got first diagnoses

i had my first meeting with a psychiatrist today and at the end of my first visit i was diagnosed with an eating disorder,,generalized anxiety disorder,, and he said i meet alot of the criteria for borderline personality disorder but did not want to fully diagnose it until i had further testing.....he is setting me up with another doc to do the testing(i dont know why),, ive had some bad experiences with antidepressants years ago so i did not agree to start any until after the testing...it was a very hard appointment ,,to come out and tell things about yourself that are embarrassing,,tonight,,,as with most nights , only not as deep,,i feel stupid,useless,like i do not deserve to have these thoughts,like im a failure,never have i felt good enough.............i expected to have some more answers about how to stop feeling,acting this way in life but what i got was "it would take many years of hard work that is not guaranteed...but it is possible",,my gosh im 37,,and i dont know if i can,,,i do want to, i just feel doomed.....why did it take so long for me to realize i had something wrong with me,,getting to this point has taken alot of hard self analysis,,i hope i have the strength to continue.....i hate myself today,why am i such an emotional idiot!

((((((((((((((queen)))))))))))))))))) hang in there. it's hard but you'll get through it.

Why do you think you're an emotional idiot? Do you think others with the same problems are emotional idiots?

wouldn't it be nice if we could just go in, get a diagnosis, and be told exactly what to do to get better? It's never that easy. It can be done, though.

well ,no of course i dont...i have love for all people and believe there are reasons for everything about us,,even when u hear about people doing bad things i know that there was something in that persons life that made them feel bad inside to act out..i just dont feel like im worthy of having these messed up emotions..i should be stronger and be the rock for my family..if my emotions cause pain for anyone else than i feel like i do not deserve to have them,,i should be in control,i wish i couldnt feel or think or remember and see my life flashback all the time and always worry about tomorrow..i am tired of hurting

Maybe you could learn to give yourself the same consideration and compassion.

Queen, I read your other post and see that you have good reasons for being where you are today. Anyone else who went through the same thing would be basically in the same place that you are. I am so glad that you figured out that you needed help and are getting it!

(((((((((((((((((((((((( Queen )))))))))))))))))))))))))

thank you all so much..you actually bring tears to my eyes for a little happiness...now to stop wallowing and get back to being strong

i am having so much anxiety and so many flashbacks and re-living of traumatic events since seeing a psychiatrist,,i always did but not this severe,,one question he asked me was if i had visions ,i answered no but i think maybe i was confused on what he meant by visions,,is seeing pictures in your mind and re-living the time over in your mind visions? im trying to concentrate on breathing..worried about falling apart..i cant fall apart...

I associate the symptoms of flashbacks and re-living of traumatic events with PTSD, an anxiety disorder. Perhaps by visions, your Pdoc means flashbacks? or do you think he means some kind of visual hallucination? Can you ask him to explain what he meant?

Sounds like a really hard time for you now, Queen. Do you also have a therapist for support?

I can see how a visit to the pdoc stirred stuff up and is increasing your flashbacks. Didn't you say that you only had access to group therapy?

i do not have a therapist..i am pretty much alone in seeking help..i have a number for group therapy for an eating disorder ,but have yet to call,,im going to try and do that today...i have to see another doc for more tests and im waiting for the call,,i was thinking of calling the first psychiatrist back and telling him how hard it is ,but they are not personal docs,,they work for the government and do not do that..it is hard to wait...the anxiety is too high...thank you for all your support...i am trying