[WikidPissah]

I have never called or emailed a T other then to make/cancel appointments. With that in mind, I was just curious...for those of you that do call or email or text...when do you decide to do that? When do you decide it's ok? Is it when you are in crisis? Before you are in crisis? Just to run something by T?

(ok, inside I am very near crisis...T's email doesn't work, and I am considering calling...but this is foreign ground to me....I am not sure what to do)

My t doesn't have email or texting, but I do feel free to call him during work hours when I'm feeling in a crisis of some kind. I try not to call just to run something by him as (a) he's a busy man and doesn't have much time to just shoot the breeze (b) if it's just to run something by him, it can probably wait. But I have no qualms about calling him if I feel I am in a crisis (or headed that way). I only call my t at home in the biggest emergencies. Keep in mind if you leave a message for a call back during work hours, it may take some time for a t to get back to you as they have to find time to call between clients or at lunch or after hours.

[Hugs needed]

Eileen, call your T if you are in a crisis or near one. Please don't wait for it to get worse. I've done that and it's becomes harder to get back and other Triggers may occur. If you get a voice message ask T to call you back.
I only call my T when I'm in or near a crisis and her call back has Always helped me. The time I waited too long I was near a break down. Never again, will I do that.
T is always there for us.
Please stay safe and try to do something positive for yourself. ((((EILEEN))))

[WePow]

If you feel you are not safe or headed that way...callT

((((Eileen)))) Sorry you are struggling so much. I think T is there for you and is happy to help you. In fact I think hed like you to call if you are struggling.

[googley]

Your T would rather you call before you get to total crisis than after something bad has happened. It is much easier to work with and recover from. Call your T.

[Hugs needed]

Eileen, Did you call T? Please let us know you are safe. I've been thinking of you a lot today.

Eileen, I think that when we are heading towards a crisis, that is the very time we need to call T.

I've been with my T for a few years, and in that time, we've worked out really comfortable boundaries around phone calls/e-mails. I only ask for a phone call back if I *really* need support...otherwise, I can leave messages just to get things off my mind.

Please call if you need to, and when things feel better, maybe you and T can discuss his policies for out-of-session contact.

[RiverX]

Originally Posted by Eileen2010

I have never called or emailed a T other then to make/cancel appointments. With that in mind, I was just curious...for those of you that do call or email or text...when do you decide to do that? When do you decide it's ok? Is it when you are in crisis? Before you are in crisis? Just to run something by T?

(ok, inside I am very near crisis...T's email doesn't work, and I am considering calling...but this is foreign ground to me....I am not sure what to do)

Share here too if it helps, isnt that what this place is also for.... 'support'?

[WikidPissah]

I called. Left a really pathetic message "Hi, it's Eileen XXX, I'm kind of in a bad place, but it's ok....I can use my skills...it can wait until next week, no need to call me back"

I know...stupid right? He called me back several hours later. Asked me a million questions. I stuttered and struggled. I kept saying "I'm fine, I'm sorry I called, I'm sorry I'm wasting your time..." Crap, I even started to cry...I NEVER cry. ACK!!! He is going to call me back in an hour.

It's so hard to let him know I can't handle things myself. Crap...skills, I don't have any skills other then taking too much medication, si and sleeping. And you know what, I can do this without anyone knowing. I don't know why today was different. I wanted someone to care. Scarey thinking I want him to know. That's not like me. I deal with crap by myself. I don't need anyone.

[zooropa]

I used to agonize over when to call T. I had a really hard time with it for a long time. I felt like, why do I need to call her right now, what's different now than 5 minutes ago or 5 minutes from now?

I mentioned this once to T and I remember her saying, I can take care of that for you. If you think about calling, call. Don't worry about if you should or when is the right time. If you think about calling, call. So, I do. I try not to abuse it and I definitely don't call her every time I think of her, or else I'd be on the phone with her hourly at least, lol. But if I wonder if I should call, if there is anything that I feel I need or want to talk to her about, I call.

[granite1]

eileen i totally understand the wanting someone to care.it really is important and it seems like he is he called you back and is calling you back in an hour.do you think maybe you can allow yourself to feel a little cared about by him.i think he is tryingBTW great in reaching out and answering those questions bet it was tough

[RiverX]

Originally Posted by Eileen2010

I called. Left a really pathetic message "Hi, it's Eileen XXX, I'm kind of in a bad place, but it's ok....I can use my skills...it can wait until next week, no need to call me back"

I know...stupid right? He called me back several hours later. Asked me a million questions. I stuttered and struggled. I kept saying "I'm fine, I'm sorry I called, I'm sorry I'm wasting your time..." Crap, I even started to cry...I NEVER cry. ACK!!! He is going to call me back in an hour.

It's so hard to let him know I can't handle things myself. Crap...skills, I don't have any skills other then taking too much medication, si and sleeping. And you know what, I can do this without anyone knowing. I don't know why today was different. I wanted someone to care. Scarey thinking I want him to know. That's not like me. I deal with crap by myself. I don't need anyone.

Well done. That is the idea of therapy, to let someone help, and to take those risks.
You have some fears about 'being helped'?
Personally I have plenty. Usually for me, if I share something sensitive, and the T. gets it wrong, doesnt hear, doenst understand, I feel something important in me is devalued, then I have to sort of disentangle, debrief myself of what happened. It sounds like maybe he understands enough tho to ring you back when you said dont ring back.

[WikidPissah]

Originally Posted by RiverX

You have some fears about 'being helped'?
back.

Yea, the thing about it for me is, over the past 4 years I have been swallowed up by the mental health system. I have been hospitalized too many times....which is why for the past year I haven't told pdoc or old T anything. (and thus have not been hospitalized in a year)

This new T is bringing a lot of stuff up in me, with all his questions. I want to hope that he won't be quick to toss me off on a hospital, but I can't really take that chance either.