[rainbow8]

This was the first week (except for T's vacation) since I've been seeing her that we didn't exchange emails. I feel distant from her because we didn't have that connection. I'm almost afraid to see her tomorrow.

On the other hand, I feel like asking her something so weird. I want to ask if the "baby", "3 yr. old", and "5 yr. old" can all climb into her heart for the week she's taking off. I want to say "we won't bother you and we'll be quiet." But I also want to ask her if I can climb in too. How needy and weird can I get?

She will probably say it's okay, too. But I don't think I have the courage to ask her something like that. Just thinking about it.....I think she "hypnotized" me last session. I didn't need the email connection. Maybe I internalized her caring and her ability to help me. Yet I still feel distant from her. Push and pull. I feel both--so close to her that I didn't need her validation, and distant because it's scary not to have needed it.

I've asked my T for things like that. A couple of weeks ago I was sad and hugging him at the end of session and trying to soak up that safe feeling to take with me and I said "I'm trying to take a little bit of your soul with me". And he said "It's okay, you can have a little bit"

I tend to say everything I'm feeling/thinking. And it's always okay.

[sugahorse1]

I think it's a sign of great strength and a close relationship to be able to be so open and honest with respect to what you need and want
Treehouse - your T sounds AWESOME!!