[suzzie]

I just started trauma and dont have a clue what it involves. Im wondering if, in the beginning, it is a series of questions the T asks you and you answer. My T started that last session. It was hard and I never did answer two of them. I couldnt. So I email T to ask if these kind of questions are going to be asked at our next session. Now T wants to know what would make me ask this and that makes me uncomfortable. That the T cares and wants to understand me. I cant understand why or what to do with that idea of caring. It actually scares me. I dont want to believe it or trust it. Anyways is this how trauma starts out. I really dont want to answer any more questions. I dont like where they are going.

[Perna]

There's no set way to work on things. I don't know how long you have been seeing your T, could be she was just trying to get a bit more information by asking the questions. It doesn't matter if you can/cannot answer them, they are not a test! Usually the questions are to either give your T a bit more information, if you are able, or to give you something to think about and maybe help you remember better or focus on something that needs dealing with.

I would talk to your T about questions, how they make you uncomfortable and why. Do you have things you bring up in therapy otherwise? I don't know what thing about your "liking" where the questions are "going" as, presumably you are in therapy to work on the hard parts that hurt the most? One cannot get to the "other side" of therapy and feel better, respond to stress better, without going through a middle, messy part. That's part of the work.

[BlackCanary]

I remember my originalT asking lots of questions. I could answer if I didn't let emotion come in. Once the emotion was there I could not answer.
You may have to establish a "stop" hand signal with T, to get T to stop asking if you have hit a tender spot.
Many people who come to therapy have been through a traumatic event. Therapists like to know how much impact it has had on your life (and in what areas of your life) so they can give you an effective treatment plan.
A gentle example: After I got soup from the deli, I had a heart attack. So, I won't go get soup from that deli anymore. Small impact - there is another place across the street that has soup. After my heart attack, I was afraid I would die so I stopped making long term plans - big impact.
good luck

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by suzzie

I just started trauma and dont have a clue what it involves.

Can you ask your T what trauma work with him will involve? Maybe he can lay out a typical plan he has for helping people with trauma. I bet it would help you feel less anxious if you knew what to expect. Different therapists treat trauma with different methods, so the way people here have been treated may not match what you and your T will do. Remember that you can always say no to any treatment that your T wants to do.

Originally Posted by suzzie

Now T wants to know what would make me ask this and that makes me uncomfortable.

You could tell him you want to know because you want a better understanding of what the trauma work is like that the two of you will be doing. His question is also an opportunity for you to say that his questions made you uncomfortable, scared you, etc. This may give him clues as to how to proceed with you. Every client is different.

Good luck with this work. It is hard!

[WePow]

((( suzzie ))) It took me years to build up to the safe place I had to be before trauma work could happen. That included 4 yrs of therapy in college followed by 10 yrs of no therapy at all. That was time spent learning how to have a stable life. When my mind was certain that I was in a very safe place physically, then the trauma work just happened. Thankfully, my first T told me this was going to happen one day and I knew what to look for with regard to emotions and such. And when the emotions and pain started happening, I knew it was "time" to go get my new T.

My T is trained in PTSD, CSA, and truama work. I think it is very important that a client is with a T who has done this stuff before because it is one of the hardest things a person will ever go through (IMHO). The T needs to know how to make sure you have all your safety nets in place - people you can call when the flashbacks hit at 2AM (and they will), tools to ground yourself when you are at work or school and you find yourself flooded with emotion (it happens out of the blue), and the ability to stay "in your T's hands" throughout the process. This is something that a T CANNOT dump a client into without being there every single step of the way.

In my case, my T allowed me to use e-mail to "vent" when the flashbacks would occur. He didn't read them all and he told me that, which was fine. But it gave me a tool I could use to keep myself safe through the "emotional puking" that happens. Check with your T to see exactly what you are expected to do when you are tossed into the waves emotionally and NEED T to be there for you in some way.

I am very deeply sorry that you have to go through this. I don't say this lightly. I think it is beyond criminal that any human would do something to another human that results in the agony trauma work brings with it.

That being said, if you are ready to do this and have the tools you need to do it, trauma work is the single most healing process a survivor can experience. It is something that is NOT forever... the pain and misery WILL end. But it is like deciding to go on a very steep rollercoaster ride. Once you start trauma work, you really can't just decide to get off when things get tough. It is something one has to go through.
That may take a year or two (or more) of time. For me, I am almost at the very end of my work (still a little to go), but the trauma work has been going on for 13 months.

BIG hugs to you!!!!!