[Dani]

Sometimes I think my T doesn't like me and I wonder if she dreads the times I come in for my appointments. I don't talk a lot and sometimes when she asks questions I don't answer but just nod my head or something. And then sometimes when we go out to the reception area she'll stick around to make sure I get an appointment, but other times she just tells the receptionist to schedule what will work for me and then walks back to her office. It's times like this when I think she could care less if I make an appointment or not.

[sunrise]

I think the anxiety about this is perhaps mostly on your end and your T may not think any of that. One thing you could do to help alleviate your worry is to tell T that you find the appointments useful, helpful, valuable--whatever they are to you. They must be helping in some way, or you probably wouldn't keep coming back. So you could share that with your T and maybe that would make you feel better--that you have let her know you value her and your time together. Ts appreciate positive feedback and like to know their efforts are helping, even if in only some small way. Might open the way to talking about what would help even more....

[deliquesce]

Originally Posted by Dani

Sometimes I think my T doesn't like me and I wonder if she dreads the times I come in for my appointments. I don't talk a lot and sometimes when she asks questions I don't answer but just nod my head or something. And then sometimes when we go out to the reception area she'll stick around to make sure I get an appointment, but other times she just tells the receptionist to schedule what will work for me and then walks back to her office. It's times like this when I think she could care less if I make an appointment or not.

i wonder if T's waiting or not waiting has more to do with if she has other pressing demands (e.g., needs to return a call before seeing the next clients; or would like a breather out of her room between sessions) than it does with you and how much she likes you or not?

[WikidPissah]

I am a total non-talker, so I get the awkwardness and uncertainty you are going thru. This actually came up last week with my T...I'm sure I didn't just say it out of the blue, but somehow it came up....I said "I am always so scared about what people think of me". Just that simple statement led to a lot of reassuring with my T. He asked "what would be the worse thing that I could think of about you"....I responded, then he reassured, and went on with "next worse thing"...response, NEXT worse thing...and so on. It was really helpful.

Do you think maybe you can do something like that? Just a tiny statement? "I worry about what you think of me"

[kelsi]

it takes a while to talk so don't put pressure on yourself. have you thought of writing down that you are having trouble in talking and then giving it to her?

[Perna]

I found that worrying about what my T was feeling was a way of not thinking about me and my feelings. T's don't tell us their feelings so we can concentrate on us, that's what therapy is. They are also mature and trained enough to tell us if they don't feel the relationship is working/helping us (and that would include if they feel their dislike of us is getting in the way) and they don't get enough money to sit there bored week-after-week when they could get the same money for seeing someone they liked better? T's don't have to like us for us to get our work done but, in general, I believe they do like us or they wouldn't keep seeing us each week for years at a time?

[granite1]

wow i get the not finding it easy to talk.eileen is right sometimes if you can even say one thing it can open up a chance for a great dialog between you and your T.but that can be hard also.i know i fear t responce to anything i might say more than not.you need to be ready

[Melbadaze]

Dani, Yes its hard when we swing from T being the good guy, to the bad guy, proberbly a replay of our earliest relationships?? This is the sort of stuff therapys good for, working it out and understanding where these feelings came from originally, after all they just don't appear because we start therapy.

[Dani]

Thanks for all your responses. I guess my worry about whether my T likes me or not is more about my own insecurities. I had a T once that told me that she didn't understand why I came to therapy if I didn't talk much. So I guess maybe I'm anticipating my current T to do the same. So I think I will bring this up to T on Monday and see what she says.

[sugahorse1]

For me it starts in general life - I HATE talking to people, especially on the phone. My interaction with people I don't know too well is pretty much limited to sms and e-mail. So I too battle, but think that as time goes on and you are able to trust T and build some kind of relationship, the opening up and talking bit becomes easier.