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#1
Sep 28, 2010, 05:29 PM
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Had T this afternoon...and with all the encouragement I have gotten from you guys I actually talked. Some things that some of you said were replaying in my brain, and I thought...what the hell just try.
So I started with "I want to talk"....then "I need to tell you something that happened"...and with T's encouragement he led me into a conversation. I told all about the issue of my friend having seen me as a kid (see invasion post). I had a full blown panic attack about 5 min into it...and I started to disassociate...but he caught it and brought me back.....And you know what? as I got farther into the story I relaxed a little. He asked ALL the right questions. He listened thru all my studdering. He gave insightful comments. And he took the last 15 min to go thru relaxation exercises with me, then he told me I was going to panic about telling him, and when I do I should call. Right now I feel numb...I feel kind of like jello...I'm wicked tired too. I hope I can trust him. I hope he doesn't think I am stupid and crazy.
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never mind... |
 sittingatwatersedge, WePow
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#2
Sep 28, 2010, 05:33 PM
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he sounds great eileen .so far i bet you can trust him.remember little steps and a little trust.wow awsome work
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BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT  Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
| WikidPissah
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#3
Sep 28, 2010, 05:35 PM
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Wow, Eileen. That is awesome!!
You were so brave, and your T sounds really terrific. Way to go!  I hope you can take it easy tonight and do something nice for yourself. And get some rest. 
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| WikidPissah
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#4
Sep 28, 2010, 06:50 PM
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WOW !!!!! That opening up for the first time is one of the HARDEST steps on the path of healing - and YOU did it!! Way to go!
No. T does not think anything less of you. In fact, T's think very highly of clients who have the courage to tell their truth. My T told me this and I clung to it. So if anything has changed in the way your T now sees you, it is that your T now has a much deeper respect for who you are and how strong you are. BIG BIG Hugs to you !!!! |
| WikidPissah
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#5
Sep 28, 2010, 06:56 PM
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Good for you, Eileen.
 It sounds like it was such a hard thing for you to do, especially since over such a long period of time you have put so much energy into separating the two phases of your life. I can only imagine that this is terrifying for you. Your T sounds so gentle. I am glad you have him. |
| WikidPissah
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#6
Sep 29, 2010, 11:23 AM
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Wow, great work! And sounds like you have a great T!!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#7
Sep 29, 2010, 01:23 PM
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((Eileen)) That takes courage and you did it! Deep Breaths.
__________________
"Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara Don't ever mistake MY SILENCE for ignorance, MY CALMNESS for acceptance, MY KINDNESS for weakness. - unknown |
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#8
Sep 29, 2010, 02:43 PM
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You are awesome Eileen!!
__________________
He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. |
| WikidPissah
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#9
Sep 29, 2010, 05:57 PM
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and the freak out and anxiety begins....OMG...WHAT THE FRACK DID I DO!!!!!
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never mind... |
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#10
Sep 29, 2010, 07:44 PM
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You did the RIGHT thing.
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#11
Sep 29, 2010, 07:45 PM
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Like WePow said, you did exactly the right thing. Did you call your T to tell him about this, Eileen?
__________________
He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. |
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#12
Sep 30, 2010, 04:06 AM
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Eileen, you did the right thing! Excellent work, and please tell your T how you are feeling now.
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#13
Sep 30, 2010, 05:56 AM
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Quote:
remember you told us this? >> then he told me I was going to panic about telling him, and when I do I should call. maybe it will help the panic to realize that he knew ahead of time; therefore, it's not all that unusual that you would share something difficult with him, or that it might have an aftermath for you; but that he is experienced and can handle it, can help you. can you call him?
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#14
Sep 30, 2010, 07:27 AM
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Well, I was going to call T about the panic, but I just found out my last check to him bounced
 I am so wicked embarrassed...I am a CPA for crying out loud ... I DON'T bounce checks!!! UGH!!!!So now I have to call to apologize before he calls to demand money. Then I will run out to his office to drop off $$ for the check plus any fees he may have incurred as a result of my negligence.
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never mind... |
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#15
Sep 30, 2010, 07:33 AM
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(((((Eileen ))))))) it will be ok about the check and T :-) T knows you are good for it :-) Just keep being gentle with yourself.
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#16
Sep 30, 2010, 07:39 AM
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OMG!!! why did it have to be the check to him? why couldn't it have been the GP check, or the gyno check, or even the pdoc???
I'm not sure I can face him after this!!!
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never mind... |
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#17
Sep 30, 2010, 08:08 AM
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Quote:
The things - when bravely told in therapy - can really hurt again, almost like they hurt when they happened. In therapy, you are safe, not like back then.
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#18
Sep 30, 2010, 08:33 AM
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Oooooh I know how embarrassing that can be!!!! Once my card didn't go through when my T tried to charge me -- ack!! I could have died. But if you do like you said, go by his office, pay him the fee plus cover any fees he might have incurred -- things will be fine -- you can say it was all a big mistake -- you'll be okay! I bet he's done the same thing before and isn't even annoyed or anything. If you go by and remedy the situation as you said, that is all he would want or expect.
It's okay to be human, Eileen. Really, it's okay. T doesn't think anything less of you for this.
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He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. |
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#19
Sep 30, 2010, 11:50 AM
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breathe in, breathe out...breathe in, breathe out.
I L/M for him this morning and he just called back. He said "No problem, I have bounced checks myself, just pay me next week when you see me". Then he said "don't punish yourself for this"...lol...too late Crisis averted for now...
__________________
never mind... |
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#20
Sep 30, 2010, 12:06 PM
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You are so BRAVE!!!!
__________________
CindyLuWho “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh "It will all be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end."
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#21
Sep 30, 2010, 12:07 PM
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“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh
__________________
CindyLuWho “Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." Christopher Robin to Pooh "It will all be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not the end."
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