[alcira]

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it takes to work as a therapist. From where I stand, it seems to be an incredibly difficult "job". There have been a lot of mentions in different threads here about bad, ok, good vs great therapists. I remember wondering once how a difficult session affects a therapist. Do they take it home or are they able to leave it in their office? I know I wouldn't be able to leave it there and I would think about my clients a lot. I know I would get caught up in their stories and in my desire to help them. I asked my T once how she can deal with it and she said that that is the nature of the job. It sounded really strange. On one hand, it felt as if she was professional and able to handle the difficulties that come with working with clients. On the other hand, it sounded really detached. I almost felt like she didn't care enough. On one hand, I was relieved to hear that she can detach from what is happening in her office. On the other hand, I felt sad because in her eyes I was just her job.

This all started me thinking - is being a therapist really just a job or is it a calling? I feel being a therapist carries a great amount of responsibility - a lot more so than many other professions. From my own experience and from reading other people's experiences here on PC, I can see that therapists can have profound impact on their clients both positive and negative. It seems to me that to be a great therapist, you need to be devoted to helping your clients and from everything I read, that probably comes with making a lot of personal sacrifices. To be willing to make those, I feel you would have to look at being a therapist as your calling, rather than your job.

I am curious about what others think.

[WePow]

Alcira, thank you for this post. I will be very interested in reading the replies - esp replies from our PC Ts who post 'round these parts.

I am not a T, but from what I have seen, I think it would be both a calling and a job. I don't see how anyone could just be a therapist as a job because it is very emotional. Even when a T knows how to stay safe and solid inside, there are times when clients make bad choices (such as life termination) and the T being a human must process the same things a medical doctor would process if a patient is lost in surgery.

My heart goes out to all those who work hard at being a therapist. I think it takes a tremendous amount of courage and emotional stamina.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by alcira

It seems to me that to be a great therapist, you need to be devoted to helping your clients and from everything I read, that probably comes with making a lot of personal sacrifices. To be willing to make those, I feel you would have to look at being a therapist as your calling, rather than your job.

I agree with WePow that it is both. And I think that the rewards would compensate for the sacrifices, too.

[WikidPissah]

I actually think it's an art form.

[alcira]

Originally Posted by Eileen2010

I actually think it's an art form.

I would put that in the "it's a calling" category.

[Elana05]

I would say both. To me, a good therapist has to have the skill of truly being there for his or her patient but also able to put things aside when they go home or aren't working. It requires having good boundaries. I think you have to really enjoy these things... understanding other people. My other past T's really seemed to enjoy their work. My new T? I'm not so sure yet. She often seems kind of stressed out. lol. Still, she seems to want to help me so...
I know it's not the job for me. No sir. I think I'd take it all home with me.
Oddly... two past therapists I had both came to the profession later in life (in their 40s) and both had been musicians.
It got me to wonder, is there something about music that translates to psycology? Maybe the ability to listen well? hmmm...

E

[BlackCanary]

I think it's a profession, a career. More than a job.

My work, some years it was great, other years overwhelming. Now I'm in a role that I really enjoy, feel passionate about, can be an "evangelist" for my craft. It took me a long while to get to this place. There are times when management makes you nuts with changes, and when the people you work with are less than motivated, or you are just tired and need a break. But, underneath you are happy with your work!

A good therapist really loves the job, it is their profession, their livelihood. The good therapist wants to keep improving, see clients grow and change, watch happiness emerge. The good therapist likes earning money doing a job that is so enjoyable.

Semantics -- For me a calling is solely connected with being a religious leader (men and women may be a priest or bishop in my church). It does require that a person surrender to G*ds will, accept great personal or financial sacrifice for this role, live a life of service to all humanity. To get the job, a person goes through a long process to discern that they are truly called to this challenging life.
Other professions do not require this process (or they call it "grad school" or "internship"). However, I know that some folk use prayer and discernment to guide them in career choices, and some use their work (non-religious) as a way to serve humanity, feeling called to that role.

