[rainbow8]

I know this isn't flu season, but my H just told me someone we know has had the flu for a week. So, suddenly I'm worried that my T will get sick and have to cancel my appointment. I always worry that something will happen to her, or to any of my Ts. I know it's unusual; in all my years of therapy my Ts have rarely had to cancel an appointment. Therapy is so important to me that it seems like I can't handle the thought of T not being there.

I read the threads about Ts being away for extended times, and I think that I'm not strong enough to cope if that happens. I'm trying to stay calm and not worry about something that's out of my control and unlikely to happen. But, just thinking about the possibility of T getting sick is making me depressed. Therapy is so good now that I don't want it interrupted!

When I think of someone getting sick, I think of cancer, heart problems, etc., not the flu. The flu is a pretty routine, normal illness that I perfectly accept may cause a session to be cancelled either by him or me. I live in the realm of a sister struggling with a bone marrow transplant and a friend dying just this evening from heart failure. Perhaps consider that as long as they are minor illness, one should be very grateful for that blessing. Reframe your thinking towards the positive.

[googley]

I know how you feel. There was a period at one point that a couple of sessions got canceled because my T was sick. It was really hard. I also was sad because she was sick and wanted her to feel better fast. I kept worrying every time someone called because I worried that it was my T calling to tell me she was going to have to cancel our session.

Originally Posted by farmergirl

When I think of someone getting sick, I think of cancer, heart problems, etc.,

Ugh, me too My dad died of cancer a few years ago, at a young age. He was VERY healthy (a runner, etc) until the cancer.

I do worry about T getting cancer. We've talked about it, and he reassures me that he's doing everything in his power to stay healthy, and I know he is. I don't worry about it all the time, but it crosses my mind, especially when he has anything going on physically. Just recently, he wasn't returning e-mails, etc at the normal times, and I knew that he had a dr appt somewhere in there, and my mind totally went to "he's not returning calls because he's having tests done". Ack. We talked about it; he's fine.

BUT - even though I don't worry about T getting a cold or the flu, I do worry sometimes about my sessions being canceled for whatever reason. Consistency in my therapy is really important to me.

Luckily, he's there 99.9% of the time

[rainbow8]

farmergirl: I'm very sorry about your friend who passed away and of course, about your sister's illness. I worry about major illness and death too. Some young people I know passed away suddenly and it shook me up. I'm always worried about death, and I am getting closer and closer to the age when my Mom died.

I should have titled my thread "worry about missing a session" because it's more about that, for any reason. I am grateful to be alive, and for my loved ones to be alive, each day. But it's not so simple to reframe it as far as therapy is concerned. It's like comparing apples and oranges to me. It feels devastating to me to think about going through a week without my session. No, it wouldn't be life threatening but my need for T is so strong now that I can't explain it, so I won't try. I do know that reframing is powerful, and I will keep that it mind. My former T liked the concept.

googley: Thanks! Did your T get back to you about resuming sessions yet? I hope she does soon!!

tree: My Mom died of cancer in her 60's. I'm sorry about your Dad. I don't WORRY about T getting the flu; I worry about having to miss my session. I should have thought before posting. Sorry.

[zooropa]

my T has never cancelled on me for being sick, and she doesn't really take many vacations either. Still, yes, I worry about it. It would throw me off BIG TIME if she had to miss a session, even if I knew it was for an unavoidable reason. I've been lucky that she is so available and in turn I have never missed a session either. It helps me so much to have that structure.

[JustWannaDisappear]

this might sound odd, but I worry about her dying or retiring. She's 70 and although she doesn't seem like she's older, I worry that it'll happen one day out of the blue. I guess I don't think of a flu as being sick because I've lost so many people in my life. Maybe that's why I have the fear of her suddenly dying or retiring.

[Melbadaze]

I dont worry like I use too, well not in the same sense. Long breaks use to throw me back to the times growing up when there was no one really there emotionally for me, but as therapy as progressed and I internalise T more, I am able to survive with and without her presence, yes i use to worry she would get killed or die etc, but these are left over fears from my childhood, that I would be suddenly abandoned again, at this point no one can tell you not to worry etc, its an emotional thing and like everything else can be worked through,its just where your at now, but no necessarily where your always be. The flip-side is as I go stronger and more able to survive alone,I am more confident in T's ablitys to survive illness and to take care of herself.

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I don't WORRY about T getting the flu; I worry about having to miss my session. .

I get it.

I don't obsess about it, but I do have a pang of worry sometimes if my phone rings or when I look at my e-mail the day before a session. My sessions are a big deal to me...it's the point in my week where I can just let out whatever needs out, and regroup so I can keep going. Missing that when I'm expecting it would be really hard.

T has only canceled my session twice in almost 3 years, thankfully!

[rainbow8]

JWD, it's not odd at all. I worry about my T dying too. I even told her that. When she went on vacation, I told her I was worried about her coming back. She's nowhere close to retirement, though. Have you expressed your fears to T? That might help you.

melba, for me it's because this therapy is what I've needed my whole life. Also because I like my T so very much. I don't trust good experiences to last for me.

tree, Bt never canceled a session in over 5 years! She rarely took vacations, either. My new T told me she doesn't get sick often, but no one knows. It's the uncertainty of life that I have trouble dealing with.

I don't want this thread to continue. It's too depressing.