree, I'm glad you started this thread because I really want to know too. I hope people will be honest. I for one, have a need to sort of obsess about my good sessions and my good T, because I've had the other kind. I'm sorry if it's triggering for others.

[sittingatwatersedge]

[quote=treehouse;1459731 I know that despite our (many!) ruptures, I am one of the people who has a good T relationship. T and I have worked HARD over a long time on our relationship. It certainly didn't start off anything like it is now.[/quote]

other people have good Ts too, they have ruptures too, and they may not be as far down the road as you; they are working hard too but (speaking for myself ) it is very helpful. very helpful to hear from someone who has worked away at it and it has become good.

We're all of us on different pages of our own books; that's no reason to close yours! What would we do without you showing not only the payoff but also the struggle? That's what would be triggering for me - someone who never struggled in therapy but everything was bright and easy. I would probably give up in the face of an example like that. Tree, your generosity in sharing your story helps me so much.

I really will try to tone down the negativity, nobody needs to hear it. Sorry.

[seventyeight]

tree and rain, i can tell you at least that i really enjoy hearing about y'alls relationships with your therapists. it makes me smile to read the good stuff, and it helps give me hope that i could one day have that too. there have only been maybe one or two times when it bothered me, but that was either because i was having an "off" day with my t, or because i was just in a particularly jealous mood.

i think if people are getting upset or triggered by your posts, they shouldn't read what you have to say. you have just as much rights as anyone to post whatever you want to and i think it can be as healing to read about it as it is to experience it. please don't stop sharing the good, i'd really miss it..

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by seventyeight

tree and rain, ..... it makes me smile to read the good stuff, and it helps give me hope that i could one day have that too.

me too

Originally Posted by treehouse

I've read in more than a few threads lately that people are triggered reading about good relationships with Ts. I know that despite our (many!) ruptures, I am one of the people who has a good T relationship. T and I have worked HARD over a long time on our relationship. It certainly didn't start off anything like it is now.

I'm really sorry if anyone has been triggered by what I've written. I am going to try to find a way to share what I need to about what's going on with me (and have it remain in the PT forum) without talking so much about me and T. Or I might just skip the whole thing and support where I can without mentioning the relationship. Or ??????

Sorry

Tree...

I can't speak for others here, but I can speak for myself. Any comment I make regarding good vs bad T experiences, is not meant to take away from a person's relationship with their own T.

Sadly, it is more of a realization on my part....what is missing with mine. I have had three T's. None of them are alike, and none of them were like yours either. I can see from your comments how interactions with your T have been healing. My desire is to someday have the same kind of relationship with a T in my own therapy, and eventually, with others in RL.

Take care of yourself, and do what is needed here for your own healing. It is through sharing your own ruptures and repairs, I learn alot about mine.

[zooropa]

I don't have time to read all the responses and write a well-thought-out reply right now, but I just want to say that tree, your posts are so encouraging and uplifting. I have enjoyed reading about your relationship with your T since I first started coming here. I have learned from you about myself and about my T. I wouldn't have learned those things if you hadn't posted. Please don't stop. Everything is somebody's trigger, we can't go around worrying about every single word.

[sunrise]

Tree, I hope you won't stop posting about the good relationship that you and your T have. I have had people tell me similar stuff about some of my positive posts about therapy with my T. I don't want to trigger people, but on the other hand, if the positive posts are not made here, then it will leave only the negative (not sure that's the right word), and that wouldn't be good either, would it? I find positive posts about therapy to be really encouraging and uplifting and even provide models to me of what I might do differently in therapy to turn in a new and positive direction. I personally have really benefited from reading your posts. I hope you will not stop posting the good stuff.

Originally Posted by treehouse

T and I have worked HARD over a long time on our relationship. It certainly didn't start off anything like it is now.

You have worked really hard. I feel a bit similar--that my "good" relationship now with my T is really hard won. I think reading posts like yours, as well as similar ones from other posters, about your relationship with T and your struggles to grow the relationship really helped me with mine. I didn't give up and stop therapy with him. When we have had some difficult times, we have worked them out. This is big steps for me, as I am used to simply leaving relationships when any conflict enters the picture.

I hope people who post positive things will stay. Those posts are like oases in our forum and a good little break to take from the ones in which people are struggling and in so much pain. They can be a resting place from which to spring to the others, where people need help.

.............................

[WePow]

Please do not take this away from yourself. We can honor the emotions of others who get triggered by reading the posts about good Ts, but that doesn't mean we have to change what we post. Even I get triggered by reading the good stuff at times - like the hand holding. The day I first read that, I was so upset! It wasn't about the post though and I knew it. I was upset with my T and I was triggered because I wanted to be close again to my T and missed him too much. I was shutting myself off from T and reading about someone else being able to just sit and hold hands with T ticked me off that I was being the way I was with my own stuff.