[jexa]

It's definitely not just a job. I agree with BlackCanary on this -- it's a profession and a way of life. It's a career path T's choose. And yes, good T's almost seem to be "called" to it but I usually reserve "calling" for religious leaders as well. I think when someone is good at their profession, it's because the profession "chose them." If that means the profession called them, then sure, being a therapist is a "calling." I think it's this way with all kinds of careers - artists, doctors, business owners, therapists.. Certain skill sets are needed.

T's just have a certain kind of intuitive type of skill set, where a successful artist has a way of representing beauty in a unique way, where a business owner has "business smarts." Just different skills. The skills Ts need are "people skills" and emotional intelligence. The ability to listen carefully and mindfully. The ability to read people and detect deception, even self-deception. T's need very advanced skills with language, as well -- the ability to skillfully use metaphor is probably the most important skill a T can have. But this skill is also related to people skills.

[Gus1234U]

i do not believe there is an "Iconic" Therapist, who is or isn't any one thing all the time. therapist are just people, with jobs. some do it better than others. some are better people that others. some days are better than others. it's a Luck of the Draw situation.

imagine a therapist's job: 35 or so people a week come into your little room and weep, and rant, and rave, and laugh, and cry, for 50 minutes, then you put them out on the street, sometimes knowing that they are gonna fall; but there is another waiting in a chair for her/his turn.

some come for 8 weeks, all their insurance will cover, tho they are crying for more; some come for years, and hardly change at all. some, a few, find a way out of the morass of thoughts and emotions that have dragged them down to the place where they need a stranger to be their guide, their friend, their surrogate parents, their Significant Other.

but no matter how many skills one, as a therapist, has, all the changing is the choice and decision of the client. no matter what one's feelings, the "therapeutic relationship" requires that for eight 50 minute sessions a day, one tries to focus on the endless woes of another, week after week, month after month,, year after year.

it's no wonder therapists take 6 week vacations, and schedule them around "professional conferences and training" to extend their time away from all the emotional neediness and cognitive stiffness of their work environment.

so let's try to be a little more understanding of the real human behind the "Therapist", and give them a little slack. find others who can be called in the off hours; learn self-comforting skills so we can wait our turn. have mercy.

[alcira]

Jexa and BlackCanary, perhaps calling was not the right word choice. I realize now that it can have different meaning for different people. I think all I meant to say is that it takes a special person to choose to be a therapist that I think is more than possessing a set of skills. I think it requires to give part of yourself in order to really relate and not everyone can or is willing to do that.

Gus, I have had different therapists and I am well aware that they are people with their own personalities, their own issues, etc. and that even if they are great they may not always be on top of their game. The "life" of a therapist you describe may be true for some, but certainly not all. My therapist, for example, works in a clinic where they share the responsibility with other therapists for emergency cases and she will not return calls or e-mails after hours or on weekends. She also does not take six week vacations, though she probably wishes too. Anyway, I am sorry if this thread triggered you.

Originally Posted by alcira

I remember wondering once how a difficult session affects a therapist. Do they take it home or are they able to leave it in their office?

There are always residual affects on me as a therapist, having impacting sessions with my client. Using your terms, I would say being a therapist is my calling. There are parts of being a therapist that can never be taught in graduate/doctoral school. It's about being able to make a very personal connection with someone, while being able to keep enough outside perspective to help them. But setting personal limits to take the best care of myself and my clients, billing insurances, writing notes, and filing paperwork is part of what makes it my "job".

[deliquesce]

mmm, i think it can be both but i must say i agree with gus to an extent that it's not necessarily a calling/profession for everyone who ends up being a psych.

i'm in the funny position right now of being around a group of students studying psychology - where we finally get to make the choice (and cross our fingers) about whether to continue on to become clinical/practising psychologists or not. there are some people who are certainly very committed to it, and then there are others who would prefer they were doing research but won't have the marks to get into a good grad program, so have left clinical psych as their back up plan.

there are many reasons for choosing to become a psychologist, and not necessarily all of them are to do with helping. e.g., the psychiatric association here market their profession by stressing work/life balance and flexibility - no mention of helping people in distress, it's all about being able to drop your children off at school and earn enough in 6hrs to be able to pick them up at the end of the day.

maybe there are more people in the helping professions who are there because of a calling, but - as with any job - there are people there because it was an attractive job to get into, and who treat it as their job.

