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Magnate
Member Since Nov 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,848
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Nov 19, 2010 at 06:15 PM
#1
I just started going down to the counseling center at my school, and while I've told the counselor I'm seeing the truth about what's going on, I haven't told her everything there is as to why I went down there and such.
It's not that I don't like her, and it's not that I don't want to be completely open and honest...it's just that I'm having a lot of trouble doing so. Help! |
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Magnate
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 2,371
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Nov 19, 2010 at 06:39 PM
#2
(((SingDanceRunLife))) I remember when I first looked into going to a T. I was scared out of my mind. I found my T through my insurance companys website. I remember how scared I was just calling her and making that first appt. I just told her I wanted to make an appt to see her but not why. When I first met her we did the 'intake' form asked some questions etc... The next session after that I told her more of why I wanted to see her but kept it general. I told her I wanted to talk to her about things I've been carrying in my head - things I've had buried. It took me a while to say some things and other things took longer (like recently I've been able to open up more about other things - I've been in therapy for 2 1/2 years btw).
I'm not saying it will take you 2 1/2 years to say what you need to share but try to be patient with yourself. You can do this when you are ready. __________________ "Be careful how you speak to your children. One day it will become their inner voice." - Peggy O'Mara Don't ever mistake MY SILENCE for ignorance, MY CALMNESS for acceptance, MY KINDNESS for weakness. - unknown |
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Legendary
Member Since Aug 2007
Location: West of Tampa Bay, East of the Gulf of Mexico
Posts: 14,352
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Nov 19, 2010 at 06:47 PM
#3
Quote:
It is mine as well. Recently I talked to T about other patients in therapy and that I imagined they just glided right into the room and talked freely and easily about anything they wanted to. Boy did that get a chuckle out of T. hehe She assured me that most patients struggle and very few flow freely. Not that this generalization helps Me, but good to know. What it did though, was to get out what I wanted, what mattered to me, and it connected us when we saw it as a therapy goal. You just started. It takes time to feel comfortable with someone new, to feel you are safe and they are trustworthy. It will come, it will get easier. Some people write down something they really want to talk about, and givei it to the T or read it in therapy. You can also spend some time talking with her about this difficulty; her encouraging response can help a lot. What is it that keeps you from talking about what you want to talk about, do you think? |
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Magnate
Member Since Nov 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,848
16 65 hugs
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Nov 19, 2010 at 07:10 PM
#4
I just take awhile to get comfortable with people. Just the other day, I told two of my best friends the rest of the reason I've been having issues...and they are some of my favorite people in the world who I trust the most but they still had no idea this entire time!
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Elder
Member Since Oct 2006
Location: Everywhere and Nowhere
Posts: 6,588
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Nov 19, 2010 at 07:56 PM
#5
It takes time to build trust. Just allow the relationship to unfold in a natural way. It is like a rose, it only harms the rose if you try to pry it open.
Just be natural - be yourself. That is the one great thing about therapy - it is the one place where you are free to just BE. Don't try to be who you want T to see. Don't try to be who you think T wants to see. Just be who you are. That is what T's actually admire the most! They spend a ton of time trying to get people to drop the mask and get real. Be honest. If you don't know an answer to a question, say "I don't know." T's give tons of questions that they know we don't have answers to. They do it to get us to start thinking about things. If things bother you, be sure to tell T about them. Don't hold onto things that come up between you and your T. Address the situations with honesty and respect. And give yourself some space and time to learn how to do therapy. There is no other relationship like it in the world. But it can be the best medicine ever! __________________ ~~~~~~~~~~~~ |
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 rainbow8, sittingatwatersedge
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Magnate
Member Since Nov 2007
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,848
16 65 hugs
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Nov 19, 2010 at 08:55 PM
#6
I just feel like we're going to get nowhere if she doesn't know everything else because while what I told her is the thing that put(s) me absolutely over the edge, it is not the main source of my problems.
I also know that it takes time to build up trust/a relationship and that T isn't easy. This isn't my first time in T, and I had the same issues when I first started with my T back home (who, by the way, I think I want to call and see if she can fit me in when I'm home over Christmas break)... |
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Euphie Queen
Member Since Jul 2010
Location: New England
Posts: 10,718
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Nov 19, 2010 at 09:13 PM
#7
good idea getting in with T over break...
All I can do is repeat that it takes time. If it's that urgent to get out, write it down and hand it to her. __________________ never mind... |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Sep 2009
Posts: 1,660
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Nov 20, 2010 at 10:48 AM
#8
Ah, see what you meaan SDRL. I agree with Eileen, try writing it out and handing it to her. It's incredibly nerve-wracking but it's the only way I've been able to open up about certain things in T.
__________________ He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. |
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Member
Member Since Aug 2010
Location: Copenhagen
Posts: 82
14 |
Nov 20, 2010 at 02:59 PM
#9
Quote:
I am not always open. Being open is so much harder... As I write this, I realise it's exactly the same in (my) real life! __________________ There is a crack, a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in. Leonard Cohen |
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sittingatwatersedge
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: In Your Face
Posts: 1,104
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Nov 20, 2010 at 03:15 PM
#10
I've been with my T for seven months and I still haven't completely opened up. When it's time to talk about something, you will know and bring it up. Don't try to force anything out if you are not ready to talk about it. It also takes time for the T to get comfortable with you, so ....
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2010
Location: In Your Face
Posts: 1,104
14 2 hugs
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Nov 20, 2010 at 03:16 PM
#11
Quote:
Precisely! Well said! I told my T once simply that I didn't want to talk about something and asked him to move on to another subject. He did. That was it. |
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