[michelle421]

how long does it take for a therapist to really understand you? i feel like it would take years.... and i dont want to spend years before i get anywhere with my new T. i have never been successful in going to therapy, though i've tried a number of times. i'm starting to think that i'm really the problem. do i just have unrealistic expectations?

i just feel like this person can't know me, who i am, how i am the way i am, my life, my issues.... unless i tell them. but telling them all about me is going to take forever! my best friends know me because i've known them for years and we've spent who knows how many hours talking?? ...but how can this person i only see one hour per week actually help? a T only has what they hear and see in that one hour to try to make sense of things... i feel like i'm just being misunderstood, though. she's not getting me, and part of my problem is that i dont know what to say to help her understand. i feel like i'm not good at communicating. and i didn't like her questions and felt stupid for not having any way to answer them.

today was my second session. i feel like it was soooo frustrating! i was actually looking forward to having someone willing and able to understand me and help me.... but now i still think i'm expecting too much. and so why bother with therapy?

the only way she's going to understand me is if i talk about me or my issues.... first of all, i dont think i really know what my problem is, so the things we've talked about so far aren't really what i need. i just feel like nothing she says is helpful yet, and it only makes me feel more frustrated and i shouldn't waste so much time trying to make it work if it just won't....

[Omers]

The therapist I work with spends a lot of time developing a "theory of omers". It went on for a while and seemed pointless to me but she was learning about me... more than I knew. Give it a few more sessions but if it doesn't come together then try and find someone you "click" with.

[ECHOES]

It takes as long as it takes, but definitely more than two session
Every time you go, she learns more and more about you. You couldn't possibly lay it all out at one time. You are deep and complex and worth the time it takes.

One thing I did for myself this time around in therapy, was to commit to the process. T asked if I could do that during a rocky period in the beginning. And I have a history of stopping therapy abruptly (something I've learned a lot about in the past 3 years with this T), so I also committed to going even when I didn't feel like it; go and talk about that.

It can get frustrating, it can feel hopeless, but those are things to talk about, learn from and be reassured about.

You don't have to figure things out, know what your issues are; she is there to listen to you and help you discover those things with you. She will get to know you and understand you as you talk about anything at all. She is trained to listen in a special way to all that you say and don't say.

Keep going She can only get to know you if you are there!

[WikidPissah]

Sorry, but it does take a lot more then 2 sessions. sigh It's really hard, I know...but maybe give her a chance. See if she starts picking up on things with you after a couple more weeks.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

Keep going She can only get to know you if you are there!

that's it, Echoes. thanks!