as for what you said, gus, i agree to a large extent (recognising that there are large variations), but disagree with the following in particular:

Originally Posted by Gus1234U

it's no wonder therapists take 6 week vacations, and schedule them around "professional conferences and training" to extend their time away from all the emotional neediness and cognitive stiffness of their work environment.

so let's try to be a little more understanding of the real human behind the "Therapist", and give them a little slack. find others who can be called in the off hours; learn self-comforting skills so we can wait our turn. have mercy.

professional development is a required part of being a psychologist - it's not an outlet to escape "emotional neediness and cognitive stiffness". i have seen some burnt out psychologists absolutely relieved that they are about to go on annual vacay, but most psychs just take time off as part of good self care - the needs to "escape" isn't there because they are skilled at managing their jobs and how much they can commit to.

similarly, if a T is prepared to be called in their "off hours", there isn't any need as a client to "wait our turn" or "have mercy". it's the therapists job to set boundaries - how about we let them be adults and manage their own affairs? my pdoc is prepared to receive calls from me, but there are other clients he doesn't extend his personal contact details to. i trust that he knows what he's doing.

[sunrise]

My therapist and I have never discussed this topic, so I don't know how it is for him, but coincidentally, just this evening I read a conversation on this topic between 2 therapists (in a book I am reading now by therapist Irvin Yalom called "Starring at the Sun"). It goes like this:

"The rich opportunity for connection is precisely what makes therapy so rewarding for the therapist. I attempt to relate intimately and authentically with every patient I see, in every hour we meet. A short time ago, I commented to a close friend and colleague, also a therapist....

'This work is so satisfying,' I said, 'I'd do it for free. I consider it a privilege.'

He responded instantly, 'Sometimes I think I'd pay to do it.'"

Well, I think a lot of therapists wouldn't do it for free, but this is an opinion more informed than any I might offer, because I am not a therapist, and these men are.

I think my t would cringe a bit if I said his job was a calling. He doesn't like to be put on a pedestal. He would probably say it is his profession. He's dedicated to it. He's dedicated to staying up with his education. He's dedicated to his patients.
But a calling? He'd reserve that for religious callings.

By the way, he's never taken a 6 week vacation. In fact, I've never known him to be gone longer than a week. He has good boundaries and knows how to take care of himself. He won't let me abuse my privilges with him. He's a big boy. A strong t knows how to do that.

Originally Posted by sunrise

'This work is so satisfying,' I said, 'I'd do it for free. I consider it a privilege.'

He responded instantly, 'Sometimes I think I'd pay to do it.'"

this reminds me what my old T had on her website and had even said to me: she said she just loved what she did. you could tell too.

[Melbadaze]

my T said perhaps she was always just meant to be a therapist, as she started out training to become a teacher, was shocked at the treatment some children got in sch, especially those that didnt "fit" into mainstream sch and switched careers and ended up as a child therapist and obviously sees adults too.

[pachyderm]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

my T said perhaps she was always just meant to be a therapist, as she started out training to become a teacher, was shocked at the treatment some children got in sch, especially those that didnt "fit" into mainstream sch...

I wonder if this attitude towards children that you sometimes see in schools is a characteristic of "Western" society or if you see it in other societies too. From what I have heard, maybe it is true in some Oriental societies too...

Interesting (to me) to think of why this might be. Guess it reflects the feeling that the children are/should be the parents and should meet the needs of the parents (or other adults) and not embarrass them or make them anxious by being "different" or "trouble".

[beggin for help]

Originally Posted by alcira

I have been thinking a lot lately about what it takes to work as a therapist. From where I stand, it seems to be an incredibly difficult "job". There have been a lot of mentions in different threads here about bad, ok, good vs great therapists. I remember wondering once how a difficult session affects a therapist. Do they take it home or are they able to leave it in their office? I know I wouldn't be able to leave it there and I would think about my clients a lot. I know I would get caught up in their stories and in my desire to help them. I asked my T once how she can deal with it and she said that that is the nature of the job. It sounded really strange. On one hand, it felt as if she was professional and able to handle the difficulties that come with working with clients. On the other hand, it sounded really detached. I almost felt like she didn't care enough. On one hand, I was relieved to hear that she can detach from what is happening in her office. On the other hand, I felt sad because in her eyes I was just her job.

