[Melbadaze]

...I can see how I've been in flashback mode for the whole 4 weeks..as I talked to T today about how lonnnnng the break reality begun to seep in...oh god its like waking up from a daymare...it felt so real, the abandoment, the not being cared about...T sat and listened and even as I forced the words out bits and pieces were falling into place...these were very young feelings...these were feelings I split of regarding my birth mother...the fear that my wanting T back will make her angry with me were feelings I felt toward my adoptive mother who found my natural desires and needs to much and monsterized them and me and hated me for wanting her..I turned to T and I sat but your sitting there and its calm around you but in my head its spinning, my eyes begun to roll...T said is now or has it felt fast all the break? I said I guess its been fast all the break but I havent let myself think about it or think what the spinning was telling me...the tension is easing...its painful having to re feel..but theres no other way...once through the other side instant relief...T said did you get my first card I sent you? I said through the snot and tears, yes, T said, good!

[rainbow8]

Melba--

[Sannah]

Very good work Melba.............

[WePow]

((((( Melba ))))))) The feeling of those young emotions is one of the hardest things a person in therapy can do. You should be very proud of yourself for doing that hard work!