May I encourage you to continue to be honest. People who are triggered too much by the good relationships tend to start learning which of us on PC have that type of a relationship. So they are not obligated to read stuff that will cause a trigger at this time.

And I know I don't think less of anyone here if they don't respond to my posts - or even if they don't read them. It's all good. We are all here to heal and try to help eachother out. I know I usually have to skip posts that talk about therapy ruptures because it brings up my own fear at times. But that doesn't mean I don't like the poster or that I don't respect them. In fact, I have deep respect for those here on PC because of the raw honesty that prevails. Just my 2 pennies in the pot.

[rainbow8]

WePow, I'm sorry you were triggered by my thread.

[WePow]

Rainbow - please don't be sorry at all! There are some times when a trigger is useful. I am VERY glad you posted that and more glad I read it! It opened my heart to seeing just how much I do love my T in my safe way. That was what gave me the encouragement I needed to open my heart back up to my T and try the trust thing again. You show me what CAN happen with relationships. And I thank you deeply for that!

[darkrunner]

Treehouse-
It kind of sounds like YOU were the one who was triggered by reading what others said.

You do deserve to have a good T. And you have just as much right to post about your T as anyone else - whether it is good or bad.

Originally Posted by darkrunner

Treehouse-
It kind of sounds like YOU were the one who was triggered by reading what others said.

Ha - you're right! I really REALLY don't want to make anyone else feel bad. That really IS a triggering thought for me. Blah.

Please don't stop posting. What about the people who are very encouraged by your threads about your therapist? Not everyone is triggered. That is NOT ON YOU. That isn't your responsibility.

I think you're a wonderful person like so many here and you have so much to share that is so very valuable and encouraging.

[ECHOES]

((Tree)) Triggers come from within. They are about the other person's internal experiences.

I can be triggered, I can feel jealous or envious about another person's T or therapy, but I also feel glad for the other person at the same time.

I don't know what you wrote, I'm reading between the lines.

Be you

[Melbadaze]

I get more triggered when I see the person being led down the path by egotistical T's, and have no other experience to go by and continue to go round and round and never getting anywhere becuase of the lack of skill the therapist has. But reading about a healthy theraputic relationship shouldn't be triggering. Sadly theres not much of them around.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

I get more triggered when I see the person being led down the path by egotistical T's

And I get more triggered by those threads where it recaps a person's last sessions before termination. Those are very painful for me to even contemplate so I don't even open them up. I think we each probably have our own flavor of post that triggers us here: for Treehouse, it's when someone is triggered by her own positive post; for others, it's reading about a good/healthy T relationship; for Melba, it's reading about egotistical Ts; for me, it's those "last day of therapy" posts...

It could be that most any post will be triggering for someone. If we all decided not to post because our post triggered someone, there would be very few posts left here!

[darkrunner]

Originally Posted by treehouse

Ha - you're right! I really REALLY don't want to make anyone else feel bad. That really IS a triggering thought for me. Blah.

((((((((((((((((((Treehouse)))))))))))))))))))

You are not responsible for taking care of everyone else!

Originally Posted by sunrise

And I get more triggered by those threads where it recaps a person's last sessions before termination. Those are very painful for me to even contemplate so I don't even open them up. I think we each probably have our own flavor of post that triggers us here: for Treehouse, it's when someone is triggered by her own positive post; for others, it's reading about a good/healthy T relationship; for Melba, it's reading about egotistical Ts; for me, it's those "last day of therapy" posts...

It could be that most any post will be triggering for someone. If we all decided not to post because our post triggered someone, there would be very few posts left here!

Very well said, Sunrise.

[Melbadaze]

yes I agree, thats why I always post for me, and how I think and feel and not how I think others would want me or whomever to post.

[WikidPissah]

all I can read is ".............", but I get the gist of it. yea, I have never had a good T relationship, and it sux big time. But I got to say, reading people's good T relationship stuff is pushing me to reach out and find that. I know it is possible by reading all the good T posts, I wouldn't know that without them. SO keep posting the good stuff, I need to know it's real!

[zooropa]

Originally Posted by sunrise

And I get more triggered by those threads where it recaps a person's last sessions before termination. Those are very painful for me to even contemplate so I don't even open them up. I think we each probably have our own flavor of post that triggers us here: for Treehouse, it's when someone is triggered by her own positive post; for others, it's reading about a good/healthy T relationship; for Melba, it's reading about egotistical Ts; for me, it's those "last day of therapy" posts...

It could be that most any post will be triggering for someone. If we all decided not to post because our post triggered someone, there would be very few posts left here!

I second that, sunrise. Posts about termination will often make me really sad and even trigger my own abandonment fears. But I don't blame the posters or wish they wouldn't post, I just don't read those ones.