This all started me thinking - is being a therapist really just a job or is it a calling? I feel being a therapist carries a great amount of responsibility - a lot more so than many other professions. From my own experience and from reading other people's experiences here on PC, I can see that therapists can have profound impact on their clients both positive and negative. It seems to me that to be a great therapist, you need to be devoted to helping your clients and from everything I read, that probably comes with making a lot of personal sacrifices. To be willing to make those, I feel you would have to look at being a therapist as your calling, rather than your job.

I am curious about what others think.

It's either a calling or a curse. lol

[dustintochampagne]

i guess ultimately, i'd have to say it's a profession, a career choice. but that i feel that it's probably similar to any career choice and what i mean by that is that some people know from a very young age that yes, this is for sure what i want to do with my life and some people come into whatever field at for different reasons, later in life.

having said that - i don't think that signifies if that will make the T a "good/great" one or not.

(i'm going to state now that i have seen several T's, and this is all just opinion, and that i hope i do not offend anyone. just stating my thoughts

1. fact is, a T cannot probably possibly "click" with EVERY client they see. so although a T may be considered absolutely wonderful by the majority of their clientele, i'm sure there will be a few, or maybe even over the years, just as many, that couldn't click with the T, and felt exactly the opposite.

2. i think, as was touched on already i believe, that what makes a "great" T is someone who can find a way to successfully blend the educational/by the books/what you learn in school stuff - with the things you don't or even can't learn in school/training. by this i mean, personality i guess, for one example. a T has to be able to connect with a client in order for the relationship to work, make the client feel safe and heard and validated, help them, and over time i'm sure care a great deal. but then at the end of the day, when they go home, maybe have a thought or two, but be able to disconnect from their job. i'm sure this is hard. (do you think T's use some of the same thought-stopping tools they talk about? then you have to consider T's who answer after-hour calls and emails. wow. i'm sure it can be hard. this post has opened my eyes to that fact even more, which i think is great.

so i'm sure they definitely have to be committed and want to help.

3. one last thing, because i'm sure this has become painfully long for some - sorry! anyway, i think it's possible for some T's - along with any other kind of professional - to lose track of why they chose the job they did. to become focused on money(understandable, i suppose, it is their income), filing papers, insurance, etc etc. maybe jaded is the word. in this case, (and maybe because i encountered this semi-recently with my last T, i feel) - i can only hope that the T can reconnect to why they originally started out doing the job.

ultimately, as has been said, a therapist is human in the end. we all, if able, try and choose what job/career we think we'll be good at. some are just better than others, i guess.

i guess that's my very long (again, so sorry!) two cents for now.

Being a therapist is my T's second career - he came into it later in his life. I don't know if he would specifically use the word "calling", but I know that he loves what he does, he's good at it, and he is able to use excellent self-care to not become overwhelmed by what he does.

He has told me (repeatedly) how much he loves what he does. I always think that it must feel so good to feel so good about how he is spending his time

[Sannah]

I am not a therapist but I have an MSW and I volunteer as a school social worker. My policy, which works well for me, is that I am a source of information and support and my client can choose to use this resource or not. Keeping this boundary of, this is my life and this is your life, helps me to not get too involved with the client. If I were to get overinvolved in the client's outcome it would not be good for either of us. I have faith in people that they are smart enough and willing enough to take care of themselves with correct information and good support. I am patient enough to wait even when they flounder for a while which I accept as totally part of the process. Keeping this type of a boundary is very empowering for the client too.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Eileen2010

I actually think it's an art form.

that't pretty much what my T said, it's an art. She says this is my passion. Gives me hope that she won't just give up and kick me out.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Elana05

two past therapists I had both came to the profession later in life (in their 40s) and both had been musicians.
It got me to wonder, is there something about music that translates to psychology?E

maybe it's a natural drive for harmony. Seriously. The incoming T patient is more or less chaotic, and the T's task is to help the person find and take up all the discnnected threads, and (re)weave them into a harmonious song. not a bad thought, that. thanks Elana

I guess that means both, a "job" and a calling. complex to be sure.