friday we were given 3 choices by gayle-and since we could do none of them we have nobody anymore. her definition of us "dying to self" included giving up completely-hockey,nails,computer,tv,any and all socializing. going to church-any church-7 days a week regardless of how we felt about it or whether or not their teachings corresponded with our beliefs,and to get there walking,crawling or riding a bus if we had no ride. getting a part time job. attending religious 12 step groups 7 days a week even if we didnt fit in. but the straw that broke the camels back was her telling us "core can go to [God] and ask him to grow her up i am done with that". SHE caused cores break from reality and memory loss and shes done with her??? we wont be going back but we just needed to share what we have been told and we apologize in advance if it isnt appropriate,we are including a trigger warning and deleting all personal information

----- Original Message --

when your life becomes all about [God] then you have died and are now free to live your life fulfilling HIS commission purposes HE created sustained and saved you for...dying to flesh means we live as aliens sojourners foreigners HIS ambassadors here on earth bringing HIS Light to those caught in darkness deceptive traps...we belong and represent [God]

. . .

the deal was and is: chose to die to your flesh, take 30 days off and return, or chose to stop coming WHICH WILL IT BE

please can we have some hugs? we feel so alone and rejected....

[Jewels]

ty ((((jewels)))) trying to be strong and brave but not doing a very good job

[AtreyuFreak]

This is ridiculous that she's using religion to make you feel bad or give herself power over you. Not only is she trying to break you down emotionally, but now she's using FAITH against you? Faith, which is supposed to be a refuge from the bad things!!!! I hate that. My mother did that which is why I no longer consider myself part of that religion.

[NuckingFutz]

Wow! Bad therapist. Need to get a new positive one. What your therapist quotes is full of violence, suffering and spiritual abuse. Sending you a cyber hug.

[anderson]

(( (( (( TRINITY )) )) ))
We are so sorry for that letter. It is the same line that we get from those that wish to seperate us from the lighthouses of our church. WE still went cause they have made it so we have so few places that we can go to and spend time with good people.

~
When I see these kinds of treatment of those like us. It makes us cry. To transfer the blame of our abusers unto us they them selvs have choicen to be abusers.They may not all physcally hurt us but it is the wounds that you do not see that hurt the most.
~
Safe Hugs and we hope that you know that you are not the only one that has dealt with this on one level or another.

[Jewels]

Not only that, but it is definitely against what the boundaries are for Ts to use religion against their clients. That is wrong on many levels, let alone leaving the client no choice but to choose to leave because of the belief that they must not have any faith and therefore must be bad...i really detest people who can't allow others to follow their own hearts and know that healing is a process, not an instant cure at all...ok, i'm done ranting...I'm just grateful that TD has someone else to go to to get her therapy done...it wont be easy at first, but i believe that once she gets past the trust issues she will do fine...

((((((((((( TrinityDancer ))))))))))

((((((((((( Anderson ))))))))))

thank you so much everyone,we desperstely need to hear what you have to say right now,we were always under the impression that the counselor worked for the client and not the other way around but this has left us wondering if we did something wrong...either way we cannot return to her and we wont get to see our new counselor most likely for 2 weeks but somehow we will make it through right?

[Jewels]

(((((((((( TrinityDancer ))))))))))

you can make it hon, you have us here to help you through until that time...and you can pm anyone who is your friend here too...and if you see me online, or in a chat, just pull me aside to talk...ok? And DPS said she will help too...so you have some choices of who to talk to...

praying for you...supporting you in your pain...

Jewels

ok thank you so much♥♥♥

[Eriksplus]

(Webber)Erik

[Miracle1986]

(((TrinityDancer)))
We are here for you!

[Hunny]

TrinityDancer,

I/we am/are taking a bit of a break this month but I am here for you too and glad it finally is over with that person (I don't have the stomach to call her a counsellor). But, to encourage you around this, I want break with my rest time, to applaud you for taking some strong steps toward your healing.

From her yelling at you a month or so ago to this, I am glad 'it' has come to an end with her and you will be getting your help elsewhere. You did really good!

Safe hugs

Your T is not within her boundaries to say these things to you. We can't be perfect or change ourselves .It is a process.Don't give this woman another moment ...and I would report her as you have enough to deal with already with out this crud too.

sorry for bothering everyone

[chaotic13]

When I read passages that talk about giving ourselves completely over to God to be lifted up, healed, and be placed on the path to wholeness with Him...I often have mixed reactions but in the end I see it as a positive ,empowering message. HOWEVER you T seems to be trying to tell you or push you on to this path and IDK some of the things you mentioned in your post seem to be more MANls interpretation of what it means when someone puts God in the drivers seat. Personally I don't think living your faith necessary means cutting out TV and going to church services everyday. There are A LOT of ways to mak Him mmore present in your daily life. ALSO, NO ONE should be telling you...this is what you must do now or else! Everyone's journey has its own pace. Its good you are getting a new T IMHO.

[koalabb123456]

What a crappy therapist she is. Sigh..

((((((((((trinity))))))))))

gotta love the legalists. so sorry you have had to deal with this from your counselor. she probably means well but doesn't seem to really understand what the good book is about if she thinks it means you have to give up things like hockey, nail polish, tv, etc. while it can be helpful for addicts or alcoholics to go to 30 meetings in 30 days to get a good start it isn't like it's a requirement. none of those things you listed she mentioned are requirements. dying to self is hard enough--we don't need to add on extras to make it even harder than was ever intended! i hope your new counselor is a good one. God bless you.

thank you so much everyone for your replies its helping us to think maybe we arent so insane after all maybe. this was done in response to a question she asked and now it ended up her way or no way we cant work under those threats

[googley]

((((((((TrinityDancer))))))))

What your T did twas totally inappropriate. It is not your fault. We are here for you.

[pachyderm]

I'll add my agreement to what people here are saying, TrinityDancer. It sounds as though that person has not understood the message of "love" at all. And the phrase "dying to self" can sound like a reinforcement of a message that I got in childhood, at least, from my mother: "You don't count, only I count -- your 'self' should be destroyed."

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by TrinityDancer

the deal was and is: chose to die to your flesh, take 30 days off and return, or chose to stop coming WHICH WILL IT BE

speaking for myself I don't need to be shouted at in therapy, I get plenty of that IRL. It would give me a feeling of great lightness and freedom to say, "I won't need 30 days to find a better therapist than this. See ya."

(It's easy for me to say, of course, I am not in your shoes). Still, therapy-as-30-day-deadline-ultimatum is way beyond strange to me, let alone all the semi-pseudo-quasi-neo-evangelical trappings.

I don't know where you found that person, but perhaps one day you will feel like reporting it to appropriate authority... it does seem there is a violation there. wishing you great peace

today we finally got the realization that what shes been doing constitutes spiritual among other types of abuse and thats not acceptable this is going to be hard on us though as we were with her for 4yrs and there were some good things that happened but as in any abusive relationship you dont realize youre being hurt until later and its hard to leave. the support is very much appreciated

[NuckingFutz]

I am sorry you had to go through this. I am surprised you have developed syndrome by now. I hope you stay strong. Hang in there!

[Gus1234U]

oooh {{{{{{{{{{{{{ Trin~! }}}}}}}}}}}}}} thanks for being so brave and enduing so much. Please stay with us, you have so many friends on PC, and some of us can be trusted not to be triggered by anything you might say (i hope i am one you can turn to). You are precious in God's eyes, and never to be forgotten. Gus