[Fartraveler]

I should be seeing my T this Thurs. But actually I won't see her till next Mon. And so there is a huge empty place in my schedule and my heart. My own fault too, of course. Since I was the one who asked to schedule it then.

Stupid stupid stupid me.

[Perna]

How come you changed the schedule? Anything you can work on on your own over the weekend to "test" things a bit and report to your T on?

[googley]

((((((Far)))))))

Don't be hard on yourself. Sometimes we don't know the repercussions of our actions. I'm sure you didn't say to yourself when you were scheduling this "well, I'm going to do this knowing it will cause me discomfort". You went in saying, "this will be better for some reason." We can't always predict the outcome of our actions. I'm sorry you are not seeing your T on Thursday. I know it can be hard when our schedules are thrown out of whack.

[Fartraveler]

Really I was just being cranky. I said I wanted to skip a week, and I guess I was expecting her to say that she thought I should come in on Thursday as usual, and then we could argue a bit, and then I would agree to come. Just acting out a bit I suppose. But she is being a lot more firm with that sort of thing these days.

And I suppose her sense of it is correct. A few years ago, I would have had a major tantrum. But now I'm just feeling a bit lonely and rueful, but also seeing the humor. So I suppose I actually can handle it.

It's OK. She's just making me grow up. Making me take responsibility. Pushing me a little bit.

Sigh.

And arghh.

-Far

[geez]

(((Far))) I can relate. I'm going through the very same thing as you are right now. I could have made an appt to see my T yesterday as she's not in the rest of this week or even Monday next week but I decided to schedule it for Friday next week. WTH was I thinking???? I miss her so much. I have been going once a week now and this will make it almost a 2 1/2 week span and I'm finding it really difficult. I'm ok but it's just the weekly 'comfort' I miss. I've been journaling and doing lots of reflecting so their will be lots to discuss at my next appt.

Hope your week goes by quickly.

Peace.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Fartraveler

but also seeing the humor

That's one of the number one things that helps me with myself

[mobius]

She's just making me grow up. Making me take responsibility. Pushing me a little bit.

Sounds difficult...but also like you're doing well with it for the most part. It's hard to miss a session!